Jessy - My Star

Do you some times
Think of me
The way that I'm thinking of you
I pictured us together
And boy how I wish it to be true

So many miles
Just too far away
I try to find the words
But I don't know what to say
Each time you call me up and ask how I've been
Next time I'll see you
My head will surely spin

You're my star
You're my star
Oh baby, you're my star..

[chorus]
You're My Star, Shining At Night
A Million Miles Away But Always By My Side (2x)

You're My Star Shining So Bright
You Take My Breath Away
Baby You're My Light (2x)

Does your heart skip a beat
Each time that I am around
All this time you've been searching for
This thing that is so hard to find

Just maybe you have searched too hard
The dream you may fantasize
And the day it'll be in front of you
You might not realise

[chorus]
Your My Star, Shining At Night
A Million Miles Away But Always By My Side (2x)

Your My Star Shining So Bright
You Take My Breath Away
Baby You're My Light (2x)

Mmh.. You're my star

You drive me crazy 'cause you could be the one
My mister Right
I don't know what you've done
With my mind, with my heart
Right from the very start
You look to me and made me see
Heaven here on earth

You're my star..

I was Juliet, you were throwing pebbles

So how do I feel about Rebecca?  As evidenced by my blog posts, I've had a crush on her since the first time I saw her.  I thought she was very attractive, and desperately wanted to get to know her, but thought I'd never get the chance.  I thought this was like a dream come true, and I really jumped at it.  I didn't ask her right out, and it took a while for it to come out, but it eventually came out that they were still together.  I'll admit, I was a tiny bit saddened; I was really hoping we'd hook up.  I mean, I'll definitely take the oppurtunity as it presents itself, and I did.  I did let her know how I felt, and if I'm reading this right, she basically told me that she wished she had a chance to give me a chance to give us a chance.

The recurring theme that kept cropping up was that Ralph couldn't know, and I felt that was a little messed up.  We weren't doing anything wrong, what reason was there to hide it?  At least, that's a surface interpretation of the situation.  As it turned out, it's just a festering cesspool of drama (the best kind).  He's apparently crazy jealous, and constantly accuses her of cheating on him, of being with other guys.  I mean, it's to the point where he won't let her have a computer, because he thinks she'll just use it to meet guys and hook up with them.

Here's the thing about relationships.  They're built on trust.  You can argue about it being communication, passion, love, or something else, but I assert that trust is what it all boils down to.  Why would you be with someone you can't trust?  If you're in a relationship, trust is the cornerstone!  You can't stop people from doing stuff they want to do.  Why would you want to be with someone that will cheat on you given any chance, and it's your job to make sure they get no chance?  I really don't understand it.  Whatever.

So during the shakeout process, he called me twice from her phone.  I'm not really thrilled about that; I don't want to talk to him.  The first time was to tell me about how he was done with her and stuff, the second time was to tell me how much they loved each other and how they were getting married.  I should mention that he spent the time immediately afterwards calling varous members of his family to tell them what a whore she was.

Fuck him.  That's the last time I want him mentioned on this blog.

So, moving on.  Where does it go from here?  I don't know.  I talked to her briefly when she got to work today.  It sounds like she intends to go with it, at least for the moment.  It's less than twenty-four hours since the shakeout really started, so it's hard to say where this is going to go.  I want her to be happy.  If she marries some guy and we're friends, that's cool.  If she marries some douchebag out of necessity, well, that's one more failure I can hang on my head.  That's a little roundabout, but if I hadn't screwed up my school stuff, maybe I could offer her a place to live, clear the necessity out of it.  Then again, if I did, would I still be living here, working at Domino's, where she would have had the oppurtunity to come see me?  I don't know.

So I think I'm caught up for the most part; I'll probably throw out random pieces here and there as I continue coverage of this drama llama of a situation.

Taylor Swift -- Love Story

A million miles away, but always in my heart

So I opened it up, and started reading it.  I won't go into it word for word, but she did say that she missed me from when I used to stop by her work and talk to her all the time, and she felt like she lost a friend, and she missed me, and gave me her number and told me to call/text her.  She even specified that if I called her, I should make sure to leave a message.

It was like 11 pm by that point, and I wasn't sure what kind of schedule she was keeping these days, now that she was on days, so I felt it would be better to wait until the next day.  That, and I really wasn't sure what to say.  

Before I left, I put in her number just to see what would come up - and one order did come up, from a week previously, with a veggie pizza on it and Ralph's name.  That caught me a little off-guard, since that probably meant they were still together.

It took me until Sunday afternoon to send her a text; I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  We texted quite a bit - I think the count was about 130 (both ways) in a little under 24 hours.  I ended up giving her a ride home a day or two later, and on Wedneday, we went to the park together.  That was pretty cool.  I took her to the little playground off of Bishop, amongst all the new houses by Bishop and Lisa.  We played around out there for a little while; eventually, we stopped by my house, introduced her to the dogs, then took her back home.

That's when things got interesting.  It turns out Ralph found out about us fairly quickly.  He confronted her about it, then broke up with her.  

Oh, apparently, they're going to get married now.  So that's fun.  So, I have one more post to make, where I sum a few things - our feelings for each other, how fucked up their relationship is, and one or two other things.

Jessy -- My Star

You're my star, shining at night

I haven't written in quite a while, at least, nothing of any subsequence. There hasn't really been much to write about lately - work and school have just been a blur, there haven't been any major events in my life, and I've found better things to do with my spare time than whine about the mundane. Well, kinda.

Whatever.

So, yeah.   Work this weekend was horrendous.  All three days, I walked into the store at 5 pm in the middle of all hell breaking loose.  They were busy as heck during the day, and never really got caught up at any point.  Friday was horrendous.  Saturday started to look the same way, until about six.  I was on the oven, could barely keep my head above water trying to get everything routed, keep everything up to speed.  The door opened just like normal, someone comes in.  I did a double take 'cause the face looked familiar, and eventually realized it was Rebecca.  Yes, that Rebecca.  I totally freaked, 'cause I hadn't seen her in quite a few months, since she had moved to daytime deli "to have a more normal life".  I did see her a week or three ago at Walmart in the morning one time, but I didn't even get to talk to her.  It was really exciting, 'cause I was afraid that she'd gone out of my life forever.  I didn't know anything about her that would help me find her (sounds stalker-ish, almost), so that was the only tenuous link I had.

But back to the story at hand.  I caught eye contact with her a few times, but I couldn't go up to her or anything, we were so busy.  Janelle ended up taking her order; if I had a chance, I would have told her not to charge her.  I did get a chance to go give her her order when it was ready, and I was helping another customer at the same time.  I couldn't really talk to her much even at that point - Gina was standing right there, we were crazy busy, it just wasn't in the cards.  She told me she had a letter for me, and I told her I'd love to read it.  She produced a small, unmarked, sealed envelope.

It was crazy busy for the next few hours, and even once it slowed down, it took me a while to work up the nerve to read it.  I mean, it's hard to imagine someone coming into your place of work, giving you a letter, and having it be a bad thing.  I'm trying to remember who it was, someone kept saying it was probably an invitation to her wedding.  I said that was highly unlikely, and he (she?) said that girls are kind of bitches, and it was likely.  I doubted it.  I constructed a few likely scenarios - did the whole Big O thing, best case, worst case, average case, and most likely case.

Finally, when the drivers were all out on runs and I had an empty screen, I opened it up and started reading it.  I mean, she worked up the nerve to walk into the lion's den, it was the least I could do to match her courage.  More to come.

Jessy - My Star