Feels like the crowd is saying

Here it is, my chance to prove that maybe I don't suck at life. Mom's getting some certification through ACC, and Janelle's still in school, so I have two great examples of how to do this whole thing successfully. The only reason I have for failure is myself.

Britney Spears -- Gimme More

My heart is on fire, I have no regrets

Had a weird dream last night (I love blog posts that start off that way). Basically, I drove to North Carolina to surprise Terri (in this dream, she's still living with her family, similar to the situation the second time I drove over there, where they were all in that apartment thing). I got there without incident, and was looking for Terri's window, but I saw Christy's and she let me in and took me to Terri's room. I don't really remember the rest, but I know it wasn't a sex dream. I think Terri led me to a guest room with a couch in it where I'd be sleeping, something like that? I remember her being really thrilled to see me, but I don't think the dream as a whole really means anything.

So in an hour or so, I leave for my last shift before school starts. I got my chemistry book in the mail, so I'm ready in a physical sense. Well, a material sense - I'd like to drop about a hundred pounds to be ready in a physical sense, but I intend to start working on that hardcore as well. I'm off tomorrow, so I have all day to freak out about each and every little thing, that should be fun. Crap! I don't know if I have a spiral ready for note-taking, but between my entire day off tomorrow and the gift Bambi gave me to Colloquim, I should be able to remedy that fairly easily.

Wendy Phillips -- Stay

It makes the truth even more incomprehensible

Two quick notes. First, school starts in two days - well, three for me, since I only have Tue/Thu classes, but whatever - and I'm frickin' scared. I mean, I'm worried that I'll mess it up again. It was never that classes were too hard, or I didn't have enough time, or couldn't manage it well enough, or was too stressed out, or anything like that. I just didn't care. Theoretically, I've fixed that problem, but I won't know that without some empirical evidence. I won't have that for a few weeks. Got my last textbook in the mail today, for Chem. I have everything I need now, just waiting for the big day.

Went by Wal-Mart last night, saw Nolan. Talked to him a little, since he was working aisle seven and I wanted some juice. They were out of my favorite, White Cran/Strawberry, so I had to settle for some strawberry-kiwi (also delicious, certainly). Rebecca saw me and came over (coincidentally, not purposely, because she was doing returns, and worked on her aisle seven returns while we talked), told me that she saw me when I was here the other night and she was on four zoning. I guess that's a good sign? I mean, if she thought I was a creepy bastard who didn't want me to talk to her at all, she wouldn't mention that she saw me? Go me, and all that. Anyway, we talked a bit. She's a vegetarian, which is cool. Sounds like she's been one for a while. She's "not sure" if she's taking classes this semester - I made a comment about her only having like two days left to decide, and she said she was definitely taking classes this summer. That made me feel a little better about my situation, that she's a little less likely to think less of me for being 25, living at home, working at Domino's, and still in school (that last one is actually a plus, basically. I think.)

Anyway, Nolan went off on one of his "Billy the Kid!!" things, even in front of Rebecca. "That's Billy the Kid!" He made some comment about me knowing Rebecca already - "You just know everyone, don't you, Billy the Kid!". Rebecca said "I don't know anyone" kind of quietly, but I don't think it was so quiet that she didn't want anyone to hear it. I ran into her again on the way out, we talked a little bit, she smiled a lot. It made me smile.

Sylver -- Lay Your Love on Me

Seasons don't fear the reaper

So today was an interesting day at work. Nothing really notable until the last hour or so. Fifteen minutes. Whatever.

I get a call from Margaret in Oltorf that they got another call from the Motel 6 in San Marcos (long story). So I take the order, make it, send it out. It ends up being the last order of the night, leaves the store maybe ten minutes before close. Nick takes it out. He calls back a little bit later, saying the guy had wanted to play with his credit card. I was kind of annoyed at the whole situation (It's Motel 6's fault they got key cards from another motel, which their contract explicitly forbids doing, quite possibly for exactly this reason), so I just told Nick to give him the pizza for free.

Nothing terribly weird just yet.

I get a call a few minutes later, we're already closed. It's the front desk lady, apparently, there's a complaint about our driver banging on random doors or something. She's not sure if he's not sure where to deliver to or what, what kind of protocols we have. I'm a little confused at this point - none of our drivers, if the room they were delivering to wasn't right, would just go knocking on random doors, they'd call back to find out what's going on. This was further compounded by the fact that I had *just* talked to Nick, I knew he had found the correct room.

While I'm talking to her, trying to figure out what's going on, a second line rings. I go to tell that person we're closed, and it's the police. They're calling because they received a call from the front desk lady that some people were banging on my driver's car, they were worried about it. He asked me to call my driver by cell if possible, and see if he was okay, and that I could just put him on hold. I get back with the front desk lady, explain that no, our drivers wouldn't just go bang on random doors, and I'll talk to him and find out what's going on.

I go to call Nick, ask him what's up. By the time he picks up, he's pulling back into the store. Guess he got back okay, then. I pick the cop off of hold and let him know that the driver's back safely. That concludes that call.

Nick comes in, lets me know what happened. While he was talking to the guy he was supposed to deliver to, some other guy, drunk as hell, comes out of his room, starts yelling at Nick about if we've got any more pizzas or whatever. Nick tells him that no, we're closed. The dude starts banging on Nick's window - loud enough that it disturbs another guest, two doors down, who comes out to see what's going on (I'm guessing he's the one that called the front desk to lodge a complaint about the whole situation.

Overall, it was just kind of weird. I was picturing a huge group of people, banging on Nick's car, surrounding it and preventing him from driving off or something, like a zombie horror movie or something.

Blue Oyster Cult -- Don't Fear the Reaper

Don't you have somewhere to go?

So I know it's clichè, but what with time being an arbitrary concept and all, New Year's provides just as good a time to reflect as anything. A good time to look back at the last year, see where I am, where I'm going, what's coming up.

Let's start with what happened recently. I worked New Year's Eve, which isn't a big deal. I usually do - last year, the year before that, the year before that, but the year before that, I think I was with Suzie in Galveston. I remember three New Year's ago, when I got off from Sonic, was driving home, Mom called me from All Niter, her and Jerry were there, we sat on the patio and had breakfast. Lilie drove by. Good times. So anyway.

I spent this New Year's making pizzas. Luckily, I wasn't taking an order or anything when the ball dropped (which is my way of saying "Midnight struck"). Just kind of standing there. I was very aware of when it was. Bill and Chris were my closing drivers, but they were both out on runs. They were pretty much running nonstop 'til the end of the night. I got a few calls around midnight - Danielle called, that was awesome. Hadn't really talked to her or anything in quite a while. Danielle and Jenni both called, that was fun. Had a few drunks order some pizza in person, that's always fun. I think part of my aversion to drinking is how very, very much I hate talking to drunk people. I hear it's not so bad when you're also drunk. Whatever.

I went to Wal-Mart after work, picked up some juice and stuff. Of course, Rebecca was my cashier. Good times. She was smiling a lot. I'm not naive enough to think she was smiling because of me, but it was definitely at, and I'll take my victories where I can get them.

[Sidenote: I'm watching "Blonde Ambition" while typing this. Atrocious movie. Jessica Simpson's character is a country bumpkin stuck in the big city. She doesn't know how to ride a bike. I'll let that sink in a for a moment. At least Rachael Leigh Cook is in it. She's awesome. Also, apparently, she did the voice of Tifa Lockhart in most of the Final Fantasy adaptations, post-VII. Good stuff.]

Anyway, it really helped dispel all the bad vibes I got from her on Christmas Eve with Jenni. Moving on. I had to give Rose a ride home the next night, she needed to go to Wal-Mart that night. We spent about fifteen minutes in the hair care aisle, she needed some conditioner without certain chemicals in it. Or something, I don't know. I keep my head shaved. Whatever. We had to go through sporting goods for a thermos or something. For whatever reason, I picked up a baseball bat. I started carrying that around for a while. It's a guy thing. Whatever.

So we took the corner towards electronics, and she's standing there right next to the Guitar Hero demo. Long story short, she's watching electronics during lunch, and the other girl, the one playing very badly in training mode, was on lunch. I felt kind of weird holding on to the bat, but I went with it. Rose kind of took off, went to finish her shopping. The girl playing finished the song, realized the game probably wasn't for her. Rebecca and I talked a little while the other girl (she needs a name if I'm going to bring her up very many more times in this story; 'other girl' and 'that girl' is starting to get a little repetitive). She said something about her brother who 'has like, every video game system ever' and apparently doesn't like girls that much because they talk to much and prevent him from playing his games. Good times. She thinks he might be gay. Or something. She didn't want to play, because her eyes don't focus fast enough. She said something about the doctor telling her she needs to exercise her eyes more, and she's annoyed, because the last thing she wants is another doctor telling her she needs to exercise more. Or something.

[How the F did they get Rachael Leigh Cook for this piece of crap? It's awesomely tragic. Oh, crap, Willie Nelson. He must really like Jessica Simpson, or something.]

So she - that other girl - finishes, and asks Rebecca if she wants to play, so she turns to me and asks me if I want to. I hesitantly accepted. I went with 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot', because I know the song really well. I did 98%-ish. It was great, because my hands were sweaty. I'm a big, big guy, and I like to think I do some physically demanding things - I play racquetball, I play DDR. I sweat a lot during those times, but my hands stay dry. They don't sweat at all. Ever.

But they were sweating the whole time I played the song. I guess that means I was really, really nervous. Which I was. Which means I actually like her.

Crazy.

Moving on.

So I finished the song, put down the guitar, said something to the effect of "That's not really fair, 'cause I play this all the time.", picked up the baseball bat I set down by the demo unit, and walked off. I had no idea what was going on. I found Rose, and we went about our shopping. She asked me where the latex gloves were, so I went and asked Rebecca. We talked a bit.

Oh, I was still holding the baseball bat. It wouldn't be right without it.

We talked a little bit; she told me a story about her boyfriend. I'm still debating the point of the story. It could go any number of ways - maybe she was just making small talk (it was a funny story, after all), or just sharing about her New Year's Eve / life stuff, or, quite possibly,

[Major plot hole. This is what I don't get. If they want Jessica Simpson's character to be that idiot's secretary so they can manipulate her, why are they constantly sabotaging her plans? Wouldn't they want to help her and have her do well, so she would gain his trust and thus be a more valuable asset in their plan? I guess that's what I get for trying to actually follow the plot of a movie that makes fun of Norwegians for no real reason. It's not so much making fun of them, as it is randomly having them do karaoke - 'Baby Got Back', no less - in the most horrendous accents I've ever heard.]

[Oh gosh. Here comes the montage where the small-town girl grows accustomed to her big-city job, but turns her back on her small-town roots. I'm already looking forward to the moment of truth where she decides, momentously, to re-embrace her values.]

or, quite possibly, as a way to remind me that she has a boyfriend. (Of course, best-case is that she was reminding herself, because she was afraid she was forgetting. Probably not, but it's fun to dream.)

Moving on.

We got the gloves, we went home.

So yeah, that was fun.

Now, about reminiscing and stuff.

Let's start with work.

I started the New Year working at Wal-Mart. Literally - as usual, I was working that night. Worked there until early April, when Javi called me and asked me if I wanted to come back to Sonic. Ashley Hopkins lent a lot of credence to that argument, and I walked out. That was fun. What was really, really fun about that was that Ambra had started working there by that point, she was also working that night. Lots of freight, understaffed, all the greatest hits we know and love from working at Wal-Mart.

I started at Sonic a week later. It was, well, interesting. Ashley ended up quitting, so did Javi. I ended up working around seventy hours a week. I didn't mind the hours - one week, I had about ninety hours, that was a nice paycheck. Overall, it was a good turning point - allowed me to build a decent reserve really fast (I moved back home around the same time, worked out well). The problem I had at Sonic? Well, it was two-fold. First, as it often the case with crappy service jobs, everyone there hated working it. Now, the thing about these jobs is that the co-workers often make it bearable. That wasn't the case - they had really, really bad attitudes. I can name a few off the top of my head, but it's really not worth it. The second issue was Bubba. He was cool at first, until I got to know him. Not hiring people, not taking an active hand in his store, underordering, argh. I got sick of it.

Luckily, Sergio called from Domino's and asked me if I wanted to come be an assistant for him, as he had just gotten the store. I thought about it, but I was afraid. I hate big decisions; I seem to always mess them up. Of course, I felt pretty good about that one. I put in my two weeks at Sonic, walked out a week later. I've been working at Domino's ever since. Of course, my work history now goes Sonic - Domino's - Wal-Mart - Sonic - Domino's. Good stuff. There was a two day stint at CRI, which isn't really even worth mentioning (well, except for that).

So, yeah. Been working 40-50 (more like 45, not so much 50 anymore) hours a week there, 5-C five times a week.

There's work.

Living Situation.

Not much to talk about here. I was living at Les Chateaux, but I moved home. It does make me feel kind of a loser and all, being twenty-five, working at Domino's, being completely single, morbidly obese, good times. Of course, I'm working on all of those things. I'm twenty-five and don't have a degree, but I am back in school. I'm funding that with Domino's, and I'm working on my weight. Good stuff. Oh, and I pay rent.

[Holy crap, this movie sucks.]

Social:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Not much to say here. Thankfully, Lilie is no longer a part of my life in any way. Passed her on Thanksgiving, didn't answer when she called. I still think about her occasionally, during depression spirals,

[This scene is actually humorous.]

but that's not really specific to her - that's more about her being the last person I was that close to, and her being such a major part of my life for so long. Comparatively speaking, of course.

So yeah, single and probably going to stay that way for a while. No real prospects or anything. I mean, I kind of have a thing for Rebecca,

[Extreme Sports Bonanza? I miss Rachael Leigh Cook pretending to be part of the marina group.]

Moving on.

but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that anything's going to happen there.

[Now the running to find his true love and prevent a misunderstanding from becoming a tragedy. Gyp and Buddy could have written a more imaginative, if more cheese-oriented, screenplay.]

So what's in store for this year? School. Work. Getting in shape. Taking control of my life, maybe growing up a little (not too much, don't worry).

So, resolutions? Not sure. I'm cutting dairy almost entirely out of my diet, but that's not a resolution so much as it is a 'I don't want to feel like crap, I'm lactose intolerant' kind of thing. I'm going to be back in school, but that's too much of a thing that's like, interwoven into your life to be a New Year's Resolution. The same goes for health things. I'll get back to you on that one.

Ashlee Simpson -- Boyfriend

I can see the things I'd like to be

So I had this weird, crazy dream. It's starting to fade already - I don't know if everyone's fade like mine. As long as I don't get out of bed, I can remember them just fine. But as soon as I stand up, they start fading really, really quick. The parts that I've already gone over in my head a few times, I remember. Even then, though, they fade. I come back two days later to a blog post I've made about them, and I don't remember that at all. It's weird.

Anyway. This one starts off on Scrubs, probably because I've been watching so much of it lately. I really like the show - the more I watch, the more I like it (even episodes I've already watched). I can't really remember that part. But then it goes to me being at home. There's a flier about someone coming home from California to do a lecture about something. I eventually realize it's Chelsea (had to have her in there somehow), and decide I'm definitely not going to that. Then, somehow, it ends up me being at a big house on a hill, and she's living nearby, training some weird, giant aquatic mammal. Then one day, I'm in the pool, and it's there - swims right in front of me. I'm really scared it's going to bite me, but it swims less than a foot away from me, and it just looks at me. Kinda scary. Oh, and Chelsea's swimming nearby. I really don't get it.

To be fair, this description doesn't do this dream justice at all. It was long and epic. I'm talking plots, recurring sub-themes, the whole ball.

In other news, Christmas was pretty good. Got a new desk, a new car seat, a chess set that moves its own pieces, and the Game of Thrones series. Good stuff. It was a lot of fun on Christmas Eve's party at work, we had a small party. It was me, Sergio, Bill, and Jenni working, and we were slow. Bill left at 5-ish, so it was just the three of us for the next four hours. We made cookies and had punch and wore Christmas hats. Well, Jenni wore one. I had a pair of reindeer antlers with bells on them that Jenni had been able to get the girl at Wal-Mart to give her. We ended up going to IHOP after work - the two of us - then talked a little about how she was going to be alone all night and wake up on Christmas Eve by herself, which sucks. Long story short, I drove her to Austin so she could spend the night at her grandmother's, a sweet little Hispanic lady. (Memorable quote: "Now do you believe I'm Hispanic?") Had some rum cake and hot cocoa, got lost on the way back. Well, not really lost, just went the long way. The *long* way. Came home from Austin by way of Dripping Springs - 290 to Ranch Road 12 - and it ended up taking quite a while to get home. That was cool, though.

Anyway, really enjoyed spending that much time with her. Super neat girl. Not like we'll ever date or anything, because that would be awesome. But she's too good for me. Not like that - not in a low self-esteem way, but in a purity kind of way. She even told me I shouldn't shave my head.

Bought my books online this year, saved a *ton* of money - $100 used versus $35 new, and $100 new/non-resellable versus $50 used. Good stuff. Seventeen days left until everything starts up.

Amber G -- Passing Time

Mrs. American Dream since I was seventeen

Just took a three hour nap. Good times. Had a weird dream about school. It's already starting to fragment, so I'll post what I remember. It was supposed to be college, this semester coming up (Spring '08) that's about to start, but it was set in my high school, for the most part. I had a problem finding anywhere to sit at lunch, since nobody had saved me a seat and everything was full. I fell and spilled all my stuff, and was trying to fit everything in my backpack, but it wouldn't fit. Mindy walked by during that part, I started to say something, she looked at me and said "Safe distance", indicating that we shouldn't be any closer than we already were. I managed to get everything into my backpack, but it was too tight and almost didn't fit, and was incredibly heavy. In English class, the crazy professor had assigned us to record one of our fantasies to share with the class for next time - Chelsea was in that class, for whatever reason. As I was trying to get everything in my backpack, someone came up and yelled something about coming to see someone who had done the assignment very well - we all followed him into the classroom building (one of the buildings on the old SMHS campus) into a courtroom-esque setup, headed by Matt Parkman from Heroes. We all get there, and he calls for them to start over.

I woke up for a few hours, then fell back asleep. I had a second set of dreams. I went into Mrs. Schiflett's english class, and she called on me first to get up and share my fantasy with everyone. I told her that I thought we had until Thursday at 10 to do them, she asked me why, and I told her 'an apparent misunderstanding, followed by a dream I had last night', which is weird - that's the first time I remember referencing one dream in another. Odd. Anyway, then she calls on someone else, who starts dancing, then on Brandon, this guy that I went to High School with that's deaf. They both started singing, and looking back, they were both singing the Britney Spears that happens to be emanating from my speakers right now. Good times.

Britney Spears -- Piece of Me

They can't hurt you now

Quick updates.

I think I might have adult-onset Lactose Intolerance. Probably not, kinda far out there, but worth a thought. I've had, well, issues after both big birthday dinners, both cheese-heavy, and more or less, for the last two weeks. Mom suggested eating really soft foods - rice and bananas, mainly. Stopped by Wal-Mart after work, bought six pounds of bananas (since I can't eat pizza at work right now). Ran into Rebecca, talked briefly. She mentioned that she was covered in flour; I, like an idiot, didn't ask her why. Ah, well, it's a guaranteed conversation starter next time I see her.

I was really, really depressed for a while about a week ago. I'm basically over it, but it was weird. I don't know why, there wasn't any trigger, no recurring theme, nothing. Good times.

Work's going to be interesting; we're getting Pulse next week, which is this great new snazzy PoS (Point of Sales, not the other one) system that's supposed to really just be the bees' knees. Or something like that. Speaking of which, Jenn, the training director, is an idiot. In an email sent to the company regarding the transition to Pulse, she meant to say "Thank you for your patience." Of course, she went the wrong way on the patience/patients homophones, and tried to write patients. That would have been pretty bad, kinda dumb. Of course, she had to make it worse. She misspelled patients "paitents". It was awesome.

Cascada -- Because of the Night

A million miles away, but always in my heart

So jury duty wasn't too bad today. We got out of there around 4-ish, having finished the entire docket, so we don't have to go back tomorrow. Just one more session, January 9th-ish. It's pretty cool, 'cause I still have all of tomorrow off to do with as I please. Might go to Domino's and work on the map book, might lounge around the house, might clean up my room.

Let's see, what else?

Oh, right.

Had an(other) sex dream about Ambra. Was a pretty sweet set-up. We were both lying on her living room floor, like when we were hanging out watching Heroes. I kiss her on the cheek like I'm kissing her goodbye, she kisses me back on the cheek, then I kiss her again. Then we start making out. She says something along the lines of 'finally', and clothes start coming off.

Good times.

Jesse -- My Star

So here it comes, the sound of drums

I just had a crazy-ass dream. We were doing some review for some college exam, and the last page had us identifying pictures of porn stars for extra credit. Really, really weird. What was funny about it was that the file names appeared above the pictures, making some of them really easy. We didn't have much faith in the teacher, so we were fairly certain that she'd use the same page for the actual exam, which gave me the humorous, if extremely dirty, image of these girls I went to school with trying to identify these pictures of porn stars so they could get extra credit.

Oh, and someone else was going to sue the teacher for this stunt.

All in all, weird dream.

Oh, and I saw Rebecca last night while shopping at Wal-Mart. I went from HBA to stationary to get a new day planner, and as I turned the corner, she was right there, dealing with returns in the area. I totally froze for a second, until she said "Hi". We talked sporadically as she worked the area and I shopped, until she was called to go man the grocery-side door. Talked to her again briefly on the way out.

Rogue Traders -- Voodoo Child