People, please! This is not the time to remain calm!
[crowd cheers]
If we're to have law and order in this town again, we must go in there and tear that beast from limb to limb!
[crowd cheers]
If we're to feel safe sleeping in our beds tonight, we must strike this evil from our village.
[crowd cheers]
Think of your children, damnit! At long last, won't you think of the children?
[crowd cheers]
Ed! Ed! You know what I'm talking about. I mean, I mean... Ed, Ed, can you honestly go home tonight and can you say to your little Sally, "No Sally, I didn't kill the monster. I didn't kill him at all. In fact, he's probably going to come in here tonight while you're sleeping and devour you whole!" Can you say that Ed?
[crowd: No! Kill him! Kill the monster!]
That's right, kill the monster! I mean, think about it. How long's it been since we killed a monster, anyway? I mean, I mean, that's right, 'bout eight weeks ago, give or take, that was just Evan's two-headed goat and I mean, we all got riled up, we all got all worked up, "Oh, it's the beast. It's the demon-spawn." Let's face it. Let's face it. That thing just bleated and soiled itself while we bludgeoned it to death. That thing in there...
[crowd cheers]
I've been in there, folks. It's twenty feet tall, it breathes fire, it picks its teeth with our babies' bones. That's a monster we can be proud to tear apart!
[crowd cheers]
I mean, that's a lot better than a two-headed goat or enormous suspiciously colored squirrel.
[crowd cheers]
Exactly!
[crowd cheers]
So as the law in these parts, I say it is your civic duty to forgo all reason and due process and got yourself into a frenzy, and in fact, if Proposition 831 passes...
[crowd chants: Frenzy!]
All right! That's what I wanted to hear.
[crowd cheers]
In fact, if Proposition 831 passes...
[crowd: And it should!]
It'll be enough to get you out of a year of jury duty to form a monster-killing mob and participate in the slaughter of a beast like that one!
[crowd cheers]
So let's [something something]!
[crowd cheers]
[crowd chants: Kill!]
No comments:
Post a Comment