That lasted about two minutes. I returned to my previously depressed state of being fairly quickly driving down Hilliard. I don't know why... it probably didn't help that 1000 Words came on, which is a song that now has significant meaning to me - and if anyone laughs at that, I swear I'll smack you.
Anyway.
I still haven't pinned down the original cause of my depression, but separating from Lilie definitely didn't help. So I came home and played some, but had to open. I crashed for about an hour, then went off to work. Nothing really of note there. Well, except we got in a Coke order and a truck, I had to put up both of them, and had to cut a crapload of onions since no one else had been cutting them. Adam came in as the secondary manager, followed by Dave. It was really slow for lunch, but things got really, really busy about 2 or so. I had to stay until almost 4, which sucked. I got home and fell asleep.
I volunteered to go in that evening about an hour before close and help do the money and stuff so that Javi could do the changeover without having to worry about that, and he wouldn't have to be there forever. The problem is that we were supposed to close at 11, but we ended up closing at 10. I had hoped we'd be closing at 11, so I'd still be there doing the deposit at midnight. Even that plan was ruined, since we were slow enough that Dave told us to close an hour early. Got out of there about 11:20 or so, came home. Mom was at Cheatham Street and Janelle was at a party, so I was just hanging here at the big hour. I think I was talking to Heather online at midnight, nothing special. Mom called about 1 and told me that her and Jerry were at All-Niter Diner and would love to have me join them, so I did. We had a nice meal. One note - I was parked right in front, on like the second parking spot on that street. As I was climbing back into my truck and getting situated, I saw a small red car come flying around that corner. Habitually, I looked at it - sure enough, it had a Domino's thing on the top, a hood that wouldn't close... yep, it was her.
And here I thought I wasn't going to see anyone special on New Year's.
Went home and crashed. Worked 5 - close that night. Shelley was back from wherever the hel she was (South Padre) and was fountaining that night with Allison. I was supposed to have Pedro, Rick, and Freddie cooking, but Freddie was really sick and called in. Pedro was supposed to be off at 9, but he stayed and closed. Rick didn't come in 'til 8, so I spent most of my time in the kitchen. Shelley annoyed the fucking hell out of me. She is very defensive about being criticized - I told her I had to review some items on her Star Guides (don't ask), and she made some comment a little later about "Hold on, I have to finish listening to Billy tell me what a complete idiot I am" or something like that. We didn't get along very well. Then she shows up on 31, and Shelley went out and talked to her for a bit. She returned a little bit later with some food for Shelley. Nothing really else of note happened that night. Well, except when she showed up to give Shelley a ride home. She parked on 4. I was sitting in the manager chair, and it's unfortunate that whenever you look up from the computer, you're pretty much looking at 4. So I had the joy of looking up as I was counting and seeing her car head-on a few times. That was fun.
Sunday, worked 5 - C again, but I've pretty much covered that. Got Chelsea to fountain for me tonight, 'cause there was no way I was going to go in tonight. Had an interesting conversation with Jess, though:
| just_jess_from_smt: Kristin came in tonight just_jess_from_smt: shes back mr_binky_the_jackalope: Montalvo? mr_binky_the_jackalope: To work? just_jess_from_smt: yep just_jess_from_smt: just to say hi just_jess_from_smt: chelseas turning 18 the 12th, theyre all excited mr_binky_the_jackalope: Exciting just_jess_from_smt: she wanted to see you mr_binky_the_jackalope: Kristin? just_jess_from_smt: hadnt heard about Lilie mr_binky_the_jackalope: Did you tell her? just_jess_from_smt: yeah just_jess_from_smt: no just_jess_from_smt: chelsea did mr_binky_the_jackalope: I didn't know Chelsea pays attention to my social life just_jess_from_smt: maybe it was Lacey mr_binky_the_jackalope: Either way, what'd she say? just_jess_from_smt: she was very happy mr_binky_the_jackalope: What? just_jess_from_smt: she was happy mr_binky_the_jackalope: Kristen was? just_jess_from_smt: yes mr_binky_the_jackalope: When Lacey and/or Chelsea told her that Lilie and I aren't together anymore? mr_binky_the_jackalope: Or to be back? just_jess_from_smt: yep just_jess_from_smt: you mr_binky_the_jackalope: ... mr_binky_the_jackalope: odd |
Form your own opinion. Went to dinner with Mom and Janelle at Katy Station, since she won a gift certificate there a while back in a band auction or somesuch. After that, Janelle and I went to Best Buy (got Final Fantasy Anthologies, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (both full extended editions)), and Blockbuster. Apparently, Blockbuster doesn't charge late fees anymore. The catch, however, is that if you don't return it by the 7th day it's due back, the full retail price is automatically charged to your account, and congratulations, you've bought yourself whatever it is you've kept. So anyway...
I miss her. We haven't talked since we broke up. I haven't called her, for a couple reasons. She said she wanted space, to be left alone, etc., so I'm respecting that. Also, and both her and Shelley have experienced this, I'm really awkward on the phone and don't know what to say. I usually only call people if I have a specific reason for calling, else, I just don't know what to say and tend to get really quiet. There are a few exceptions to this - Rose and I can talk for hours, but that's 'cause she talks a lot - but for the most part, I tend to avoid the phone. Mom and I had an argument last night, so I got some flowers on the way home from work - a big vase of yellow roses, Mom's favorite flower (lucky choice on my part). She came out this morning, saw them, and though that I had bought them for Lilie. Which isn't a bad idea, except for the reasons noted above. That's really why I haven't tried to call her, or leave some flowers by her door, or ask Shelley about her, or anything like that. She wants her space, and I'm fine with that. She knows my number if she ever feels like talking again.
It's finally started to sink in that we're apart. On the way in from DDR, walking across the neighbor's lawn, I kind of whispered "I miss you", and started crying. That was fun. At this point, I just feel lost. I don't know what's going on - I was depressed before we broke up, but this doesn't help at all.
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