I hide away my fears, hoping no one will come near

Ow.

So I'm ridiculously bored and lonely, and looking for something, anything, to do to keep me from going insane. David is in Denver spending the holidays with his family instead of here, so I'm watching MST3K by myself.

So I've been thinking. Why is it that some people can't find meaningful sex? Some people have sex with plenty of people they think they actually cared about, relationships they acted like they would actually go somewhere. Yet, when a lot of people try to find a relationship, something beyond just normal everyday sex with someone they couldn't give one tenth of one shit about, they can't find it? First, why the hell are they having sex with someone they couldn't give one tenth of one shit about, if they're looking for a close relationship? Are men today just incapable of actual romance? No, I don't think that's it. I think it's that the vast majority of women are, though they'll deny it, cruel, cold-hearted bitches that are not only incredibly self-centered, but want things both ways - proverbially speaking, they want to have their cake and eat it too. Some people find success at first, by hiding those negative traits for a while, and end up scarring the people they're with, giving them enough emotional baggage to make later attempts doomed to failure. That's why the "good ones" get harder and harder to find later on. What's the world coming to?

Anyway, I write this under the effect of a major negative emotional spiral, a huge downswing, and a night of crying, but that doesn't absolve me of any responsibility of what I say. That is all.

Milk, Inc -- Living a Lie