This is kinda funny

So I deleted my three characters (12 Warlock, 14 Hunter, and 19 Mage) on Feathermoon; sold all their Soulbound stuff and sent the money and assorted stuff (metal bars, malachite, shadow gems, etc.) to one of Lilie's characters (since I don't really know anyone else on that server anyway). So I'm going to start on a new server. Why? Well... it's complicated. Basically, I'm a compulsive person, and late at night, I succumb to weakness. If the opurtunity is there, I'll take it. So, if I have a character on Feathermoon, I'll log on and see if she's on. Stalker-y? A little, but hey, I really like this girl. So I have to do this now, so that a week from now, when I desperately want to talk to her, but I'm not over her at all, it'll be that much harder to do so.

Man, that doesn't make any sense at all.

This whole thing is very odd for me, because I've always followed my heart, went with what 'felt right.' But in this case, what feels right is not, in fact, the best path. So my heart and brain are at war, and my heart isn't used to being opposed.

I just want to stop hurting. Though, I wouldn't let go of the good memories to stop it. That's not something I'm willing to give up. Maybe that's my problem.

In retrospect, Lilie has had such a huge influence on my WoW experience. She introduced me to Autumn Weave. Without them, I daresay I would barely know anyone in there at all (well, save for some of my RL friends, which I've discussed in previous posts why that's a moot point.) I'm learning that my social problems extend to the online realm, so I doubt I'll meet many people playing (aside from grouping for elite quests, I haven't met anyone online so far. And none of those associations created during those groupings lasted much longer than the group itself did.) I might stop playing for a while as well. Not sure on that one. I should elaborate on that one. I don't feel at all like I'm playing an MMO. Given my experience so far, this could just as easily be a console based, single player RPG. And yes, I'm sure it's my fault, as is my isolation in real life as well. I've been down this road a thousand times with Heather and Rose both, and heard all the advice I think there is in the entire world on the topic.

Again, I just feel so cast adrift right now. It's... disconcerting.