The Centre of the Heart

So yeah, reborn and all that.

Going well.

I meant that post to be longer, but I wasn't going to type it while Lilie was sitting right there. Long story, and we'll get to that later.

So I went over there Monday night and hung out with Shelley. I really do want to be friends with her besides Lilie. It's hard to explain... and I'll come back to that, after I deal with the timeline.

So I told her that Lilie was probably going to be back tomorrow, and she called her. Turns out she broke up with Sean.

I'm going to repeat that, because it bears repeating.

She broke up with him.

Now, I'll admit, that does send a certain amount of joy coursing through my veins. It's not that I bear him any ill-will - far from it; she was happy with him, and that's... well, I'm glad for them. As much as it hurt, I really wanted them to be happy together, and was prepared to lose her completely - I was convinced that, after spending that time together, their commitment freshly renewed, I shouldn't be in the picture. And if things went really well, well, that's something I was ready for as well. And then I heard she broke up with him. That distinction is fairly important. But it was hard to take joy in that kind of event. I'm just empathetic, so I felt bad for him. For both of them, I suppose.

But it did make the next few days something to think about.

So. She got back into town before I got off on Tuesday. It took me a little to get off, and I had to run some stuff to Guadalupe before I could leave. But I finally did. I came home, and Seaquest Season 2 *STILL* wasn't done downloading. It was just waiting on like a few pieces for one file. I swear, the last block of the last piece of the last file took over half an hour. Most annoying. She called twice, wondering if I was coming over. I just wanted to have those for her when she got back. I was originally going to just leave them in her room or something, since I was ready to not see her anymore.

But I finally got over there. I wasn't intending on making a move or attempting to pick up where we left off, but given this... lightening of restrictions. I was just going to be a friend going to see another friend, who haven't seen each other in a week or so, and wanted to make sure she was okay, and what-not. Shelley had told me to wait until she was ready before I did anything, which I intended on doing, but not because she told to, but because I really care for Lilie.

That didn't really work. Ten minutes later, she has me pinned against the door and is wondering why I keep backing off. She said she was ready, so... well, yeah.

And it's been great ever since. Well, except for Shelley, but I'll come back to that. There was always this feeling of... holding back between the two of us, since we both knew what we were doing wasn't really right, and that we shouldn't be. Now, the only reason is gone, and it's very much what we both want, so... yeah.

She's made a few interesting comments - "Was it worth the wait?" "I just like kissing you." "I'm comfortable."

We're not rushing into anything, but I feel fairly confident at this point saying we are, in fact, an item. Of sorts. She did tell me that part of the reason she broke up with Sean was because of me. Which is really scary.

So things are going great.

Except for Shelley. Just to recap, Shelley is a carhop at Sonic who started working there right before Lilie quit. We're friends, basically. Her and Lilie live together now. And she's being a serious bitch.

I don't know why - I mean, I know I can be annoying at times, but I'm really trying to get along well with her, for any number of reasons; amongst them, you never want to be at odds with your girlfriend's roommate. Not that she's my girlfriend just yet (or whatever; I'm not terribly concerned with labels)...

Anyway.

She keeps acting like she doesn't want me there at all, then says that she was just kidding, then tells someone the next day that I just wouldn't leave. That was just in one day (Well, except for the next day bit).

I almost deleted the post I wrote below, when I was under the impression that she deliberately kept the knowledge of Sean's presence from me, when I found out that she didn't. I asked her about it, and she thought I knew. The conversation we had via IM supports this. I really, really didn't. But I didn't delete it; in fact, she even read it while sitting in my room. She didn't hold it against me or anything, which was good. I just figured she deserved to know what I actually said and thought, as opposed to hiding it from her or something.

The juice was worth the squeeze.