Simple and clean is the way you're making me feel tonight

I'm so sad.

Here it was, the opurtunity staring me in the face this whole time. Did I jump on it? No. I debated. I considered. I examined the alternatives, the consequences, the ramifications of my actions. I looked at what effects my decision would have on me and those around me - not just now, but down the road as well.

And finally, finally, I decided to take the plunge, make the commitment, dive in with all of my heart. I opened my arms, my heart, my being...

Only to be rejected for waiting so long. I don't like rejection - well, save those who take a weird masochistic joy in it, I doubt anyone really enjoys rejection.

But I don't either. I felt... abandoned, with no one to blame but myself. If I hadn't waited, I wouldn't have missed out. If I had just gone with my heart's first impulse, which I keep telling myself I do listen to, instead of endlessly debating with myself over the minute details, I wouldn't have to go through the pain I'm going through right now. Being rejected is always hard, but when you had the oppurtunity and squandered it, let it slip through your fingers through inaction... and now, must I wander alone and wonder what could have been? Or will the grey clouds part and let the sunlight through once more?

I'm preparing my umbrella, and leaving my sunscreen at home.