You're my shining star, you're a million miles away

So yeah, I most of this post written out already, but I started playing WoW, and something froze up (Not on my comp. at the moment, long story), I had to restart, and it lost the post.

That sucks.

Lost my appetite for WoW for the moment, so I'll slog through retyping most of this.

In Austin right now. Yeah. Was here last night too, didn't plan on being back until tonight, but a last-hour executive order kind of changed that up. I was woken up this morning by a call from Gina. Apparently, she heard from Regina and Kassandra at the manager's meeting today that I was thinking about quitting. So she decided to call me and get right to the heart of the matter. That's something I highly agree with - not going by rumor, but just finding out for yourself.

So anyway.

I told her I'm in Austin right now, that I didn't know when I'd be back in town. Which is true. I'm kind of hanging out here right know; the aforementioned call was around 3:30 - 4, so it's another late afternoon wake-up. It's anyone's guess about tonight, I haven't decided anything yet, but that's only half of the formation. But yeah. I have to go talk to her as soon as I'm back in town. I don't know how they found out to begin with. There's only a few ways I can think of off the top of my head. It's doubtful, but certainly possible, that they both read my blog. Possible, but VERY doubtful. I'm almost willing to rule that out as a possibility right from the get-go. Eileen might have heard somehow - how, I can't fathom, but bear with me - and told them, but that's also uplausible, for two reasons. First, if she had heard that, I think she would have told Gina about it, instead of just talking to two other GMs about it. Second, I won't flatter myself into thinking that I'm a topic of conversation between my DM and two GMs at other stores in another town. That really only leaves one thing I can think of. I mean, I'm not upset. Well, yeah, I'm upset at the situation, at what's going to have to happen. I never indicated that I wanted it to remain completely private, and I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing in the circumstance.

So yeah, where does that leave me? Not entirely sure. I haven't had a chance to talk to Gina yet, other than the abortive phone call, so I can't really gauge her mood. I think she'll be sympathetic, to a point. I don't know if she'll let me hang on as a part-time driver, or if I'm going to ask. I *still* haven't gone by the Wal-Mart Distribution Center to apply, nor have I started looking for anything else. I've got way too much inertia - especially the 'at-rest' part. I think it's my subconscious aversion to change. Well, at least ambigious change. Most people, I feel, favor good change and dislike bad change. It's ambigiougs, uncertain change that people react to differently. I can't say that I always react to it with aversion, though (I like that word at the moment, prepare for it to be used often). I guess it just depends on my mood. Sometimes, I really like chaotic things, change swirling around too fast to keep up with.

Hell, come to think of it, I have that problem a lot. I have problems filling out personality quizzes - again, my answers vary way too much depending on my mood, which can vary drastically. I mean, I know most people have mood swings, and I don't think mine are particularly noteworthy. Just something I've noticed, something that annoys me from time to time. So anyway.

I'm not entirely sure where I was going with that. I'm kind of, well... not depressed, I don't think. Definitely something negative. Started feeling kind of ansy last night on the way up here, but once I got here, well... hanging out up here has a tendency to supress any negative feelings I might have. At least, for a while.

So I guess I'll have to tell Gina everything, go over the entire speech I've been mentally rehearsing for a while now. It also means I need to find a new job. one that's going to allow me to go back to school. The Distribution Center remains my best chance by a long shot, and it's going to be my first stop. Possibly tomorrow, depending on what happens tonight, definitely Thursday at the latest. After that, I'm not sure.

I just... , I don't know.

Oh, god. That style of typing I just slipped into, yeah... I've been at this screen for too long. I'm just going to go to the other side of the living room, sit in the chair, and watch Law & Order. I don't know how long I'll be here.

Unknown -- Also Unknown