Remember when
When you promised me your love
But now I've seen it was another lie
Night after night
I was feeling tired of
Trying the way to stop again to cry
I'll never know when that girl
Knocked at your door
And you don't want to tell me why
And now I'm fine 'cause I've seen
That's the end of
And just only want to say goodbye
(You'll never lie me anymore)
(I don't need your love)
(I'm so shy when I'm alone)
I don't need your love this time
You'll never lie me anymore
I don't need your love again
I'm so shy when I'm alone
I don't need your love this time
You'll never lie me anymore
I don't need your love again
I'm so shy when I'm alone
Remember when
When you promised me your love
But now I've seen it was another lie
I'll never know when that girl
Knocked at your door
And you don't want to tell me why
I don't need your love this time
You'll never lie me anymore
I don't need your love again
I'm so shy when I'm alone
2005-07-08
Putfile - Upload Video and Upload Images
Putfile - Upload Video and Upload Images
Wow. This it hot. All WoW fans should watch this right now. Seriously. Stop reading, and watch.
...
...
What are you still doing reading this? Click on the link already!
Wow. This it hot. All WoW fans should watch this right now. Seriously. Stop reading, and watch.
...
...
What are you still doing reading this? Click on the link already!
2005-07-07
Wage Slaves from 1UP.COM
Wage Slaves from 1UP.COM
This kind of thing makes me weep for what we've done to ourselves.
Then I put on a few good mp3s and go back to leveling my warlock.
This kind of thing makes me weep for what we've done to ourselves.
Then I put on a few good mp3s and go back to leveling my warlock.
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
The long, dark, tea-time of the soul.
The hour of the wolf.
That place between awake and asleep, where you still remember dreaming.
It has many names, but they all refer to the same thing, the same state of being. I've been stuck there for a while now; to all outward appearances, I was reading
Children of the Mind, the last book in the Ender Quartet. Of course, I was on the same page for over an hour, because I wasn't really seeing anything. I've been replaying various memories over and over in my head, analyzing various events and arriving at the same conclusions. Or rather, when I managed coherent thought concerning one, it led to the same conclusions. The same ones I've been told by various people throughout the last six months, the same ones I've reached many times myself.
Of course, that's not the problem. The problem is knowing something is right, that it's the appropriate course of action to take, and being unable to take it. Although, in this rare moment of stark honesty, it's not really being *unable* to take it. The connotations of that choice of words imply some external force preventing me, some exterior pressure that leads me from undertaking that necessary course of action. That, of course, is untrue. The only force that stops me is, well, me. Something that originates inside of me. That sounds like, but isn't, an attempt to absolve myself of blame or responsibility. On the contrary, I accept it fully.
The question then becomes, what is it that prevents me from carrying through on these resolutions passed during the long, dark tea-time of the soul, when the opurtunity arises the next day, the next week? That is, of course, one key test of character - it's so easy to conceive an idea, to mentally resolve to face a challenge, but actually confronting it reveals one's heart. And in that crucial battle, I lose every time.
Why? Fear, of course.
Many, many things are ultimately traceable back to that one basic emotion.
The hour of the wolf.
That place between awake and asleep, where you still remember dreaming.
It has many names, but they all refer to the same thing, the same state of being. I've been stuck there for a while now; to all outward appearances, I was reading
Children of the Mind, the last book in the Ender Quartet. Of course, I was on the same page for over an hour, because I wasn't really seeing anything. I've been replaying various memories over and over in my head, analyzing various events and arriving at the same conclusions. Or rather, when I managed coherent thought concerning one, it led to the same conclusions. The same ones I've been told by various people throughout the last six months, the same ones I've reached many times myself.
Of course, that's not the problem. The problem is knowing something is right, that it's the appropriate course of action to take, and being unable to take it. Although, in this rare moment of stark honesty, it's not really being *unable* to take it. The connotations of that choice of words imply some external force preventing me, some exterior pressure that leads me from undertaking that necessary course of action. That, of course, is untrue. The only force that stops me is, well, me. Something that originates inside of me. That sounds like, but isn't, an attempt to absolve myself of blame or responsibility. On the contrary, I accept it fully.
The question then becomes, what is it that prevents me from carrying through on these resolutions passed during the long, dark tea-time of the soul, when the opurtunity arises the next day, the next week? That is, of course, one key test of character - it's so easy to conceive an idea, to mentally resolve to face a challenge, but actually confronting it reveals one's heart. And in that crucial battle, I lose every time.
Why? Fear, of course.
Many, many things are ultimately traceable back to that one basic emotion.
2005-07-06
And I just know we'll have a good time
[Domino's Pizza, on Guadalupe St, across from the Post Office.]
[A red truck pulls into the parking lot. A large youth with unkept dirty blonde hair emerges from the truck in a Domino's uniform and proceeds to put on his shoes, then enter the store.]
Jess: "Hey Billy, do you want to work or go home?"
Billy: "Um, go home, I guess."
Jess: "Okay, you can leave."
Billy: "Really?"
Jess: "Yeah, it's really slow."
[Two minutes later, the truck leaves.]
Got tomorrow off too. Now, if only something else would go right. Anything else.
[A red truck pulls into the parking lot. A large youth with unkept dirty blonde hair emerges from the truck in a Domino's uniform and proceeds to put on his shoes, then enter the store.]
Jess: "Hey Billy, do you want to work or go home?"
Billy: "Um, go home, I guess."
Jess: "Okay, you can leave."
Billy: "Really?"
Jess: "Yeah, it's really slow."
[Two minutes later, the truck leaves.]
Got tomorrow off too. Now, if only something else would go right. Anything else.
2005-07-05
Soon as you get over him, you'll find the sweetest rainbow
The start of another work week. Well, for a lot of us, yesterday wasn't a holiday from work, even if we happened to have the day off. David, Lilie and I did. Though I'm not sure if SMAC's open on the 4th of July. Kinda moot, though - Mom's still in Wyoming (?) with Janelle. They get back late Wednesday night. I think. I've been taking care of the dogs, getting the mail, that kind of thing. Got a fairly easy schedule this week - two 6-10 shifts (one was originally a 5-12, but Korey wanted to trade, and I had plenty of hours already). Have another 5-10, then two 5 - C. Of course, those are both this weekend, so they'll be fairly long - around 11 hours each. Fun times. On those two closing shifts, I'm doubled up with Gina, and she's going to basically let me run things, with her avaiable to assist and answer questions as needed. I'm a little nervous, but confident I'll be able to handle it. Wow. I haven't said something like that outside of a game in a while. Go me.
Speaking of games... let's see, Gnometastic is 24 1/2, Magealicious is 10 (Jarrod and I are leveling together, though I may switch that to Katrean if I catch her up), and Katrean's 6. Not very high, and David likes to rib me about having never seen end-game content except while looking at his screen. We've been having a blast grouping togther, which is cool. Did some major revisions on the mods I use and the format of my UI. The base is still CT Mod + Titan Panel, with the following additions:
Automatically opens all bags when visiting a merchant, sending mail, etc.
Atlas
Contains maps of most instances, along with points of interest for each - named mobs, mostly.
AutoRepair
Whenever you visit a repair-enabled vendor, it gives you the option and cost to repair everything you have equipped, and everything in your inventory. Very useful when you graveyard-rez after an instance and want to AH your loot.
AvailableOnly
Causes the filters on trainers to default to Available.
bc_ActionBarDrag
Gives a one button toggle to allow and disable dragging buttons off the toolbars.
bc_TrackingMenu
Changes the normal icon that appears for tracking abilities into a clickable button that brings up a list of all tracking abilities you have, making it easier to change and saving toolbar space.
BGFLag
Shows who has the flag during CTF.
CCL
Stands for Couldn't Care Less; removes several types of messages from your chat log - "So and so is getting drunk", duel messages, and amount of money looted while in a group.
easyzoom
Removes the + and - buttons from the minimap and allows you to change the zoom on the minimap by mousing over it and using the mouse wheel.
FilterKnown
When browsing recipes in the AH, recipes already known by the current character are shaded blue.
fond
Flippance on Demand, allows macros to call random phrases.
FriendsFacts
Records friends' levels, class, and location.
FriendsShare
Creates a global friends list for every character on a server, so you don't have to remember them all for each alt.
Gatherer
Stores locations of herbs and ore.
Leeroy
Enables /leeroy, which plays the Leeroy Jenkins battlecry.
Lootlink
Creates a browseable database of every item you've ever seen.
MoveAnything
Allows you to move around all of the default UI pieces.
nodni
Removes the Day/Night indicator from the minimap; very useful if you have a clock mod which doesn't replace it, such as the one on Titan Panel.
PlayerLinkMenu
Displays a menu when you click on a player's name in the chat log which features a range of options - Who, Invite, Ignore, Whisper, Trade, Inspect, Target, etc.
Possessions
Tracks the possessions of every character - what they're wearing, what's in their inventory, bank, and inbox.
QuestHistory
Tracks pertinent information for quests - locations, etc.
SCT
Scrolling Combat Text - shows numbers above your character, FF style, when you take damage, heal, receive various buffs/debuffs, etc.
SelfCast
Allows you to hold a button to auto-cast spells on yourself.
SquidMod
Changes the gryphons on th sides of the bottom UI bar to murlocs, octopi, or any of the WoW races.
Fun times.
So, now on to my social life.
Hey, stop laughing. As Catrina on Space Cases once said (almost every episode), "Invisible is *not* the same thing as nonexistent." I'm going to go with in a coma for the moment. I haven't talked to Michael or Luke in a *long* time, except when they called me up to get some books I'd left at their place when they moved. I'd really like to get back into some regular D&D action with them. I miss the game. Fun times. Jarrod and I still talk occasionally, mostly while playing WoW. We're going to get some voice-enabled stuff, which will make questing together a lot easier. I haven't talked to Terri since the last time she called (I guess that's a little redundant), though it does merit some explanation. I was going through a major anti-social mood, and didn't really feel like talking to anybody. She called, and I said, almost immediately, "Terri, I'm going to go now." I guess she didn't believe me, or didn't hear me, or something, because she was really surprised when in a few moments, I told her I was leaving, and did. It wasn't a very nice thing to do, granted, and I wrote her an email a few days later explaining myself and apologizing. She called me later that day, but I was at work, and we've emailed twice since then. It's been a while, though. Same with Carrie. Kind of. I rarely see her online anymore, though she did say she was going to be working at a Fireworks Stand for a while. In that same converation, she reaffirmed her determination to come down here and visit, which would be awesome. Saw Mindy at Wal-Mart, haven't really been back there since at the right time to see her again, haven't talked to her since. I'm debating whether or not I want to. Lilie feels I might still have some residual feelings for her. I don't know. It's also quite possible she doesn't want anything to do with me, given how things ended between us. Fun times.
Speaking of Lilie... nah, I'll get into that later.
Speaking of games... let's see, Gnometastic is 24 1/2, Magealicious is 10 (Jarrod and I are leveling together, though I may switch that to Katrean if I catch her up), and Katrean's 6. Not very high, and David likes to rib me about having never seen end-game content except while looking at his screen. We've been having a blast grouping togther, which is cool. Did some major revisions on the mods I use and the format of my UI. The base is still CT Mod + Titan Panel, with the following additions:
- AllBagsOpen
Automatically opens all bags when visiting a merchant, sending mail, etc.
Contains maps of most instances, along with points of interest for each - named mobs, mostly.
Whenever you visit a repair-enabled vendor, it gives you the option and cost to repair everything you have equipped, and everything in your inventory. Very useful when you graveyard-rez after an instance and want to AH your loot.
Causes the filters on trainers to default to Available.
Gives a one button toggle to allow and disable dragging buttons off the toolbars.
Changes the normal icon that appears for tracking abilities into a clickable button that brings up a list of all tracking abilities you have, making it easier to change and saving toolbar space.
Shows who has the flag during CTF.
Stands for Couldn't Care Less; removes several types of messages from your chat log - "So and so is getting drunk", duel messages, and amount of money looted while in a group.
Removes the + and - buttons from the minimap and allows you to change the zoom on the minimap by mousing over it and using the mouse wheel.
When browsing recipes in the AH, recipes already known by the current character are shaded blue.
Flippance on Demand, allows macros to call random phrases.
Records friends' levels, class, and location.
Creates a global friends list for every character on a server, so you don't have to remember them all for each alt.
Stores locations of herbs and ore.
Enables /leeroy, which plays the Leeroy Jenkins battlecry.
Creates a browseable database of every item you've ever seen.
Allows you to move around all of the default UI pieces.
Removes the Day/Night indicator from the minimap; very useful if you have a clock mod which doesn't replace it, such as the one on Titan Panel.
Displays a menu when you click on a player's name in the chat log which features a range of options - Who, Invite, Ignore, Whisper, Trade, Inspect, Target, etc.
Tracks the possessions of every character - what they're wearing, what's in their inventory, bank, and inbox.
Tracks pertinent information for quests - locations, etc.
Scrolling Combat Text - shows numbers above your character, FF style, when you take damage, heal, receive various buffs/debuffs, etc.
Allows you to hold a button to auto-cast spells on yourself.
Changes the gryphons on th sides of the bottom UI bar to murlocs, octopi, or any of the WoW races.
Fun times.
So, now on to my social life.
Hey, stop laughing. As Catrina on Space Cases once said (almost every episode), "Invisible is *not* the same thing as nonexistent." I'm going to go with in a coma for the moment. I haven't talked to Michael or Luke in a *long* time, except when they called me up to get some books I'd left at their place when they moved. I'd really like to get back into some regular D&D action with them. I miss the game. Fun times. Jarrod and I still talk occasionally, mostly while playing WoW. We're going to get some voice-enabled stuff, which will make questing together a lot easier. I haven't talked to Terri since the last time she called (I guess that's a little redundant), though it does merit some explanation. I was going through a major anti-social mood, and didn't really feel like talking to anybody. She called, and I said, almost immediately, "Terri, I'm going to go now." I guess she didn't believe me, or didn't hear me, or something, because she was really surprised when in a few moments, I told her I was leaving, and did. It wasn't a very nice thing to do, granted, and I wrote her an email a few days later explaining myself and apologizing. She called me later that day, but I was at work, and we've emailed twice since then. It's been a while, though. Same with Carrie. Kind of. I rarely see her online anymore, though she did say she was going to be working at a Fireworks Stand for a while. In that same converation, she reaffirmed her determination to come down here and visit, which would be awesome. Saw Mindy at Wal-Mart, haven't really been back there since at the right time to see her again, haven't talked to her since. I'm debating whether or not I want to. Lilie feels I might still have some residual feelings for her. I don't know. It's also quite possible she doesn't want anything to do with me, given how things ended between us. Fun times.
Speaking of Lilie... nah, I'll get into that later.
2005-07-04
Wired News: When Cockroaches Sieze Controls
Wired News: When Cockroaches Sieze Controls
| "While most people are concerned with exterminating any roaches inhabiting their homes, artist Garnet Hertz ensures they can zip around in style. " |
2005-07-03
I haven't seen you for so long
So it's been a while since I've posted. Not *that* long, but long enough. About half a week, give or take.
So, let's go with a rundown:
Work
So I'm at about two weeks at Domino's. It's going well. Most of the crew are pretty cool. There's only two people I don't like - Chase and some guy... I think his name is Michael? Not sure about his name, but he's a little punk kid that gets on my nerves. Other than that, most of the people are pretty cool. I finally encountered one of Jenn's bad days, which wasn't fun. I've been paired mostly with Jess, who's *awesome* and really nice. I'm glad she's the one that's been training me. Gina pulled me aside the other day to talk, since she'd been busy pretty much since I started and we really hadn't had a chance to start, and told me that I was doing really well. Lilie talked to Jess about me one day, and she said pretty much the same thing. So that's cool. It's... well, it's a job. Much, much better than Sonic, if only because Gina >>>> Dave. I went by Sonic the other day - still the only place in town you can get a cherry limeade - and to turn in my last uniform shirt that finally came out of the wash, and I didn't recognize *anyone*. Very odd. Looks like he replaced around 1/2 - 3/4 of the crew in the last month. Damn.
Let's see... what else is there going on right now? Not much. More later.
So, let's go with a rundown:
Work
So I'm at about two weeks at Domino's. It's going well. Most of the crew are pretty cool. There's only two people I don't like - Chase and some guy... I think his name is Michael? Not sure about his name, but he's a little punk kid that gets on my nerves. Other than that, most of the people are pretty cool. I finally encountered one of Jenn's bad days, which wasn't fun. I've been paired mostly with Jess, who's *awesome* and really nice. I'm glad she's the one that's been training me. Gina pulled me aside the other day to talk, since she'd been busy pretty much since I started and we really hadn't had a chance to start, and told me that I was doing really well. Lilie talked to Jess about me one day, and she said pretty much the same thing. So that's cool. It's... well, it's a job. Much, much better than Sonic, if only because Gina >>>> Dave. I went by Sonic the other day - still the only place in town you can get a cherry limeade - and to turn in my last uniform shirt that finally came out of the wash, and I didn't recognize *anyone*. Very odd. Looks like he replaced around 1/2 - 3/4 of the crew in the last month. Damn.
Let's see... what else is there going on right now? Not much. More later.
