All my illusions, in my head

So, I did the WoW post. That leaves Lilie, Rebecca, Ambra, and work. One of those is significantly less fun than the other three. Well, that, and one of those is much *more* fun than the other three. Astute readers already know which is which. That leaves us with two topics, both of which are somewhat... anemic, at best. So, I'll start with the more interesting of the two.

Rebecca.

There really hasn't been much, if any, progress. Well, kinda. Not what would typically be considered "progress" in the relationship sense, but, well, there has been action. Movement. Something.

So I went through the Drive-Through when I got off of work Saturday night; she was there. I just got the usual - one large orange soda, nothing odd there. However, as usual, just seeing her put this big, goofy grin on my face and definitely raised my spirits (Note: to find out why they needed raising, find the job post and read it. Wait, it's not up yet. I guess you'll just have to use your imagination.) But yeah, I pulled up, and there she was. As usual, I felt all icy in my gut - fear. I promised myself I wasn't going to be afraid to meet her eyes, and I did. And it was fantastic. Among other things - boobs and wings - I love eyes. I love making eye contact with someone I like, it's just an incredible feeling. Something about the eyes being a window to the soul and all that, I don't know. But making eye contact with people is kind of 'my thing'. I don't know. Though it kind of freaks out people, I love to hold eye contact with people *way* beyond societal norms. That was one of the things I really liked about my relationship with Mindy - sometimes, we'd just lie there and gaze into each other's eyes, not saying anything. Occasionally, I miss those times. Occasionally.

But I digress.

So yeah, I promised myself that I was going to not avoid her eyes for once, I was going to make, and possibly sustain, eye contact with her. And, frightening as it was at first, I did. I looked her right in the eyes, and I smiled. Still didn't say anything other than the standard "Thank you." as she gave me my orange soda, but still. Baby steps. I want to say I saw at least recognition in her eyes - something.

Let me clarify the part that comes after the implied 'but'. There's two ways to finish the statement. The first is "but there just wasn't anything there", the second is "but I'm not sure". I'm not sure which way I mean it. There might have been something, and I've just not grown accustomed to looking at her eyes to recognize it, or she just didn't recognize me. That, or she was like, "OMG, who is this freak?"

Either way, I went home smiling.

The next day, I was working five to close. Oddly enough, that will probably end up end up being my last closing shift at Domino's (more on that later). But yeah, worked 5 - close, had Ashley and Joe inside. At one point, Kyle asked if he could go to JitB (Jack-in-the-Box). I told him sure, just that I wanted him to check and see if Rebecca was there. So he did. He went up to the counter, and asked the person if there was someone named Rebecca there. She pointed her out to him, and he went on his merry way. After he came back, Ashley went through the drive-through and had a little, uh, conversation with Rebecca. It went something like "This is going to be weird, but, uh, you know that guy in the big red truck that always comes through here and orders an orange soda? Well, I work with him, and he wants to send you a pizza. What kind do you like?" As far as I can ascertain, her response was "Um, cheese."

At that point, I was kind of backed into a corner. Yeah, I could have told Ashley not to go, and I should have, 'cause I'm not normally a 'have someone else go talk to someone for you' kind of person. But she did, which left me in an intersting position. So, I sent the pizza over. Had Kenny deliver it - he walked in, said he had a pizza for Rebecca from Billy.

Yeah.

Now, I have no idea what to do. I'm afraid to go through the drive-through and run into her, 'cause I'd have NO IDEA what to say. "So, um, like your pizza?" "Hi, I'm Billy." Yeah, this whole thing was just botched from the get-go. I don't think I was ready for anything to happen with this whole thing. First and foremost, I have this bad feeling that she's like sixteen. I mean, she has braces, which is usually a younger thing. Also, acne. So, that's two indications that she's probably younger. Now, I don't generally have a problem with the age thing - Mindy and I were three and a half, almost four years apart, and that was never an issue (mostly). But there is a limit. And yeah, the range that's not weird gets wider the older you get. But 16 and 23? That's a little much for me. I mean, she works the overnight a lot, which is why I'm thinking she's at least 18. I just talked to Rose, and she's thinking the same thing, that that's probabaly and indication that she's not 16 or something. She's more familiar with the applicable laws then I am, and I have almost no knowledge whatsoever, except an interview at Target when I was a senior in high school where they said something about me being young and that affecting my potential hours, since I couldn't work late. I'm not going to just rely on hearsay (as people tend to do when they're quoting OSHA regulations regarding breaks, and almost always get it wrong, especially concerning Texas's idiosyncracies), but it's a point that can't be discounted, either, without further investigation. And yeah, not worried about legality, since it's not like, even if through some bizarre chain of events, we did hook up or something, sex wouldn't come up for a while.

So there's those issues, and then the whole non-thing with Lilie. Though, apparently, I shouldn't worry too much about that. More on that one later.

Unknown (Megamix)