I am the revolution

(Edit: Those post was originally started Thursday morning. It's now Saturday afternoon, and I'm finishing it. I'll mark where I got to on Thursday, to help with that.)

Interesting thing happened to me today.

I got rear-ended.

I'm glad I'm practicing saying this here, as opposed to at work. If I were to say it first in front of Ray or Thompson, it'd turn into a huge continuation of the "Billy *loves* the cock." running gag that we've got going on. But yeah. I was sitting at the light at Holland and RR12, heading out of town. Fairly long line at the light - it was red - slowly inching forward. I inch forward along with everyone else, then stop. I'm sitting there, jamming out to "Love Will Come" by Jam Jameston, when I feel a slight bump. Or think I do. Wasn't quite sure. I look around, didn't hit anything. I look in my rear-view mirror, notice that the car in front of me is close. *Very* close. Next time I pull up a little more, I look at the car again. Sure enough, there's a big circular dent where my bumper tilts down a little. She didn't look too happy. I pulled into the gas station right there, in case she wanted to talk or something. She just drove on.

I laughed.

So yeah, that was semi-intersting.

Lilie and I talked again last night. (If anyone sighs, I'm going to smack them.) I kind of layed it all out for her. She also read all the venting in my blog.

(Note: This is far as I got on Thursday. I'm now switching over to Saturday afternoon).

So yeah, we talked. Had another soul-searching, close conversation while... I was checking her out. Not in a 'look her up and down' type way, but a 'count her money she just turned in and end her shift as a driver, as far as the computer's concerned' type way. But yeah, we talked. A lot. She cried. That made me cry. Later. Well, that, and a few other things. But anyway... I think we've finally got closure on the whole situation. We're just best friends. Best friends that are *very* close, emotionally and physically, but just best friends. She just *can't* do a committed relationship right now, and she's not sure how she feels. I believe that she want(ed)s to, which explains our brief relapse a while back - the two and a half day fiasco. She knows how I feel, I know how she feels, and she knows that if she ever wants to try again, I'll be here. Or there. Or somewhere.

The ambiguity was really hard for me to deal with, but rejection... that's something I'm used to, familiar with, *that*, I can handle. To be fair, though, it's not rejection in the normal sense. She doesn't not like me, she's not in another relationship... we just didn't fit. At least not now. But we're still really close, and I don't think that will change any time soon. Neither one of us is willing to give that up, and there's no reason to. I love her, she loves me.

Things are good.

I s'pose. Work's been interesting, but more on that later. I'd like to actually publish this post.