Higher and higher; I'm gonna light your fire

So, skating Monday.

Janelle and I had talked about skating Monday, since it was a holiday and she didn't have school, and her skates had recently come in. I remember Lilie saying she liked to skate as well, so I invited her as well.

We had to clean house first, and Lilie was supposed to work during the day, but she got in an argument with the manager and walked out. We ended up going... I don't really remember when we got there. There was *no one* there. Well, that's not actually true. The staff was there, and I think there were three other people there for about ten - fifteen minutes after we got there. After that, it was just the three of us.

I played PIU first, 'cause, well, even though it's DDR's retarded bastard cousin, it's still a member of the family, no matter how embarrassing. Lilie actually came over and watched, which always makes me nervous and/or self-conscoius. But we did start skating before too long. It was... okay. We even had a free skate in the opposite direction. That's always fun. We held hands while skating a lot, but eventually gave that up, after suffering the dreaded 'slingshot effect' a few times. I finally got to try that thing where two people are holding hands, and one person is skating backwards, and they're holding both hands. Didn't work very well.

One interesting point. We were sitting over on the table, talking about leaving or staying or doing karaoke or what, and somehow, the conversation of being sweaty came up. I mentioned that Lilie hadn't seen me really sweaty (as I get after a few hours of DDR), and she said that she had. It took me a second to realize that she was talking about the time we were naked together in bed, almost going at it. I wouldn't be surprised if Janelle deduced the reference, as well. And that would be funny.

So after that, we went to the LBJ Student Center. I wanted to play some DDR, and she wanted to check out the art supplies at the bookstore. They were closed - it was late, but we realized that it was because it was MLK Day. We started talking about whether or not we've technically had sex. She said that she's including my on her list of people that she's had sex with (and apparently, no one else , not ever her best friend of twenty-something years, knows how long that list is. The only thing she'd tell me is that it's lower than her friend's, which is... um, I think 62. Fair enough.) (For those of you who're curious, my own list is somewhere between 1 and 3, depending on whch circumstances you consider sex. And just saying, "Well, penetration/intercourse is sex." doesn't help clarify the situation at all. More on that later, if I'm in a weird enough mood). Anyway, we went back to the parking lot, and were standing by my truck for a while, engaging in PDA's. Well, sorta. We were hugging. Kinda like we used to in the old days, when we'd stand there with our arms around each other for prolonged periods of time. That's a feeling that I retreat to when I need to re-balance myself and find my center. That lasted for a while, 'til she mentioned that she was cold, and we retreated to the interior of my truck. Oddly enough, though, we didn't drive off, but continued hugging. It was nice. Throughout this, there were instances of the old days - finishing hugging, but still having our arms around each other, and our faces right next to each other. Our faces being close enough together that our lips were almost touching. I mean, I know we're just friends; I think it's finally gotten through that we're apart, that we're probably (Argh!! I can't even bring myself to say this without throwing in a hedge-word. I know why, though. More on that later.) not getting back together, regardless of my feelings for her, or her declared feelings for her.

Then, it happened. She kissed me. I'm sure of it, too - she definitely kissed me. Then I kissed her. Then I kissed her again. Then she kissed me again.

Kinda scary. It lasted a total of maybe thirty seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I hadn't felt that good since... well, before Christmas, to be sure. Reminiscing about it, though, does make me a bit... melancholy. Wistful. Something like that.

Further analysis to come - I've got to go to work. Janelle worked 12 - 5, so I'll get to talk to her about how it went. She actually closed carhop by herself Thursday night, for Ashley. Crazy stuff. Kristin and Katie both said she's really getting it down, doing well. I hope so.