Your body and your soul

There are things that frustrate me much more than others. For example, I hate being ignored, having uncertainty, and being led along. In the context of my current job search, I feel that I'm experiencing all of those, and that all three are somewhat similiar.

I had my second interview at the HEB Distribution Center on Friday, September 22nd. Near the end of the interview, Lisa, the supervisor conducting the interview, said something along the lines of "At this point, if I wasn't going to approve you, I would stop the interview. However, I'm approving you, and at this point, we're going to go on a short tour of the facility." After the tour, she told me the Director (?) of HR was out of town, since he handled operations for both San Marcos and San Antonio; otherwise, he'd review and approve my application then, and I could go take my drug test. However, since he was out of town, I'd have to wait for him to get back, and that I should be receiving a call Monday or Tuesday. She also mentioned, at another point in the interview, that they did Orientation on Tuesdays, and that they had a rather large one scheduled for Tuesday as well (tangental, but it comes into play slightly later.) I asked her whether I'd be receiving a call if, for whatever reason, they denied my application at that point; she said yes, I would.

I waited anxiously Monday and Tuesday; there was no call. I figured that they might have a lot to deal with with the large orientation and have a lot of stuff to process, so I gave them Wednesday as well. Still no call. I looked up their number Thursday morning and gave them a call. I explained my situation to the lady on the other end; she asked me if I had taken my drug test yet. I told her that I was told to wait on the call to get approved so that I *could* go do that. She told me to just wait a few more days.

Here we are Tuesday, October 3rd. I was supposed to get a call, approved or denied, a week ago. I've been trying to call them, but there hasn't been any answer whatsoever to my calls. It's REALLY frustrating. I mean, if I'm being denied, I don't mind, but I'd like to know. That's why I made a specific point of asking my interviewer whether I'd be still be called should I be denied, and she answered both definitely and affirmatively. It makes me a little hesitant to apply at other places, when I'm already this far into the interviewing process there, when it's such a good job, and I seem to be making good progress towards obtaining it. I don't mind rejection so much as I detest not knowing what's going on. They gave me the timetable of when to expect a call, so I don't feel it's entirely unreasonable of me to expect them to adhere to that timetable, especially with the leeway I've already given them. Certainly, they expect punctuality of their employees, shouldn't they exhibit it? It's somewhat similiar to the issues Lilie and I have had. She (for lack of a better way to put it) led me on through refusing to reject me. I hesitate to put it on those terms, for they tend to cast the blame entirely on her, when I certainly bear a share of it as well, for allowing myself to be led on. It also harkens back to the conversation(s) we had concerning lying now to spare someone pain, versus the pain that comes later upon discovering the lie. It's just a total lack of respect, and that's not a word I use very often, and I feel is somewhat over-used in a lot of situations.

I'm also two interviews into the overnight stocking position at Wal-Mart, which has also been... interesting. Testing, perhaps. I received a call about four days ago, on Thursday, concerning the position, and told to come to the layaway department at 1 pm on Friday and ask for Trish.

I did.

There seemed to be a lot of confusion, and I overheard someone saying "Well, I'm still at lunch." So I ended up waiting about half an hour. Now, I don't mind waiting half an hour - I'm a patient person. I understand things take time, that unexpected delays crop up, that certain things can't wait while others can. I kept getting asked if I was waiting for someone, if I'd been helped, and each time, I told them what I knew so far. Eventually, someone asked, and it came out that someone else was conducting my interview. So, I finally got in and got to do it. Ten minutes, total. It was just a bunch of questions concerning my actions in various situations, phrased very neutrally. Some of them, I'd already encountered in the interviews at HEB, some, I hadn't. After he was done, he told me that he was taking this to (someone) and that they'd review it, and in a few minutes, he'd come let me know if my next interview was about to take place, or would be tomorrow. I went back out and sat down; he came out within about two minutes and told me to come back Monday at 1, ask for Trish.

So I did.

I was told she was supposed to come in at seven, but she hadn't been there all day. So I sat and waited; my interview would be conducted by Louis (I don't recall the person who conducted my first interview.) Basically the exact same as the first interview, same style of questions, if a few less this time around. He seemed satisfied with all of my answers, I guess; he said that the next person I needed to talk to was in a meeting, and if I could wait outside, they'd be with me shortly. So I waited. It was about forty-five minutes before the first interview, so it was around 2 at this point.

3 o'clock rolls around, the person working the layaway counter asks me what's going on; I tell her; she goes to find out what's going on on my behalf. She comes back out and tells that they're still in a meeting, and I can leave, and they'll call me.

So at this point, I'm waiting on calls from two different companies, both of whom are fairly large, and I'd expect to have better systems in place for handling this kind of thing. It's rather demeaning to be told to come in at a certain time for an interview, and have to wait forty-five minutes. Now, I should clarify that. I'm patient. I don't mind waiting in long lines, waiting my turn, waiting through delays. But none of those waits had to do with people in front of me. They told me to be there at that time. Meetings run on, I understand that. Forty-five minutes? I guess I just HATE being told to wait on a call. It really plays to my insecurity - when someone tells me that they're going to call me, I have trouble believing them. Isn't that a line used by someone being pursued by someone else that they don't want attention from? "Can I have your number?" "No, I'll call you." It's the uncertainty, the waiting, that also gets to me. I'd hate to apply somewhere else, be accepted, start going through the process there, then get called back from the previous job, one I'd much prefer, and have to bail on the second one. I don't like doing that.

Now, I understand about putting in an application and never hearing back concerning it - that was the standard method of rejection at both places I've worked, and I understand it. We receive so many applications, it'd be a huge pain in the ass to call back every one and reject them, then have to listen to them asking why. I feel that that's a different situation, though, since in both of these that I'm talking about, they called me back, I've gone through two interviews, and they told me, and I quote, "We'll call you." It always amused me when people would call either place and ask "about the status of my application." I always wanted to tell them if we wanted them, we'd call them, because that was the case. Calling back didn't help at all. So I don't know why I'm calling back HEB repeatedly - they're not answering today at all, for whatever reason - except that they told me they'd call, and I want to know why they haven't. What worries me the most is that they intended to hire me, but misplaced my file, or think that they've called, and are waiting on me. I'm ready to do whatever I need to to expedite the process as soon as they provide me with the necessary information on what I need to do. (Just tried calling them again, no response.)

It's really frustrating. False modesty aside, I'm a hard worker. I'm punctual, I enjoy working long shifts, I don't begrudge the time spent at work, nor do I view it as an onerous burden placed upon me. I *want* to work, to have a job. I've heard "If you can't find work, you're not looking hard enough" tossed around, and I certainly tend to agree with it. It's just driving me nuts, seeming to do well in interviews, being told to expect a call-back, when it doesn't come. I hate calling them, because I know from my experience that that's not really helpful, though it is in somewhat different situations.

So anyway, what now? Well, I am still waiting to hear back from HEB, which is my first choice, and Wal-Mart, which I guess is my second? Other than that, I've called Corridor Cab, who's looking for weekend drivers, which I can do - I know the town, I have a clean driving record, but I fear the message I left was a little weird; I had some breathing issues, because I was nervous. I'm going to call CRI at one, when they're taking calls for some position or something. I know Aubrey and JD both worked there at one time or another, I think James did too. I'll probably end up picking up an application for Quality Inn as well, they need a front desk person, and I could do that. I remember hanging out with Katie when she was doing it at Red Roof Inn. I wouldn't mind working the overnight on that one, though the pay isn't great. I'll probably end up getting a second job, maybe something part-time, depending on what I get as my primary. With the HEB job, I probably wouldn't have to, though depending on how static or dynamic my schedule was, it would still be a possibility.

Still haven't heard from Chelsea, it'll be interesting to see what she says, *if* she responds, which I'm certainly not taking as a given. That's about the only thing going on in my life other than my search for a job. Haven't talked to Lilie in about a week or so. Well, once, I'm not entirely sure when it was, but it was a fairly short conversation. Haven't talked to Rose in a little longer, except for one conversation where she asked me about a few mods and their location.

Starstylerz -- Keep on Moving