Take the glitz back, I want the soul instead

Five months.

It's been about five months since I've posted. I'll try to catch up with what I've missed.

School:

School's going really well so far. Took those three classes during the Spring semester, got a 4.0. That was pretty neat. The day of Finals was kind of funny. They schedule like 2 hours for each final, and mine were back to back to back. Each final took me around thirty to forty-five minutes to do, giving me between forty-five minutes and an hour to kill between each final, in addition to the half hour break they already build in to the schedule. The obvious answer would be to use that time to review the material and/or study for the next final; the only problem with that, of course, is that I don't like to count on such intangible, unsure variables like that, so I was completely ready for each final. I went to a dining hall and grabbed some breakfast during one break, and I don't recall what I did during the other final. After the last one, I had to walk to work where Mom was picking me up to give me a ride home.

Something had gone crazy wrong with my truck. Ended up dropping quite a bit on new tires, then I had to have the engine remounted and stuff (they did it wrong during the original installation). That was fun. I ended up only taking three hours during summer school, one class during Summer I. Phil 1305, Introduction to Philosophy and Critical Thinking. The class was okay, I guess. Every morning at 8 am, for two hours, Monday through Friday. I ended up late to work quite a few days because of it, which was fun. I pulled a strong A in that class as well, which was really good, 'cause it was a Writing Intensive class, and I hate writing. It seemed like the more outlandish I made my conclusion, the better my grade on the test was. I don't know if it just did a better job of making my point, or my writing just got stronger as the semester went on, or the professor just appreciated someone who could effectively communicate the material and their understanding thereof, while still making their conclusion fun to read. I hope it was the latter, but I'm not counting on it. Whatever.

So I didn't take any classes during Summer II, 'cause of the money I had to drop on my truck. I'm registered for 13 hours, 4 classes and 1 lab, for the Fall. Chem II, Chem II Lab, Prob & Stat, Data Structures, and Intro to Fine Arts. I even got some financial aid for this and the Spring semesters. It's pretty awesome. Class starts in about two weeks. I've got most of my textbooks, bought two textbooks online - ebay and amazon are pretty neat, around half price of what the bookstore wanted, *and* I could flip them back for most of the price. I still have to pick up my Chem book/lab manual at the bookstore; the professor wrote both of them. So that's fun. Got my classes blocked Monday/Wednesday, which works out well. I start at 9:30 both mornings; Monday, I go to 6-something, on Wednesday, I'm out around 3-something. Long days, but I'll be taking both days off work so I don't have to go in that night. I might take the occasional Tuesday night off as well, to give me some time to get some real sleep. Of course, that's all depending on the work situation, which will have to get better before I'm able to do so, but we'll get to that later.

And I'm officially a senior.

So I don't feel like going into work just yet, so I guess I'll go with personal stuff next. I finally started a good diet that I'm comfortable with, and I feel confident that I can stick with it, for the most part. Coupling that with the amounts of exercise I have lined up, I hope, I really hope, that I can finally lose some weight.

Socially, it's just as much of an abyss as always. Didn't talk to anyone in any of my classes over the fall semester, or the one I had in the summer. I ended up sitting behind this semi-cute girl over the summer, didn't really get her name or anything. She was a hippie (Wait. Her parents were hippies. I'm not sure?) from Austin. Anyway.

So still friends with Matt, we work out and/or play racquetball in the mornings when our schedules work out. Haven't talked to Cullen recently, though I hope to remedy that soon. Rose is moving out of her parents place, which is cool, getting a little one bedroom; I'm helping her move (no big surprise there). Haven't made any new friends (except at work, but that gets covered in the work section) lately. Maybe that'll change in the Fall. I doubt it, but whatever.

Work's been interesting. Our new GM is working out really well, he's a really cool guy. We're getting pasta and sandwiches in the next few weeks (Sh! Nobody's allowed to know that!), which means we have to regear a lot of things, and find room for a bunch of new products, and retrain everyone on new stuff. It's going to be somewhat more labor-intensive, which kind of sucks. The only good part is that we're getting some good stuff, like sliced provolone, genoa salami, and chicken. Of course, they don't really fit in with my diet, so I'll only taste them sparingly, but it'll probably positively impact sales.

Bill no longer works there; he left to go to Colorado or something, leaving me as the only MiT right now. Jen Fee almost came back, but she went to Kyle instead. I've mentioned to Ambra that she should come back and be an MiT for us; new gm, new dm, there's a good chance they'll let her. They should - she's well trained, she's smart, they let her GM a store for over six months. Oh, and we're NOT DATING, nor WERE WE EVER. They're cracking down ever harder on employee dating, transferred a GM to a completely different district because she was dating another GM. Whatever. We did hire this awesome insider named Becky, but she only worked here for the summer. That made me sad, especially when she left like two weeks ago. Thanks to that, we're still working on improving our inside staff. We need another shift runner or MiT, probably another insider or two. We did hire Janelle as a driver, that's pretty neat. She might be moving back here for her last semester and/or year of school, which would be interesting. Her and Mom don't get along as well as her and I do, so she's a little worried that it might not work out, that they're going to clash too hard much for her to live here. I keep telling her that it was hard for me at first, but that it got a lot better, especially once school started.

Anyway.

So that's what's going on with that.

Vanessa Carlton -- Nolita Fairytale

Save tonight, and fight the break of dawn

Man, if people thought I had odd sleep habits before...

I just woke up. Sort of. It's hard to explain, as I don't quite understand it myself. Let's see... I was off Monday and Tuesday, but didn't wake up until around 4pm on Wednesday. Went to work at 5, got back around 3:15 or so. Didn't fall asleep until around 10-11 am, and was woken up by Lilie when she came over, at like 1. After she left, I started playing WoW, and Cullen called and we went and played DDR. I took him back home and got home around 8 [?]. I took two naps - kind of skipping (think of skipping a stone on water - it being in contact with the water is being awake, and it in the air is asleep. It's a weird analogy, but I use it a lot, because my sleep habits do that, even the rapid fire bouncing near the end.) Then I finally stayed awake, 'cause I knew Lilie was coming over, and we went to bed together, and eventually to sleep. But I couldn't fall asleep. Then I started skipping again - not that I'm complaining, mind you - and she finally woke up around 11 or so. She left fairly soon after that, and I've been in and out ever since. It's only now, at 5:15, that I'm actually awake enough to get out of bed and stay awake, and I don't doubt that that's in large part because I have to go to work here shortly. Not only that, but I'm working 'til close today and tomorrow, so that's 6 - 4, 5 - 4 (though I hope that as I close more, that 2 hours starts coming *way* down). We might go watch Fantastic Four tomorrow during the day, depending on how tired she is, but she'll have to come over and wake me up, 'cause I'll be asleep (again, not complaining. It's probably my favorite way to wake up.) Then I have 6-10 on Sunday, and there's a good chance she'll come over that night. So yeah.

In retrospect, this might just be my body getting back at me for all the times I just couldn't sleep and got even sleep than usual in the past two weeks or so when I was trying to figure out what to do about Lilie - first, about getting over her, then about getting back with her. I'm thinking it'll eventually stabilize itself again.

Or something like that. Either way. Meh.

Have to get ready for work now, will post about work and Lilie and work with Lilie later.

Needless to say, for once, they're both good topics, though one is just good, and the other one brings a smile to face whenever it crosses my mind.

This may be the greatest surrender of all time

Alright, back to basics. Or something like that.

So Cullen and I went to play DDR. Well, let me back up a bit.

Worked Tuesday night, 5 - C. Got pretty slow. Nothing notable there. Well, yeah, there was. Lilie called about 4:30, while I was doing the dishes. I called her back as I was getting dressed, and we continued the conversation a little while I was driving to work. She told me that she missed talking to me, since we hadn't talked in a while. I explained to her why I hadn't called in a while - she wanted to be left alone, and I was afraid to 'poke' her. So we talked a little, and began patching things up. Well, sort of. She seems to be feeling a little better.

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So I went to work. Nothing really notable there. Closed, so I got out of there 'bout 12 or so. Agreed to come in early Wednesday morning to help put up the HUGE truck that was coming in. Fell asleep about 4 or so, woke up at 6. Went in at 7:30, and Javi and I had a blast putting up the truck. About 30 cases went right back out, though. We were done by 10:15 or so, and since I didn't have to be back in 'til 12, I went ahead and went home for a bit. I was feeling fairly sick, so I went ahead and took some Nyquil. Bad idea. I went back in to work my actual shift, and I was having to fight not only being kinda tired, but the drowsy-effects of the medicine. Luckily, it doesn't have *that* bad of an effect on me, so I was okay. Again, it was really slow, so we went down to just three - Megan, Dora, and I. Got out of there at six or so. Rick was the evening manager, with Shelley and Adam fountaining. Adam was about twenty minutes late, and had a major attitude. He had hurt his leg or something, so he was limping around. Of course, he made the decision to go ahead and come in in lieu of seeking medical care, so that was his decision. Him and Rick started clashing almost immediately, but I didn't really pay that much attention to it - I was just doing the deposit.

So I finished the deposit and took off. Dropped it off at the bank, came home, climbed into bed, and got ready to fall asleep. I had my pillows all arranged, and was cuddled up into my blanket, and was ready to fall asleep for a while. I gave Lilie a call, and we talked some more. Decided we might hang out or something later, and kinda reviewed what had been going on. Her car was in the shop for three days, so she was having a nice little vacation - lots of WoW. So we talked a little, then finished our conversation for the evening. I was basically asleep, when Rick called. He told me that Adam had walked out - something about a personality clash or something. I was very groggy, so I wasn't following him entirely. Shelley ended up leaving at 9 as scheduled, and Rick wasn't able to find anyone to come in, so Rick and/or the carhops had to handle all the fountaining afterwards, as well as closing. It wasn't *that* busy, though, so it wasn't that bad.

I woke up about 10 or 11 or so, after a nice nap. I went ahead and stayed up 'til I had to go in at 6 or so. Allison and I opened. Pretty slow, nothing exciting or anything. Got out of there 'bout 1:15, headed home. Decided to take another nap. Javi called me in the middle of that (they *always* do that!) to see if I could come in about 9 on Friday, since he was going to have to work a long shift to cover for Ray. I agreed. Woke up around 8 or 9, and called Javi to ask what the hell we had talked about. Called Cullen too, to confirm that we were still on for DDR. Got over there, picked him up. However, there was one slight modification. Contingent upon his approval (which he gave), we stopped by Lilie's for a bit to say hey. He wanted to stay in the truck, so I went up by myself. God, it was good to see her. We hugged, like in the old days. The hugs of our forefathers. Or something like that. I told her I was on my way out of town and just dropped by to say hi -

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- and we hugged some more. Talked for a bit, then I went back to the truck with Cullen. We went to Austin to play some DDR.

But I have to go to work now, so I'll finish later.

Dream quickies

Weird dreams:

Suzie, a ride, making out.

Kenni, a bake sale, Lucas.

Some kind of train?

I'm going to leave now and play DDR with Cullen.

And continue my rampage.

Find your calm, in the eye of the storm

So I dropped Cullen off at his house, and started to head home, my spirits having been lifted by a night of DDR with a great friend.

That lasted about two minutes. I returned to my previously depressed state of being fairly quickly driving down Hilliard. I don't know why... it probably didn't help that 1000 Words came on, which is a song that now has significant meaning to me - and if anyone laughs at that, I swear I'll smack you.

Anyway.

I still haven't pinned down the original cause of my depression, but separating from Lilie definitely didn't help. So I came home and played some, but had to open. I crashed for about an hour, then went off to work. Nothing really of note there. Well, except we got in a Coke order and a truck, I had to put up both of them, and had to cut a crapload of onions since no one else had been cutting them. Adam came in as the secondary manager, followed by Dave. It was really slow for lunch, but things got really, really busy about 2 or so. I had to stay until almost 4, which sucked. I got home and fell asleep.

I volunteered to go in that evening about an hour before close and help do the money and stuff so that Javi could do the changeover without having to worry about that, and he wouldn't have to be there forever. The problem is that we were supposed to close at 11, but we ended up closing at 10. I had hoped we'd be closing at 11, so I'd still be there doing the deposit at midnight. Even that plan was ruined, since we were slow enough that Dave told us to close an hour early. Got out of there about 11:20 or so, came home. Mom was at Cheatham Street and Janelle was at a party, so I was just hanging here at the big hour. I think I was talking to Heather online at midnight, nothing special. Mom called about 1 and told me that her and Jerry were at All-Niter Diner and would love to have me join them, so I did. We had a nice meal. One note - I was parked right in front, on like the second parking spot on that street. As I was climbing back into my truck and getting situated, I saw a small red car come flying around that corner. Habitually, I looked at it - sure enough, it had a Domino's thing on the top, a hood that wouldn't close... yep, it was her.

And here I thought I wasn't going to see anyone special on New Year's.

Went home and crashed. Worked 5 - close that night. Shelley was back from wherever the hel she was (South Padre) and was fountaining that night with Allison. I was supposed to have Pedro, Rick, and Freddie cooking, but Freddie was really sick and called in. Pedro was supposed to be off at 9, but he stayed and closed. Rick didn't come in 'til 8, so I spent most of my time in the kitchen. Shelley annoyed the fucking hell out of me. She is very defensive about being criticized - I told her I had to review some items on her Star Guides (don't ask), and she made some comment a little later about "Hold on, I have to finish listening to Billy tell me what a complete idiot I am" or something like that. We didn't get along very well. Then she shows up on 31, and Shelley went out and talked to her for a bit. She returned a little bit later with some food for Shelley. Nothing really else of note happened that night. Well, except when she showed up to give Shelley a ride home. She parked on 4. I was sitting in the manager chair, and it's unfortunate that whenever you look up from the computer, you're pretty much looking at 4. So I had the joy of looking up as I was counting and seeing her car head-on a few times. That was fun.

Sunday, worked 5 - C again, but I've pretty much covered that. Got Chelsea to fountain for me tonight, 'cause there was no way I was going to go in tonight. Had an interesting conversation with Jess, though:

just_jess_from_smt: Kristin came in tonight just_jess_from_smt: shes back mr_binky_the_jackalope: Montalvo? mr_binky_the_jackalope: To work? just_jess_from_smt: yep just_jess_from_smt: just to say hi just_jess_from_smt: chelseas turning 18 the 12th, theyre all excited mr_binky_the_jackalope: Exciting just_jess_from_smt: she wanted to see you mr_binky_the_jackalope: Kristin? just_jess_from_smt: hadnt heard about Lilie mr_binky_the_jackalope: Did you tell her? just_jess_from_smt: yeah just_jess_from_smt: no just_jess_from_smt: chelsea did mr_binky_the_jackalope: I didn't know Chelsea pays attention to my social life just_jess_from_smt: maybe it was Lacey mr_binky_the_jackalope: Either way, what'd she say? just_jess_from_smt: she was very happy mr_binky_the_jackalope: What? just_jess_from_smt: she was happy mr_binky_the_jackalope: Kristen was? just_jess_from_smt: yes mr_binky_the_jackalope: When Lacey and/or Chelsea told her that Lilie and I aren't together anymore? mr_binky_the_jackalope: Or to be back? just_jess_from_smt: yep just_jess_from_smt: you mr_binky_the_jackalope: ... mr_binky_the_jackalope: odd

Form your own opinion. Went to dinner with Mom and Janelle at Katy Station, since she won a gift certificate there a while back in a band auction or somesuch. After that, Janelle and I went to Best Buy (got Final Fantasy Anthologies, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (both full extended editions)), and Blockbuster. Apparently, Blockbuster doesn't charge late fees anymore. The catch, however, is that if you don't return it by the 7th day it's due back, the full retail price is automatically charged to your account, and congratulations, you've bought yourself whatever it is you've kept. So anyway...

I miss her. We haven't talked since we broke up. I haven't called her, for a couple reasons. She said she wanted space, to be left alone, etc., so I'm respecting that. Also, and both her and Shelley have experienced this, I'm really awkward on the phone and don't know what to say. I usually only call people if I have a specific reason for calling, else, I just don't know what to say and tend to get really quiet. There are a few exceptions to this - Rose and I can talk for hours, but that's 'cause she talks a lot - but for the most part, I tend to avoid the phone. Mom and I had an argument last night, so I got some flowers on the way home from work - a big vase of yellow roses, Mom's favorite flower (lucky choice on my part). She came out this morning, saw them, and though that I had bought them for Lilie. Which isn't a bad idea, except for the reasons noted above. That's really why I haven't tried to call her, or leave some flowers by her door, or ask Shelley about her, or anything like that. She wants her space, and I'm fine with that. She knows my number if she ever feels like talking again.

It's finally started to sink in that we're apart. On the way in from DDR, walking across the neighbor's lawn, I kind of whispered "I miss you", and started crying. That was fun. At this point, I just feel lost. I don't know what's going on - I was depressed before we broke up, but this doesn't help at all.

I will see you again in a place where no shadows fall

And by "we're gonna hang out", I mean, "we're not gonna hang out". I got in my car and started heading over, but he called and let me know he didn't have his PS2 with him. I was gonna show him Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, so I asked him if he wanted to come over here. That sounded cool, so I headed home. He called back a little later and let me know that he was slightly intoxicated, and that he wouldn't feel comfortable heading over.

Odd, but okay.

So I played Ogre Battle 64 for about 10 minutes, then fell asleep. Woke up this morning, feeling like shit. I have a terrible headache, my nose is stuffed up,

(She just logged on.)

my throat burns like a bitch whenever I try to swallow anything (and I can't really get any liquids down), I feel nauseous, and whenever I stand up or move around a little, I get really dizzy.

What's even better is that as I was lying here, cataloging my ails, my ankle started throbbing. Not terribly bad, just a little reminder of the two times I've bashed my ankle on the bar doing Afronova Primevil on doubles/heavy. It's like when you have a cartoon character carrying a really heavy load across a bridge, and a butterfly lands on it and breaks it.

I have to go to work at 5, and it's not gonna be a terribly fun shift. I've got Johnson and Patterson fountaining. I don't like Adam, though Jess and I get along fairly well now. I think it's Lacy and Kenny carhopping. Eh. And Freddie and Frank in the kitchen, with Frank off early. So yeah, that'll be fun.

So back to Thursday night. I woke up and called Javi, and found out that Rudy was going to stay for Dennis, and I didn't need to come in. Checked my messages, and Cullen had called about going to do something this evening, perhaps even play DDR. That sounded great - I could definitely use the chance to work out a lot of negative emotion that's been building up. I've been depressed for a couple weeks now - probably about a week and a half to two weeks before Lilie and I broke up. So we agreed to head out 'bout 9 or so.

Picked him up, and we were off. Half an hour later, we were at Le Fun, dancing our asses off. Well, not really dancing per se, but stepping on a metal pad with plastic squares with colorful arrows in time to some music, and matching the arrows on the screen. Or something like that. Overall, we had a great time. It was just us for a bit, then other people started showing up. I mean, there were other people playing DDR. I haven't seen that in a while. It's always good to see other people playing - it's popularity has definitely waned, but it's still going strong. There was this one little posse of Mexicans. Now, I don't have any problems with people of any given race, just because they're of that race. It's just unfortunate that I tend to run into a lot of bad examples of Mexican people. I knew a lot of great ones back in high school, but ever since... anyway. It was just one guy playing with the other like five people watching, while I was playing Raiden Fighters, which is a great game. Eventually, I got up and did Exotic Ethnic, My Summer Love, and Healing Vision (Angelic Mix). Cullen had left to go to the bathroom, and I went to see if he was back between my second and third songs. Extreme has a 80 second timer between songs, so I had plenty of time. Of course, one of the guys in the posse tried to jack my game while I was away. Got that straightened out easily enough. They gave me a wide berth after that. Felt good - I hadn't smacked down anyone in a while, since Diversions.

Later, there was a group of five - not in a single group, but just five other people playing. There were these two girls, some random guy, and a couple. The two girls were okay - low Medium type stuff; the guy was okay too. He was having problems with the 7th mix pad sticking, and came over to me while I was chilling on the left pad on the 5th mix machine while Cullen was doing his thing on the right pad, and asked me, "How do you get the pad to acknowledge that you're stepping on it?" I explained to him about the pads sticking. It was weird, though, because at first, I thought it was Cullen asking me, and I was kinda confused.

So they all left, except for the weird guy who kept playing on the Max 2 machine. A decent crowd gathered around the 5th mix machine - which definitely has the best pads. There were these two Asian guys, but only one of them was playing; the other guy seemed to be... moral support? There was a blonde guy wearing a bracelet, and his friend; again, only the blonde guy was playing. He was really good, too - he could definitely kick my ass at PA, though I'd like to see who'd win in a doubles face-off. There was a group of three - two girls and a guy; again, the guy wasn't playing. Then, there was Cullen and me. None of us really talked to each other beyond "Hey, who's next?" It was nice - haven't really played with a crowd since Diversions, though this one didn't have quite the same socializing, which would have been nice. It's always good to see a lot of people playing, though - DDR's popularity has waned lately, so these groups give me hope.

The two girls were really good - they were playing on Manic, and passing just about everything they tried. They didn't really do anything terribly hard - mainly 7 footers and lower, but, well... it was nice to watch. They both had decent racks, and DDR, with the sprinting-like motion and jumping up and down tends to... amplify (?) female attributes. (People tend to think that because I'm so timid about sex, and never really make moves on girls, nor really try to intensify physical relationships, that I'm also unaware of sexual attributes of females around me. They're wrong.)

It made me sad, though - by the time it was my turn and I was going to do doubles, they weren't really there anymore. I'm such an attention whore, and I was going to try Afronova Primevil, which I still haven't been able to pass on doubles/heavy. By the time I got to my third song, though, some of them were back. So, I went for it - it probably didn't help that Drop Out was my first song. I got further then I have before, but didn't manage to pass. I was on the last 8th note run, though. Close. So, it went back down to just Cullen and I as time went on. I was starting to get kinda tired, and he hadn't played in a month or so, since he hurt his back or something. The evening started winding down, when we had one final player - some chick with some really weird hair - the lower end was this really, really blue color, and the upper half was... white? She was telling the guy she was with how she used to play DDR. I went for my last attempt at Afronova Primevil, but accidentally activated 'Little" mode as I was pacing during the pre-song countdown. "Little" mode is where there's only quarter notes - notes on the beat. It's a holdover from very early versions of DDR where, when playing with two players, they couldn't choose different difficulty levels. So that was fairly unimpressive. Hey, I passed it though. Tried again a little later, but couldn't pull it off. I think I was just tired, though. I think I'll be able to do it the next time I try.

So it was between 2 and 3 at this point, and I had to open on Friday, so we headed out. That, and we'd been playing DDR for something like 5 hours, give or take. It sucked, 'cause it was still fairly warm outside, and starting to get a little humid. It was New Year's Eve, and it was cooler inside the arcade than outside. Anyway. We had a blast on the way home, cracking each other up as we talked about a lot of things - Red vs Blue, Penny Arcade, Transformers, just the whole gamut of stuff. I dropped him off, and I was feeling great. The evening had definitely been a success at turning my mood around.

Of course, the higher the mountain, the harder the fall. I'd keep going, but it's past 4 o'clock (I've been going back and forth between writing a little and sleeping, as this sickness has left me feeling a little weak), and I've got to go do the dishes before heading in, *and* we're about to run out of myriad things - lettuce, tater tots, popcorn chicken, shredded cheese, ranch, etc., and I'm going to go get a case of popcorn chicken and half a case of ranch from Buda. So that'll be fun. I'll talk about that evening, New Year's Eve, and how I feel about Lilie later (hint: I miss her, 'cause we haven't talked at all since we broke up, nor have we seen each other. That, and I'm worried about her mental state of being. And that should be in reverse order, 'cause I'm more worried about her than I am about us. Or something like that.)

And it's just like honey

That post was originally supposed to be a little longer. I started it when I got home, but fell asleep almost immediately after. I went ahead and just hit 'publish', and will put what I had in the previous post into this one. Or rather, what I meant to have. Or something like that.

But we just got pizza delivered. Janelle said something about that when I first got home, but I wasn't really listening - I was probably going to go in around 7 or 8, since it sounded like Dennis wasn't going to show up. However, Rudy stayed, so I don't have to. She didn't mention that she was ordering from Domino's. Or if she did, she didn't realize I was asleep, or close enough, not to hear her.

Anyway.

I was in that almost-asleep phase I was talking about earlier when she came in and asked me who Lilie delivers pizza for. It took me a few seconds to come back to reality enough to make sense of her question, but answered quickly enough, 'Domino's.' Turns out, she had delivered our pizza. Heh. Janelle said she looked familiar at first, then she recognized her, and that she said something about being startled or something. I was basically asleep the whole time.

Let's see if I can do a quick round-up of today. Had a manager meeting with Todd. That was fun - I'm starting to like Todd. He's a cool guy who knows the realities of working at Sonic. After that, went to GameStop, 'cause Javi told me they're having this sale - buy 2 used games, get 1 free. Saw Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber when I went in, which I immediately grabbed - I've been looking for that game basically since it came out, and if asked, couldn't offer actual proof that it existed. Until now. I wanted to get Final Fantasy Anthology, which has FF V and FF VI on it, but they didn't have it. Ended up grabbing Vandal Hearts II and Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits. They had Front Mission 4, but I've already beaten that, else I would have grabbed it. Started heading home, when Freddie called to make sure I was still giving him a ride to work at 5 (it was after 10 'til). I had completely forgotten about it, but was fairly close to his house, so I pulled a massive U-turn through town and got there in record time. Got him to work, got home. On the way home, I went into a major funk. I mean, I've been in a funk since... well, since probably a week before Christmas or so, and the Lilie split didn't exactly help. But I was near tears, which was what I was talking about in my earlier post. I would have been in tears, but I have a tendency to just get really close to tears - to the point of my eyes getting watery, without actually crying. Anyway, I was like that for a little bit, then fell asleep.

Woke up as described above, to the news that Lilie had been here within the last five minutes or so with pizza. Checked my phone and saw that Cullen had called about doing something tonight. I called Sonic to see if Javi needed me come in, but Rudy was going to stay, since Dave wasn't coming in. That cleared my dance card for the evening, so Cullen and I are leaving in about an hour to go play some DDR. Which is good, because I definitely have some negative emotion to work out. I don't think this will help *that much*, but it will help. I miss the 3 times a week, several hours a day I had going on during school, but that'll resume in a couple of weeks, and this will do for now.

Oh, fishsticks

I was supposed to work 5 - C tonight. Turns out Rudy took Bruce's 6 - C foutain shift, and even offered to stay for me. At first, I wasn't even considering it - I've been struggling to pick up hours as it is. Then I realized how I've been feeling lately, and that this would give me a chance to go play DDR. I was about to last night, but I didn't have the energy. But things have gotten, well, I want to say worse. But not worse, just different? I don't really know. I'm going to go to Austin and get my mind off of things for a bit. It'll be good for me, I think. As soon as I'm done watching this episode of Rocko's Modern Life (they've finally started finishing). Cullen can't come, 'cause he hurt his back, and I don't know how to get ahold of Brian, so it looks like I'll be flying solo this time. It really sucks, though, because the 7th and 8th mix machines aren't quite working that well at Le Fun, which leaves the 5th mix. Which is almost okay, since it has a lot of stuff that's not on the 8th mix on campus. The drive almost isn't worth it, though. Especially solo.

I think my class moved without telling me

My internet connection is really starting to bother me. It works great for half an hour or so, then goes out for an hour or so. It's really bothering me, especially when I'm playing Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne, or trying to do something on gEngine, or really, anything else that you use the 'net for. I sent an email to Grande; let's see what they say.

I went to go to Prob/Stat today, and it wasn't there. Literally. I was at the right classroom at the right time on the right day, but there was some other class meeting. College Algebra, if I read their textbooks right. I guess he announced that they'd be moving somewhere else in class, and not anywhere else - course website, email, anything. I just emailed him to find out what's going on.

School/Sightings: Saw Lorraine at the quad. Didn't talk to her or anything. She had her daughter with her, which was weird. I'm not used to the idea of my friends having kids. I was surprised she had one, to be honest. Mary Alls? No surprise. Saw April Moreno as well, who, when I called her name, came over and gave me a big hug. She's still tiny. Or rather, really short, with a pleasant build. Still very animated, very talkative, good time talking to her. Played a ton of DDR, some with Cullen. Passed some hard stuff, did pretty good. Talked to some girl for a little bit about the game; she passes by and sees me playing occasionally. Or something like that. Nothing of any consequence, anyhow; we didn't even exchange games (and I swear I'll maul anyone who suggests I attempt to follow up that conversation). Went by OSFA and straightened out what was going on with my loan; it's good to have that cleared up.

I was standing in line at the smoothie place, getting a smoothie (I wanted to see Cullen in action; he works there now), and there were these two girls behind me. I couldn't help overhearing parts of their conversation, as they were talking fairly loudly, and I tend to pick up on most ambient noise, especially speech, around me. They were confused about some sorority/fraternity abbreviations. The guy behind them knew, and he explained it to them. He then tried to... I'm not sure. Pick them up? Establish a strong connection, to add to his social network? I'm not sure. But I'd rather be completely socially isolated, as I am now (with a few exceptions) then make such a total goober of myself, as he did. I hate watching guys make complete idiots of themselves like that. I need to clarify that - I'm all for making an idiot and/or ass of myself. But not like that. It's... hard to explain.

Long time followers of my personal life will not be suprised at the outcome of my evening with Katie

It didn't happen. Nope.

So I came home from work, after talking with Rose on the drive home. Everything's going fine so far. I shower, do the dishes, clean up, clean out my truck (not in this order, of course), and get ready to leave. I even burn two new CDs; one is a dance mix, and the other is a compilation of the all the Reel Big Fish, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Squirrel Nut Zippers songs I have so far, with Sing Sing Sing and You're the Boss thrown in for good measure.

I go to start my truck... it over-revs, and when I take the key out, it keeps trying to start. This is seriously bad (it's raining fairly heavily at this pint, as well). I call Jerry, and he tells me it's a short in the starter, and to disconnect the battery cable from the terminal. I do so, and it stops. He then tells me to get underneath the engine and (I'm not kidding at all here) hit the starter with a hammer. I do so, to no avail. I had the cell phone with me a little under the truck, as I was trying to find the starter and he was helping me. It got a little wet, but I didn't think anything of it. I, on the other hand, got *very* wet. My shirt and shorts were just soaked.

I finally called Rose to let her know what was going on. I also let her know that Janelle wouldn't let me borrow her car, and that Mom wouldn't be home for a while, and probably wouldn't let me borrow her car either. She said she'd start looking for another ride. I resumed banging on the starter; no effect.

Rose and I talked a little later; Zack Scofield said he'd give them a ride, but it would cause some delays. It was really funny - Katie, upon learning that Zack was going to be their ride, wasn't sure if she wanted to go. She was like, "Well, I'm really tired, I think I'm just going to go back to my house then." (I finally got the story out of Rose as well - apparently, Katie asked them if I was going to be driving back here, then back to San Antonio, or what while they were at the concert, and Rose told her that she was fairly sure I'd be remaining in San Antonio; Katie then asked if Rose thought I'd like some company. Rose was like, I'm fairly sure he would. We were all four going to pile into my cab for the rides, and Katie and I were going to hang out in SA during the concert. This is the second time we were going to hang out, just the two of us, at her instigation, that's been cancelled). So in a weird, preverse way, that makes me feel better - she didn't just want to go to San Antonio and hang out, she wanted to hang out with me. Damn. Zack, upon hearing Katie wasn't going to go, was like, "Well, what am I going to do, then?" It was a funny little moment, and I think Rose got Katie to go anyway to help salvage the situatin. I'll have to talk to Rose when she gets back.

That was the final conversation with Rose. I really hope they made it to the concert and had a great time. I feel really bad that I wasn't able to take them - it was so very frustrating, having problems AT THAT MOMENT, with them all depending on me and stuff. I think Jerry's coming over tomorrow to fix it or something; I don't know. Janelle's going to give me a ride to work, and I don't know how I'm getting home. We'll see.

But our story doesn't end there. Oh, no. So my phone's acting a little weird; I assume it's due to the water exposure, and let it dry out. I was (and still am) very depressed, so I sat out on the driveway in the rain. I eventually got up and moved to the chair in the garage when I realized Mom would be home soon, and wouldn't be too happy to find me sitting there in the rain. I sat there for a while, then changed into some dry clothes and went to bed (it was like... 6:30 or so at this point). I finally got to sleep when my mom came into the room, saying that Cullen's dad was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. That was... weird, to say the least. The last time a parent's friend called me, it was Stuart's mom while we were playing D&D, and they had to home and couldn't come back. So yeah.

But apparently, Cullen's dad was on his way to pick up Cullen from work (they live out on Hilliard), but couldn't because of some major flooding. He waa asking me if I could go pick up Cullen and take him to a hotel or something. I was like, sure, no prob. Of course I'll help a friend in trouble, especially when it's something minor like just drive around a little. So I go and pick up Cullen; we come back here, he calls his dad, then we have a mini MvC2 and SCII tournament. He beats me in MvC2 4/3, but I destroy him in SCII 3-0, 3-0. Then we go to Target, Sonic, and Motel 6 where he's going to crash for the night.

When I get home, my phone freaks out. It basically lets me know that it's not going to work anymore. This was a shame, because it did survive the three story fall and continue working after that. Michael did have an extra phone, so I called and he let me have it. I sent him a gMail invite when I got home. It works fine now, although I don't have my custom ringtones anymore. That's slightly annoying, but much, much better than being phoneless or having to buy a new one.

This whole thing brings up an two interesting points:

1) If I had gone to San Antonio, what would have happened to Cullen? I'm not sure. So I guess it's good, to an extent, that I wasn't able to go. I'm certainly not going to go into a "Everything happens for a reason" spiel (well, it does - the events leading up to it, obviously). I made a comment about how I felt somewhat cheered up by our hanging out, and Cullen said something about how Katie was a lot cuter than he was. I forget exactly how it went, but it made sense at the time, trust me. Cullen's like Jarrod and I - we understand, agree, and even expect each other to choose girls over friends. Why? The friends will be there tomorrow, but the girl might now, so enjoy that while it lasts. Plus, they're usually a hell of a lot cuter. If I had to make a choice, it'd be pretty difficult. I'm somewhat confident that Cullen would have been taken care of, and he would preferred that I had gone to San Antonio. In his shoes, that's what I would have preferred (and yes, I've been in a very similiar situation). This is now the second time Katie and I had our plans, made at her instigation, to hang out together dashed by cruel, cruel fate. I don't really believe in signs or that sort of thing, just that it's a very annoying pair of coincidences. Those that feel otherwise will point to the Cullen situation as a third coincidence that makes the whole thing being just a random collection of events unlikely. I say: go away before I hurt you.

2) Dagmar lives out on Hilliard. Were they able to pick her up? Cullen's dad tried 1 1/2 to 2 hours later than they would have, so I'm not sure that they would have been caught in the same situation. What about taking her home? I don't think she'll have a problem crashing with Rose or something similar, but it's an interesting little situation. Again, I'll find out later when I talk to Rose.

I've been toying with the idea of calling Katie to find out what happened and how things went. Of course, if she's hanging out with Zack, that might not be the best idea. That, and I'm incredibly awkward on the phone. I feel - not quite sick, but definitely something in the nauseous category - at the mere thought of calling her. But I think I will.

Looking at the concert info, this is his last concert, or something to that effect:

http://www.sbccenter.net/events/detail.asp?EventID=311&EventDateID=390.

Interesting.

Okay, I'm going to call her.