Mom still isn't home. It's 3 am now. She should be home. I mean, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself. But she left almost 9 hours ago, and we haven't heard from her at all. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stay up. Janelle went to sleep probably an hour or so ago. Seriously, why does she have a cell phone if she doesn't take it with her for times like this? We can't call her, and she hasn't called us since she left. She did stop in briefly around 5:30 or 6 when I was vacuuming and moping the house; she said she was going to the grocery store. She might have gone to do some last minute Christmas shopping, but Janelle and I thought she had finished that. I just wish she would have called.

There's not much I can do about Mom. However, there is something I can do about Suzie, who I also care about a geat deal.

She's going to be in town tomorrow and Thursday; we're going to hang out tomorrow for a while. I'm going to take her by Rose's house so they can meet. I think they'll get along great, personally, and Rose really wants to meet Suzie. I also turned in my schedule request for next week - Wednesday through Sunday. I hope to leave then, and come back Saturday with Suzie, and spend the whole time with her, in her arms. And in her, if she gets her way ;)

Which brings me to my topic for this evening. When I first started going out with Suzie, I used the phrase "I may have bitten off more than I can chew" several times, and she kept asking me what I meant. Well, I think this is it. We're quite different, but I think it's very evident in the realm of sex. Different expectations, different timelines, different experience, etc. I'm not saying it's a bad thing - differences bring variety and interest into a relationship, and you compliment each other. But this is really staring to show. She's in Galveston for Winter holiday, so we've been talking on the phone a lot. During one conversation, she made several comments about being sexually frustrated, complained about a lack of sex (well, that was through Jonathan on IM, but it was earlier in the day), and.. yeah. During the bowling party, she tried to convince Freddie take my shfit Monday night, and told him that she really needed to get laid, and wanted me to come down there so she could pounce on me (or something to that effect). While we were talking tonight, we actually talked about sex and her horniness at great length. She was talking about her birth control shot, and its effect on her - apparently, it makes her more emotional, tender, and, well, horny. To paraphrase her, it makes her as horny as a "normal" guy (which I fall quite short of, apparently - which I guess is good, because I never wanted to be seen as normal). She made a comment about wishing I had a perverted side - which I do. It was an... interesting conversation. She then had me playing some weird - but fun - game with her, which I believe was an attempt to engage in, well, phone sex, I think. I don't know why I'm so hesitant. I mean, I kinda do - I realized the other night at work that I still see myself as a little kid, even though I'm 21 and a junior in college. That's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to do things like take even a sip of alcohol, even on my birthday, buy beer for other people, and have sex. The Mindy factor can't be discounted, of course. But I love Suzie.

Wow, I said it. Well, I need to say it to her. But yeah.

I WILL NOT lose Suzie for the same reason I lost Mary and Crystal (I mean, overall, I'm better off by far losing those two two weeks and a month into our relationships, respectively, but the circumstances are similiar enough to warrant the comparison). It's such a weird situation. We'll see what happens later today when I pick her up in Wimberley. We might just hang out there and watch a movie or something; although I hope to go by Rose's house as well.

4:18 am, and still no Mom. I'm really tired, and need to get up in the morning to mow, but WHERE IS SHE?