How can I look in your eyes when I feel I can fly? I have to run away.

So when we last left our intrepid hero, he was just getting off of work on Sunday. (Warning: PoV shift back to first person).

I was fairly tired, between the back-to-back 8 - 5 shifts, with the non-stop frenzy of school, work, and DDR I've been doing the past two months or so. I pulled up to my street, and noticed in dismay that all of the convenient parking spots were taken. I initially elected to just park right in front of my driveway. I pulled up behind Jerry's truck, when a green truck pulled up right next to me. There were two girls sitting in the cab, waving at me. I didn't hear if they were saying anything; Paul Oakenfield's 'Send Me An Angel' was playing fairly loud. I paused the music, and the driver asked me a simple question - 'Do you recognize me?' 'No.' 'It's me, Mindy.'

I'm going to repeat that, as it bears repeating. 'It's me, Mindy.'

She then went to park so we could talk in slightly more convenient circumstances. I parked across the street, and tried to compile my thoughts and regain my composure while she walked from her truck to mine. I had NO IDEA what to say - this was Mindy. I haven't seen or talked to her in, um, three years? I was fairly certain she wanted nothing more to do with me. So she walks up to my truck - I'm still sitting in the driver's seat. I still can't get over how much she's changed. She was wearing a bikini type thing (I think, she's becoming a little fuzzy - my visual memory was never very strong, especially when it comes to describing people); she's dropped some weight. She was never very big, but she was... not quite thick, but almost. Solid. She's definitely 'thin' now. She's also aged a lot. Well, I guess that's to be expected. The last time I saw her (before this), she was... 14? 15? She's 18 now - that's a major bit of growing up, especially for girls. So both of those combined, she looks *way* different. She was always attractive, but now, even much more so.

We talked a little bit. She asked me what I'd been up, and I told her. 'Nothing.' Seriously, what have I been up to? Nothing. Told her I was at SWT now; still at Sonic, finally an assistant manager. She also asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I briefly mentioned Suzie, but that other than her, there hadn't been anyone else. She told me she saw a 35 year old for a while (2 years) (I guess that's who Rose saw her with that one time in IHOP), but no one else really other than that. She's going to UTSA, studying psychology (I forgot if that was her major or minor, and what the other one was), working full time in San Antonio. She was living in San Antonio, but she's living her right now to help take care of her grandmother, who's sick. She asked for my number, which I gave to her (entered it in my phone herself), and she also asked if I'd like to hang out sometime - go to a movie or something. Care to guess what I said?

If you said 'yes', you are correct. I think that about covers everything. Oh, and at one point (like I said, my memory of the event is fairly fuzzy, and growing more so), she asked, and I quote, 'Can I have a hug?' It felt good. The hug, I mean. Mindy and I clicked. We really did. Granted, our relationship (most of the second half, I think) was marked by a large number of tribulations, but I have a large number of good memories of her. I don't remember much of the fighting, but I do remember the hugs, and the kisses, and the looks of joy and happiness. The feeling of warmth, of love. I just don't know. Heather says I have some decisions to make, and I guess I do. If she ever calls me back, that is. I gave her my number, but failed to ask for hers.

I hope she doesn't construe that as a lack of interest. I was really tired from the 15 hours or so I'd worked, the lack of sleep, and was also in something akin to a low-level state of shock. I really didn't know what to say. I mean, I'm all for resuming contact with her. I'm probably close to her as anyone, save Rose and Jarrod. Being closer to someone you haven't seen in a few years than any current years is... odd. The weird thoughts come when I remember one small fact about Mindy and I. We got back together 8 times. To the best of my recollection, we weren't able to spend more than a little time in each other's company without ending up back together, or well on the way.

So I'm not sure how I feel about this whole situation. Except for one thing - I keep hoping she'll call, and we'll got out and spend some time together. Even if it's just talking, catching up on the past few years. Hypothetically speaking, if things were given the chance of progressing further and it was solely up to me... I just don't know. Things have been so weird lately, I've felt adrift in a lot of ways. My perosnal life has been.. odd. Take Suzie, for example. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet girl. But that's a situation I *never* should have wandered into. If I had been thinking clearer, hadn't been going through such social withdrawal and lonliness, probably would have escaped the whole thing altogether. I'll probably just handle the situation like I do DM'ing a session - deal with it as it comes up. So we'll see.

I was *really* weirded out after that, but strangely exhilerated. So I did the next thing that came to my mind after going in. I called Lilie. We talked for about half an hour. Topics varied. Nothing terribly heavy, but it wasn't all just light-hearted fluff either. Definitely the longest phone conversation I've had with a girl (not counting Rose) in a while. Eventually, though, I told her I had to go, which I did, because I had to shower and do some stuff. Nothing else really of note on Sunday - studying for tests, homework, that kind of thing.

So then came Monday. Which makes sense, I guess. Anyway. Found out the DDR machine was broken Monday morning. It broke my heart. Well, not really, but it was annoying. I was really tired all day and fell asleep in CS. I think the two are related. Took a probability test, which went very well. I got everything right, except two things. First, I misunderstood one question, so I answered it the wrong way. I did right the correct answer down as an aside, so he may give me partial credit or something. That mistake, I can live with. The second is much more annoying: I didn't even see the fourth page. Seriously. Which is endlessly annoying. Luckily, there was only one problem on that page, and an easy one at that, but it really, really annoys me. I would have gotten it completely right, but instead, I'll get no credit for that.

Monday night, went over to Matt and Luke's for D&D. We decided to restart the campaign, so they started building new characters. I'm trying something new - no PrCs, fairly strict die rolling, stuff like that. Consider it an experiement. We'll see how it turns out. They seemed to resist it at first, but I think they'll accept it. Or not. They can always have someone else DM.

Tuesday was my first shift as assistant manager. It went okay. The new shirt didn't prove much of a hindrance, though we'll see how it does in the kitchen tomorrow. (Side note: "Send Me an Angel" just came up on Winamp.) It wasn't that different from what I've been doing, which gives me some encouragement. I definitely didn't have any problems with the crew. I did the deposit and what-not, and that took a while, since Javi had to walk me through it. I counted down the carhops, and two of them were 7 and 12 dollars short. I *hate* it when I have to tell a carhop they're short. It makes me feel really bad, and it's the main issue I have with the job.

I got home about 7 or so, and had chem homework due at 8 - with a 2 hour grace period. So, of course, Lilie calls. Which was really, really cool. That doesn't happen that often. We talked a little, and I invited her to fifty cent night at Showplace. Nothing terribly great was showing, so we went to see the Bourne Supremacy. Next week, Spider-Man 2 and the Village is showing, so I'll end up going to see at least one of them, if not both. Anyway. We went in, and sat down. We both had our feet up on the seats in front of us, and talked a little more. Some girls came and sat down in front of us (there were plenty of empty seats, but they choose the ones in front of us; how annoying). So we had to take our feet down. I actually had mine resting on the arm rest; the girl to the left said it was okay, that it didn't bother her, and I could keep it. She then turned and said that she reocgnized me, and correctly identified me as someone that plays DDR on campus all the time. Apparently, she works at one of the nearby businesses, and sees me all the time. Or something like that. But Lilie couldn't really see over them, so we moved back a row. And put our feet back up on the chairs. We talked a lot, which is cool - I've always been a talker during movies (I got 'shushed' during Catwoman. Seriously.) She did lay her head down on my arm for most of the last third or so, and I kind of lay my head down on hers. Or something like that. I even ventured far enough to play with her hair. A little. Very little. Anyway. After the movie, we loitered in front of the theater for a while (well, we sat in the theater for quite a while after the movie ended, probably twenty minutes or so), talking. Eventualy, we walked to her car, she left, and I went back to my truck and left as well. She might make it Thursday, but might have to work. Friday is anybody's guess - I don't think anybody's going to be there playing, so I don't know. I think we're both off, though.

I'm not sure about us. I think she knows I like her, but first off, I don't know how she feels, and she's never really voluntereed any information on the matter. Maybe I'm supposed to drag it out of her? I've never really known what to do in these situations. Rudy would say this is my chance to avoid being dragged down into the friend zone, if I'm going to do so. I don't think she's dropped any hints or anything, but I'd be the last person to know if she did, so I'm probably not a reliable source of information on that front. We'll see.