So many things to talk about...

I ended up going skating with Katie. She actually gave up a shift to go, which was weird. David totally bailed on me, and Rose... we'll get back to Rose later. So it ended up being just me and her and her cousin, Becca. I followed her to the Millenium Youth Entertainment Center. There was NO ONE there. Well, there were like 2 or 3 little kids there. We skated around for an hour and a half. Or so. She *loves* little kids. She was trying to teach one of them to skate. And we played tag with them as well. I got to show off my mad 1337 skillz. Go me. It was weird, though, being just the three of us (the little kids eventually left). She was suggesting these bizarre games. The rink had basketball court markings; she was like "Okay, so you have to go around the big circle (the jump-off circle in the middle) 10 times, and the little one 5 times, and you have to keep your skate on the circle, and if you fall, you're out." It was... odd. She tried to get me to dance once or twice. At one point, she was like, "Spell your name in the air with your butt." So I told her, "I don't dance." Becaue I don't. I can't. I've tried. I'm SO SICK of people saying things like "Just do this" or "Just do it" or whatever. I KNOW THAT, YOU STUPID PIEICES OF SHIT. I can't. Or don't. Or whatever. I brought my backpack (since we were in Austin, I wanted to go play DDR afterwards); she asked why, and I told her. At one point, she said that they were gonna with me. I said something at some point about how I'm not used to people watching me do things. Well, at least, not people I know. (I'm not really reading this anymore as I type it, so fi there's more typos than normal, that's why).

Eventually, we left and went to Le Fun. I played two games (Can't Stop Falling in Love (Speed Mix), So Deep, Look at Us Baby (by mistake), Cow Girl, one other, and Max 300 (which I still wasn't able to do, but I got further than I have before). They also played one game; they failed in the second song (and it was a MAX2 machine, which automatically passes you on the first song if you play it on light. They left after that, and I stayed and played a few more games, and some Crazy Taxi, which I really like.

I need to clear something up. I know things would never work out between us. I understood that from day one, when I first liked her. I've always understood that. I might say things contrary to that, but I'm just joking around. I'M NOT (THAT) STUPID. I hope she knows that. Apparently, they're going skating again Saturday, when more people will be there, and she invited me to come as well. But I can't, 'cause we only have like 8 cooks, and three of them can't trade with me. Oh well...

Rudy and Ricky are saying that Carrie and I have been flirting with each other, and that perhaps Katie's renewed response to me may be just in response to that. I don't know... I know if I am doing it, I'm sure not doing it on purpose. I mean, Carrie's cool and all, but it's another situation where I know she'd never be interested in me anyway. I'm beginning to realize that's a fairly universal sentiment. Whatever.

I'm in a very "Fuck the world" kinda mood.

I've managed to isolate myself from just about everybody fairly well. Lost touch with just about everybody from high school after graduation. Didn't replace them with anyone from college. There's Heather, but I haven't seen her in... a long time. Probably won't, either, if past trends are any indication. We still talk online... occasionally. Nothing beyond surface echoes in a long time. My fault. David and Barbara? Nope. I don't even know if I'm going to make it to Barbara's birthday party Friday. Rose? Well, I was supposed to give her a ride home from work Saturday night. She never called. Sunday night, she called, but all I heard was "Never mind", then she hung up. I'll let her explain:

mr_binky_the_jackalope: hey Rose: hola Rose: sorry about the call Rose: i'd already told it to call you and vince was like "we'll take you home" mr_binky_the_jackalope: and yesterday? Rose: i got off really early and then we took brenda (vince's 45 year old gf) to get her navel pierced mr_binky_the_jackalope: ... Rose: and you could';ve been in austin playing ddr instead of waiting up for me... and i feel bad <...> mr_binky_the_jackalope: good Rose: good? mr_binky_the_jackalope: yes, good mr_binky_the_jackalope: and i feel bad mr_binky_the_jackalope: Rose: ... and i feel bad Rose: ah Rose: yes, good that i feel bad Rose: had i known i'd get out that early and that we'd be taking brenda, i would've called you and told you to go play

This really pisses me off, for a variety of reasons.

You'll note she never apologized for not calling Saturday night. Apparenlty, I'm not worth a call. Except when a ride is needed. The same thing happened when she called Sunday - I'm not worth enough for her to even explain the short call and abrupt "Never mind?" Right. I'm glad to know I don't warrant a call or ANYTHING. It's like, why bother? I don't think I'm being petty here. And if I am, big fucking deal. I've taken her to Austin three times, and been giving her rides home from work for what, a month now? She's been my closest friend for a while now. And to go and pull this shit? One or other wouldn't have been nearly as bad, but both, back to back? And she's either lying to me, or she was thinking of me, and just didn't call. Either way... it's not good.

SO where does that leave me? Grown distant from one close friend, dissed by the other. I don't know why Katie's still tolerating me, but I doubt it will last much longer. I can still talk to Carrie, but she kind of lives in Kentucky. She did send a very nice picture of her eyes, though. Freddie and I have been talking more, but he's moving back to Houston in a month or three, and we don't really hang out often anyway.

I just feel isolated from the world righ tnow.

Two quick sidenotes: Jerry's back. And Jeff called when I was driving home from work Monday.

<phone rings>
Me: Hello?
Jeff: Hey Will, this is Jeff from Sonic...
<click as I hang up the phone on him>

He called back twice. I hit 'ignore' both times. I don't care if it's immature, juvenile, and petty. It felt GOOD, and right now, there's not a whole lot else going on. I'm very lonely and depressed right now.