Headstrong, I'll take you on

I had another dream about Mindy last night. I don't remember all of it, and I'm not sure if it was just really weird, or if I had two dreams. The only bits I can remember involved hanging out with her at Mom's house, then making out in the garage. Intensely. To the point where if an alien that didn't understand the concept had been there, he would have thought, "Gee, those two beings are eating each other's faces." I don't know why I dream about her so often. It's not like I have a bunch of unresolved issues about her (Chelsea) or am still in love with her (Lilie).

After further consideration, I've reach at least a tentative hypothesis. Mindy and I had a very innocent, loving relationship. Well, at least for a while. The second half was nothing but sex and major arguments, but the first part, *especially* before we broke up the third time... it was, well, idyllic. Part of it is that she was just so open. I'm a very, *very* open person, which is why I often feel so cut off from everybody else - there aren't a lot of people around that are that open. And from the beginning, we were *very* open with each other. I can remember one of the first times we ever talked on the phone - for about 4 hours or so - and it was an amazing conversation. I mean, we were basically hooked up by Crystal, when Mindy wanted a boyfriend in high school and Crystal thought I'd be perfect. She wasn't *that* far off, which is why we have the history we do (Mindy and I). So yeah, that first part of the relationship - at least the first six months or so... very open, very warm, very safe. I think that's why I dream about her when I do - in times of confusion, anguish, emotional pain, I subconsciously retreat to the last really warm, safe place I remember.

Well, that's not entirely true. There's one more, much more recently, but it's usually directly related to the problem causing the retreat in the first place, and lasted a much shorter time. So yeah.