Nobody gets out alive

Times like this really test my previous assertion that I'm quite capable of standing on my own. I mean, it's really easy for me to say that yeah, I have no problem being alone, that I can be happy and complete, when things are going well, or seem to be getting better. But now, when I get frustrated to the point of being ready to just give up, when I really just want to crawl into someone's arms, and be held, and cry into their shoulder, that's when I get to find out if what I said was a load of shit or not.

So yeah, truck issues AGAIN. SAME EXACT THING. It's been in the shop... four? five? times for it now. They don't know what's wrong with it, "can't find anything wrong" is what they told us this morning. How do I respond to that? "Well, am I starting it wrong?" I can certainly understand that she's an old vehicle, she's going to have problems. She's, what, 16 years old? I don't know when she was produced in '91, but we're coming up on '07 really fast. So, 16 and change. But in the past five years, I've replaced both the engine and the transmission. Not to mention the radiator, among various minor repairs. It's a constant conundrum: Do you repair the vehicle you have, even though you know it's going to keep having new problems, or get a new(er) one, that should be free of the age issues? When do you justify losing everything you've invested into the old vehicle, and when is it just throwing good money after bad?

I'll probably have to get a bike, use that for a while. Not sure what else to do. I mean, I've made a total mess of my life, and times like this really, really serve to drive it home. I think I preferred it when negative emotion spirals focused on things like why the fuck I did something weird at the skating rink around Chelsea, or why Lilie dumped me for Scott, instead of what a failure I am at life. At least the former have some positive memories attached to them, that don't make me feel even more worthless just to attempt to recall.

Skindred -- Nobody

For you, I will not dance

Man, I can be a bitch sometimes:

tigrlily69: Goin' to Kobe with Joe for his birthday at some point tonight, so we'll be in town. :) mrbinkyjackalope: Kobe? tigrlily69: Japanese place in SM? mrbinkyjackalope: A mrbinkyjackalope: h mrbinkyjackalope: Never been. mrbinkyjackalope: But I think I know what you're talking about. tigrlily69: Right there by Best Buy, at the freeway. tigrlily69: It's guuuuud. mrbinkyjackalope: Heh. mrbinkyjackalope: Tell Joe Happy Birthday for me. tigrlily69: I will. It's actually Saturday, but we're going out today because I don't work tonight. mrbinkyjackalope: Good plan. tigrlily69: Point being, we'll be in town tonight. :) mrbinkyjackalope: ...so you said.

Nelly Furtado -- One-Trick Pony

She's a maneater

Just a quick update. Went and got my truck. They "couldn't find anything wrong with it." Yeah. They changed out some distributor module that Billy McAllister was having issues with on his truck when it was doing the same thing, we'll see what happens. Didn't have any issues on the way home (other than the squeaking, which I need to get taken care of very soon), but then again, it never does. We'll see what happens when I try to go to work tonight.

Got my cell phone back. The battery had died, so I didn't get to see how many missed calls I had, and there were only two messages, one of which was me, trying to find my phone.

Nelly Furtado -- Maneater

Cover me in ecstasy

Guess I'm in a posting mood today. I have an hour, maybe two, before I have to spring into action and start getting some errands taken care of - deposit my paycheck, drop off rent, purchase a bird bath for Bam and Greg, go do some clothes shopping at the Outlet Mall, courtesy of the gift card Mom got me, and I think that's all? Oh! I also have to drop by Mom's, grab my cell phone and get some food out of the fridge that expires today. My phone's been missing for a few days now, it was in Janelle's car. Turns out it fell out as I was getting in. Or out. Whatever. It's funny, 'cause there's going to be about five missed calls from the apartment, a few from the house, a few from Rose, and probably a bunch from Mom.

The thing that complicates all of this, and prevented me from doing any of it yesterday is that my truck's in the shop again, for the same old issue. It's starting to get really, really annoying. I don't know how this guy managed to get Bill Mann to give him the SMAC contract, but he really, really doesn't deserve it. I definitely won't be going to him for any of my mechanical needs, once this thing is done, which are coming up - I need a new fanbelt, probably could use an oil change... good stuff.

So yeah. The thing that complicates this... wait, did that. The other thing that complicates this is that I have to pick Mom up at 2:30 to take her from one of her jobs to the other. I think she might be dropping me of at the apartment instead? Something like that. Either way, I'll be leaving at noon, or when Femaledwarf hits 52 (41k xp to go!), but not whichever comes first. I'm not sure.

So, New Year's is coming up. To be frank, Christmas wasn't that great this year. I've already done my disclaimer on bitching about it, and I'd like to just reference it and say it holds here as well. Hell, let's just have it as my standard disclaimer to every post I've ever made in which I bitched about things are, in the grand scheme of things, relatively minor (Note: everything I've ever really bitched about). I don't think New Year's is going to be any better. Well, it won't be worse, but it won't be good at all, because it's going to be a normal work day. We go on break at midnight, which means I'll probably have to deal with a bunch of co-workers being all "Happy New Year's!" I hate that. Well, I don't hate that. I hate random people wishing me a happy New Year's. I guess it's just one of those little idiosyncratic things about me, like how I hate salespeople coming up to me and asking me if I need any assistance in a store. It's polite, it's a nice way of showing compassion for your fellow human beings, and it drives me nuts. Now, I love being wished a happy New Year's by important people.

But I'm going to reminisce about past Christmas/New Year's, and why they sucked. I mean, I don't automatically assume it's going to suck, but I don't shy away from the reality of the situation.

jakalope -- Feel It

We're in a circle, and nobody's gonna break through

So I've always said that I was going to take my wife's last name when (if) I get married. That was, of course, assuming I didn't marry someone that couldn't wait to drop their last name either (Lilie, Mindy). In that case, my first suggestion was my Mom's father's family name, Festo. The reasoning is very simple - I don't like my father. I certainly acknowledge that he is the donor of half my genetic material, but that's about it. I mean, he wasn't as bad as some - never abused me, always paid his child support, but those are about the only good things I can say. I don't blame any of the bad things in my life on him, but also, give no credit for any of the good things. I'm not very fond of his family in general, so I don't want to pass on the Martin surname. The 'Jr' can go for the same reasons, and Barclay? It's a family name of one of the families in his ancestry, so it can go too. The William is neutral towards either family, and I go by "Billy" anyway, so it can stay.

Anyway, Janelle dropped this bomb on me - she wants to get her name changed as well this summer, also to drop Martin. That really caught me off-guard, but doesn't surprise me that much - she's four years younger than me, so she has even less connection to him than I do. She's been thinking about Schiavello, which is Mom's father's mother's maiden name. I like it too - William Alexander Schiavello sounds really nice, even if it's kinda long and has a lot of syllables. Mom jumped in at this point, saying that if we're both dropping Martin, she's going to as well, since she only kept Martin so we'd all have the same last name. She'll probably take Festo, her father's family name. She mentioned that he might be a little hurt that we jumped back a generation, so it's still under debate what we're taking. We were joking about hyphenating it, like Schiavello-Festo or something like that. Of course, I could get away with using one as my middle name - William Schiavello Festo. So, we'll see how that goes.

Ashlee Simpson -- L.O.V.E.

You're wasting my time; could've, should've been living my deams

I should preface this post by saying I've been fairly fortunate in the grand scheme of things. Other than a weight problem, I'm very healthy, and other than an incredible knack for making incredibly bad decisions, I'm very intelligent. I never had to go to bed hungry, except as a punishment, nor did I ever have to entertain myself with only a twig and a bit of twine. My present circumstances are entirely the result of my bad decisions, and have nothing to do with any problems in my upbringing (Well, maybe one or two things. But not really).

So, when I whine and bitch and rant, I know that in the grand scheme of things, the things I'm complaining about are relatively minor, and that there are millions of people worldwide that would gladly exchange their troubles for mine.

That being said...

SHIT.

COCK.

BALLS.

This Christmas wasn't that great. It was dominated by a truck issue, one I'm happy to report I seem to have finally cleared up within the last hour. A week (?) ago, when Ambra needed a ride home from work, my truck wouldn't start. I checked the dial, and it looked light I might have left the inside light on all night and all day (even though my internal light doesn't come on through that switch, but I was thinking maybe the circuit was open and could have drained it? Or something?), so Janelle came, gave me a jump, and it started just fine. Didn't think anything else of it, until the next day, after Ambra left, when it wouldn't start again. Not like the recurring fuel pump issue I've had, just nothing - no noise, no motion, nothing. It took a jump, leading me to believe it wasn't the starter. So, I figured the battery was probably dead. Janelle gave me a ride to work, then in the morning (Christmas Eve), I bought a new battery and went to work trying to replace it. I should mention that it was very cold and raining. Not that they bother me *that* much, but it does make the story that much better, and I was sick, and frustrated, so they didn't help. The terminals were SUPER corroded, so I couldn't get them off, and eventually gave up in frustration. Christmas... I'll talk about that in a bit.

Last night, bought a terminal replacement set - two terminals, screws, and nuts - and set to work replacing it this morning after work. Got the old battery out (eventually; the screw that holds down the rubber plug was mega-rusted). Started working on replacing the battery terminals... and I lost a nut. They hold the screws in that are holding down the plate that keeps the wires in contact with the terminals and posts, so yeah, they're pretty important, and they don't pack a spare or anything. I gave up on it for the moment, came inside, and took a nap. Woke up an hour ago, Janelle came and got me (again), brought me to Mom's house, found a new nut that worked almost as well, and replaced it.

Got everything hooked up, and yes! my truck works. I fucking rock.

Mon A Q -- It's My Turn

I know when the heartache is over, I won't be missing you

This will be my 777^th post. Yay me. So, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Good stuff. It really snuck up on me this year - I hadn't done any shopping, but I remedied that today after work. Got a lamp and some perfume for Mom - both things she specifically told me she wanted, and a bath basket for Janelle. I'm getting her an external CD/DVD drive for her laptop, since a replacement internal drive will be something like 150+ dollars. She's worth it, but the part isn't. Needlessly expensive replacement components - another reason I don't like laptops. But yeah, we'll get her taken care of. Gonna get Bam and Greg a birdbath, but neither Walmart nor Lowe's had one. Mom's going to check the Home Depot in Kyle for me when she drives by. I figure I'll put two rubber ducks in it, 'cause that's cute, and those will be for Saxton. He might be a little young for them at the moment, but a kid is never too young to start collecting rubber ducks, right? Anyway, those are the big three on my list. After that, there's Rose, Lilie, Ambra, and David. I'm going to get them... well, I shouldn't write that here, since they all four, at one time or another, read this. Occasionally, at least. But I know what they're getting, and I hope they like it. I think they will.

Ambra's gone for Christmas, she won't be back 'til... Tuesday? It's all quiet and lonely here. David's going to be gone 'til January, Rose and Lilie are in Austin, and neither one's much for talking at the moment.

So, relationships. In the aftermath of the Lilie situation, as I continue to adjust to our new situation, I've done a lot of thinking at work about myself, about love, about life, the universe, and
everything (hint: 42).

Stop. Stop it right here. As I've done before, I'm going to stop myself and just replace what I was going to say, rant about, whine, bitch, and moan with a pretty picture:




Ah, I feel better. I still want to talk about relationships at some opint, but not what I was going to say.

Freemasons ft Amanda Wilson -- Love On My Mind

Global Orgasm

Global Orgasm

Awesome idea, terrible, terrible execution.

It's a huge anti-war thing. Something about we all have an orgasm while thinking about peace. While I'm a fan of both weird worldwide celebrations - International Talk Like A Pirate Day is pretty cool - and of orgasms - sex is great - this one has the foundations of a neat idea, but making it about anti-war-ness kind of ruins it, since it divides the pro-orgasm pro-peace people from the pro-orgasm pro-war people. The anti-orgasm people don't really matter.

They do have a great slogan, though: "We Came in Peace"

Nein es ist die frau die freitags nicht kann

So Joe and Ashley came and talked to me the other night at Walmart, while I was unloading some freight. It was really nice to catch up on everything, hear what they've been up to. Joe's still at Papa John's; he didn't get the GM position, but he likes it over there. Ashley's still at Bennigan's, but she's reapplying at Domino's. Yeah. They're really hurting for managers, and Gina apparently had a heart attack, and had to be back at work a week later. Or something like that. So yeah, Ashley went back and applied. Gina said it up to Mike (Bernall, the head of operations). I've heard that Mike doesn't know anything about what happened between Ashley and Jenn (they had a bit of a tiff), so he'll probably just turn it back over to Gina, who will consult with Jenn. Ashley must really not like Bennigan's to go back to Domino's. Damn.

A few days later, I ran into Ernie Bueno. He was an insider, a friend of Joe's that also plays trombone. Really cool guy, smart, nice, the whole package. We talked for about as long as I thought I could get away with. He told me about Gina's heart attack, about Mike not knowing about Jenn/Ashley and likely turning it back over to Gina. He said they have a ton of drivers now, and that they're really getting after Mal to stop milking the clock and get her shit done. Sergio talks a lot more now - he said that he looks forward to closing with him, because they laugh a lot. That's a huge change; even Ambra was totally surprised. He kept getting after me to reapply - "C'mon, man, at least go in and put in your app, see what happens.", that kind of thing. That would sound reasonable, if I had been fired or something, but I quit, because I didn't like working there, between having to deal with Mal's shit and Gina/Jenn's massive hypocrisy, all that bullshit. I just got tired of it. It's nice, not having to deal with food, not having to deal with customers. I don't miss it, not really. The constant free food was pretty nice, and there are some coworkers - Ashley, Joe, Mike, Ray - that I miss working with. Other than that, though, they can have it.

On another note, I think I prefer doing a bunch of smaller posts, each a little more self-contained. It makes it much less likely I'll grow frustrated with the sheer amount of material I've decided to write about and just give up on the whole thing. That, and it makes the tagging system a lot more useful.

Fanta4 -- Die da

I'm fascinated

Lots of post tonight.

So, Mom got me a membership to the S(an) M(arcos) A(ctivity) C(enter) for my birthday, and two racquets and balls for Christmas. Matt loves racquetball as well, so we've been playing after work, a lot. Something like 8-9 hours in the five days or so we've played. I start breathing heavy and sweating right away, but that's normal, and it doesn't indicate me getting tired or anything. I finish very strong, even after two, two and a half hours of play. I weighed myself after the very first time we played - 336. Yep. That's even after losing weight from working at Walmart for two months. Well, I'm not sure that I actually lost weight at Walmart, though I did become healthier, as my musculature definitely improved, especially in my biceps. My calves have always been awesome, especially since I picked up DDR. My back and shoulders are really my strongest parts, while my chest and arms have always been pretty weak, relatively. But that's changing, and I can feel it, which is nice. But that's off-topic. So yeah, I weighed myself yesterday, and I've lost nine pounds so far (that's in about a week and a half, maybe two weeks). So yeah, go me. I weigh myself every time I go there, to get a better idea for what I actually weigh, how it fluctuates, that kind of thing. So yeah, it's nice to be able to finally track my results.

Deepgrove -- Fascinated

I'd never let him touch my heart

That last post was both too long, and not as informative as I had hoped. Suffice to say, the last two weeks had some pretty low points.

Anyway.

One other thing I wanted to talk about from work - Matt. Him and I have been getting along *great*, despite the disparity in our ages - he's actually like 31 or something. He's been there maybe three years, and I totally forgot that he worked there when I applied there. But yeah, we've been getting along really well, hanging out at lunch, giving him a ride to and from work at times, that kind of stuff. We've also been playing racquetball a lot - he's been totally kicking my ass, but not nearly as much as the scores suggest. I just have issues returning his serves. If I manage that, and we get to a volley, I more than hold my own. It's just that, well, he'll get like fix to seven aces IN A ROW, which makes things very disheartening. Briefly.

But the thing I wanted to touch on is one other way we're very similar - Mat is also in love with a girl who doesn't love him back. Not like he wants her to, at least. However, the key difference with him is that he's decided there isn't anyone else out there for him, that she's the only person he'll ever love, ever. He lives with her, but they're just friends, and I mean actually just friends. Nothing like the 'just friends' Lilie and I have at times, or anything even close. I mean, even if we didn't fool around like we do, we'd still be close - holding hands and the like. And while I may still be hopelessly in love with her, I'm not so far gone as to believe that she's the only person out there that I could ever love, that it's her or nothing, ever. I mean, that sort of unwavering, unquestionable love may make for great stories, but it's too heart-wrenching of a way to approach life. I guess I could see it if we had been together for a long time or something, but we weren't, and it doesn't really apply here. It's kind of an eye-opener, to see how he's completely attached his life to hers. That's not something I want to go through.

Then, of course, the question comes up, would moving in with them be a step in that direction? Maybe, but I don't think so. I mean, I've contemplated dating other girls, I'm not so far gone as to believe she's the only one for me, ever, that it's her or nothing for the rest of my life. I mean, if she ever wanted to get back together, I'd be all for it, though I know that there are core differences that stop us from being a great couple, and that they'd have to change or be reconciled before "us" would happen, and I don't see that happening any time soon. Which is fine - I don't believe in changing the core of who you are for someone else. But yeah, we've even talked about it. Kinda. We talked more about physical aspects than dating - she's finally not shy about telling me when she's crushing on someone else, because maybe I've finally got her to realize that I'm okay with it? I hope so. I'm finally able to talk to her about my experience with others, as well - nothing major, just things like I've been really noticing - staring at, really - my roommate's massive rack lately. Her possessiveness/insecurity was kind of cute, while somewhat revealing - "You just don't love my boobs anymore", that kind of thing.

So yeah, seeing Matt go through the sheer hell that he does with Celeste is a real eye-opener, makes me see what I could have been, if I had taken the Lilie thing too far, and I think a lot of people, when they council me to move on past her, fear that I'm doing what he is, while I'm not.

Deep Dish vs Dire Straits -- Flashing for Money

You never love me, anymore

It's actually going to be two weeks in review. The first was a whopping eight days (you're supposed to sign a release to work seven or more, I didn't), the second was a standard five. Both were pretty bad. Let's start with people that annoyed me:

• Paul
  Yeah, I was surprised to see his name here as well. Paul's normally a cool guy; educated, intelligent, we get along very well. He understands my curiosity about everything, and usually answers my questions to the best of his ability.
  
  However, it appears he's also a whiny bitch. Two occurrences: First, one day - I think it was a Friday? - about half of us didn't come in until midnight. Justin was off, which meant one of us had to do 01 - the water, soda, and chip aisles (2). Usually, that's Paul. Today, though, I guess he just didn't feel up to it? He was trying to have me do it, which was fine by me. However, Louis, the manager for grocery that night, came over and told him to do it, since we were already two hours behind, and that Paul needed to do 01 tonight. Paul said, and I quote, "No." Maybe it's because I've been a manager, but when they're telling you to do something that's well within the parameters of your job, "No" isn't an appropriate response. Louis just kind of looked at him and says "Yes." Paul asks him what other options are available. Louis tells him that he's doing 01.
  
  Second, this was in the middle of my eight day week. We had a few aisles left to zone, but they were all at least partly done. It was 8:30 or so. I had just taken a few carts up front after emptying them of trash, and ran across Paul finishing up 6. I get on the other end to help, and he says to me, "Hey, finish this up for me." "Um... I'm happy to help you finish up?" "Well, it's my Friday, and it's 8:30, so I'm leaving."
  
  What a fucking bitch! I mean, yeah, we're all assigned to an aisle or two, but that's an internal thing - all of grocery is responsible for every aisle. Cutting and running like that is pretty low.
  
  
• Brenda
  I could go on and on and on and on about this one, but I'll try to keep it to specific incidents. We were kept late on multiple incidents because she can't throw 9 in a reasonable amount of time, even when I have more freight on 7 and get it done like an hour earlier. She quote "Can't work with you guys" and "Can't work with guys", and can't be talked to at all. She had an open trash bag, I had a bag of pasta I needed to throw away, and the only other option was to walk to the other side of the store and throw it in the GM compactor. I ask her if I can put it in her bag, and she gets all uppity, and says that if the bag breaks, she'll know who to blame. Just stuff like this, every single day. It's getting really old, really fast. Her attendance is really, really flaky as well. I could go on, but there's no real point - it's the exact same stuff every day, and unlike being in love with Lilie, there aren't any fun parts.
  
  
• Conner
  Conner is like a cross between JPBloodreign, Uncle Freddie, and, um, someone else I can't quite think of right now. He wants to be very in-your-face, but he loves to tell you about it, instead of letting his actions speak for themselves. He'd much rather tell you about it. Repeatedly. He wants to have the "I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks" mentality, except... he does, and it's obvious, so to compensate, he tells you that's how he is, except he's not. And he's a huge Nintendo fanboy, that claims he's not. That's fun.
  
  
• Nolan
  I hate useless old people that jump to conclusions based on incomplete information, then refuse to abandon that information regardless of any new evidence that may present itself. Hell, they don't have to be old. That's one of the things most atheists pride themselves on - being willing to objectively analyze things that may contradict their current beliefs, and not simply reject them out of hand. He, like Mom, jumps to a conclusion and refuses to retreat from it. I hate that.
  
  
• Zack
  GUESS WHAT? IT TAKES MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES TO THROW 30 CARTS FULL OF TRASH, MAKES 2 BALES, SORT THE PLASTIC OUT TO TAKE IT TO GM'S COMPACTOR, BECAUSE OURS IS LOCKED OUT BECAUSE NO ONE PUSHES THEIR TRASH BACK, THEN TAKE IT ALL OVER TO GM, THEN HAVE TO TAKE SIX MORE CARTS FULL OF OTHER PEOPLE'S TRASH, BECAUSE A FUCKING MANAGER TOLD YOU TO, AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S NOT REALLY YOUR JOB TO DO SO, YOU CAN'T REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO AN ASSISTANT MANAGER.

So that's been fun. Yeah, that eight-day work week, it was pretty painful. Had two days of dealing with everybody's trash, which I don't mind, except when Zack starts freaking out when it takes me a bit of time to deal with EVERYBODY'S TRASH FROM THE ENTIRE NIGHT. I'm going to mix in the last week as well. Two days, we didn't get out 'til 9-ish, with a ton of people helping us. One night, it was four of us, no Paul, Nolan, or Zack, and we had to blitz both 7 and 10, which really screws things up. The next night, we had to do it again, except Rosa was there, and she can't read. At all. Or speak much English. So, take her off 10, she's totally worthless. That was fun.

I could go on and on, but it's the same old shit, and it's starting to run together. So I'll move off the topic of work, and move on to somewhat more pleasant things.

D'Asha -- Another Lie

Nothing gets me off the way that you do

I'd like to correct my previous post.

It is, in fact, a plot, not a scheme.

Lindsay Lohan -- Who Loves You

I'm falling apart, 'cause you're walking away

Things to post about:

• A review of how badly I've failed at life
  
  
• My new life philosophy
  
  
• This week in review - work, my two days off, all that good stuff
  
  
• Racquetball!
  
  
• My new genius plot - nay, scheme - the first phase of which I've already begun initiating
  
  
• 
  
  Astrada -- Just Another Day

I search for you everywhere we've been, but you're not there

Got a few posts done today that I'd been meaning to do; what does that leave?

A review of how badly I've failed at life, mainly.

My new life philosophy.

I think that just about covers it.

Maybe my 2.0 builds as well, for those that are curious.

Amber G -- Sugar Storm

Amber G - Passing Time

Taking on all my life
All at once, not too bright
Taking on all my life
All at once, really bright
I can see the things I'd like to be
During everyday
But the days just fade away
Too quickly

Take me out of this place
I just want
To see the faces of people I know
Or meet someone new
Just need to do something
Anything at all really

Passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere
I'm passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere
I can't imagine
Life without someone

All of my time now just revolves around
Fixing your problems
How did they become mine?
My solution
Keep them out of my mind

I'm passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere
I'm passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere

You said you'd take me there
You said you'd take me there
You said you'd take me there
You said you'd

I'm passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere
I'm passing my time here
Take me somewhere
We've got a little time here
Take me somewhere

I'm in a place that no one should be

So I'd been looking forward to the day for around a month. Originally, Bambi called me and asked me which of two days would be better; I told her that neither would be, I'd probably be working on both, and couldn't really get either day off. She bought tickets for one of the days anyway; I had to work.

However, she was able to switch them out for tickets two weeks later, and I had enough time to trade with Paul and get the day off. Lilie, despite leaving the day after the game for a few days, was also very amicable towards going, which made it that much better.

So I head up there after work, wake her up. Girls always look like such angels when they're sleeping. So peaceful, no worries, no anger, no depression, just... them. They just are. The effect is double for particularly attractive girls, and amplified further for girls who often have their inner beauty marred by negative emotions.

Speaking of which, I've found I'm a huge advocate of natural beauty. There are a few examples of females at work who wear WAY TOO MUCH makeup. Take Gypsy, for example. She's an older lady, but not old, who works in ICS, so I see her a few times a week when I'm leaving and she's coming in. She could be decently attractive, but she's not, because she wears too much makeup. I've seen it way too many times, and it's tragic. A bit of makeup, max. Seriously.

Anyway.

So I wake her up, she gets ready, we leave. We're running a bit late at this point - I hit more traffic than anticipated just north of town, in addition to Austin, and stuff. We met up with Bam and Mom outside of the arena, headed in.

IT'S SO FUCKING GHETTO.

The Bat Cave was awesome, that's where they were playing the previous two times I've gone to games with Bill and Sara. They're not playing there anymore (I don't remember why.) They're playing at Chapparal Ice, an ice skating rink in North Austin; Heather and I went there once to go ice skating.

It's bad. Really, really bad. The seats are tiny, the whole thing is kind of jury-rigged, slap-dashedly assembled. The overall effect is something that wouldn't be out of place in San Marcos, if we somehow had a minor-league hockey team.

So yeah.

Sat through the first period, only missed the first five to seven minutes of it, not too bad. 0-0 at the end of the period, no fights. Lilie started to feel a bit ill by the end of the first period, we went and walked around the outer part of the venue, to no avail. As the first intermission drew to a close, she told me she really needed to go home. I relayed that information to Mom and Bam, told them I'd come back if possible, depending on time.

By the time we got her back to her apartment, if I'd just dropped her off and immediately turned around and drove back, I'd have made it back with something like five minutes left in the third period. Ick. I had to later explain to Mom that no, it wasn't worth it, sine there's NO FOURTH PERIOD IN HOCKEY; THAT'S WHY THEY CALL THEM PERIODS, NOT QUARTERS. But yeah, stayed at her place, crashed there with her. Woke up, didn't feel like going to play DDR, so I just went ahead and headed home.

All in all, kinda crappy, except the crashing with her part, which was pretty cool.

The other day, Rose calls me to ask if I can pick her up from the airport, since she'd be coming in at 4, in the middle of Lilie's sleep cycle. I called her back during first break; Zack and Nolan overheard my half of the conversation, and of course, totally misconstrued it. I stayed up and went and picked up Rose; got back to her place, and... Lilie was there. Yeah. With Lucas. Which meant we might have passed each other on the highway between San Marcos and Austin. Good times.

So she took Lucas home, I hung out with Rose, then fell asleep in Lilie's bed. She woke me up, which is always a special feeling. It's just something about the first thing you see when waking up being someone beautiful, that you're in love with, that loves you too. The smile makes me glow inside.

So, that's a big chunk of what I've been up to lately. Oh, I've been in a pretty good mood since picking Rose up at the airport, for two reasons. One I'll write about here, one I'll do elsewhere.

Amber G -- Be in Love

Taking all my life all at once, not too bright

So, my posting has been sporadic as of late, primarily due to my new job. First and foremost, I tend to get into this mode of work-sleep-work-sleep. I have a few hours between the two, but that tends to be WoW, eating, that kind of stuff. So, I'll probably shift to long update posts on my days off.

Second, I tend to blog about work a lot, and that's not nearly as interesting at this job as it has been at previous jobs. I rarely deal with any customers stocking overnight; the few that I do interact with are just asking where stuff is; the sum total of our conversation is usually;

"Where's [random item]?"
"Aisle six."

That's not blog-worthy, except to note that it's not blog worthy. The only customers that I remember interacting with eight seconds after the conversation is over are the cute girls, and there aren't that many of those. I mean, there are, but most aren't noteworthy either. None really stand out. Of course, that's their worst nightmare, which is kind of funny.

As a tertiary point, my coworkers aren't fun, either. I mean, I'm sure they are, just not from my perspective and in regards to me. They're not really my peers, and I couldn't really see myself hanging out with very many of them outside of work, which is a big contrast from Domino's. I mean, I'll probably post the occasionally bitchy post about Brenda, or if Mindy and I have a weird conversation (we haven't talked, nor seen each other, since I started there, save twice, and both lasted a total of maybe five seconds. So not much material there.

Finally, my job isn't very intellectually stimulating. It's predominately physical. Downstack palettes, put stuff on shelves, make the shelves look pretty. Also, you tend to be on the aisle by yourself, so there's no one to talk to. No real music to listen to; there's the stuff playing on the pa, but it sucks, and it can be kind of soft at times, and it really sucks.

Also, it sucks.

Anyway, moving past how much late night radio sucks, not a lot to think about while working. Focusing on the job sure, but that doesn't occupy me entirely. So, I think about a lot of stuff. Lilie, to be sure, WoW, but I end up talking to myself a lot, about issues I'm having - stuff I'd normally be blogging about. I work through various issues, examine them in detail; I even find myself doing it in the manner in which I'd be blogging about them. So, by the time I get home, I feel like I've already had my cathartic rant about whatever issue is bothering me, and don't really need to write about it.

So, yeah.

Got my membership to SMAC. Mom's gonna buy me some rackets, Mat and I will be playing racquetball. I hope to make it there at least five times a week, we'll see how it goes.

I still need to post about the hockey game and that whole awesome day, and things about Lilie, but I'll probably post that elsewhere.

Amber G -- Passing Time

I need another one, I think you, you do too

Today's going to be an awesome day, if I can somehow survive it. Finally get to go to the hockey game with Mom and Bam and Lilie, thanks to Paul switching days off with me so I'm off tonight. After the hockey game, Lilie and I will be hanging out, which rocks, since we haven't seen each other in something like a month or so. After that, DDR, something else I haven't done in far too long.

Of course, that's assuming I don't pass out sometime between now and midnight.

Ashlee Simpson -- L.O.V.E

There's no way back

So once again, I've been introduced to a popular (for lack of a better term) artist by a very roundabout path. First, it was Evanescence. I'd heard of them, but only as a name of a band, didn't know what they played, had never heard any of their stuff, whatever. So I was downloading stuff, and came across a dance remix of My Immortal. Yeah, kind of a weird song to remix, but whatever. Eventually, I got interested in the song, so I tracked down the original. Found a complete discography - they use that song a lot. I mean, it's on my master playlist something like seven times.

More recently, I was checking out Divide and Kreate's homepage. Awesome stuff - takes vocals from one song, background music from another. Most of them turn out really well, often as good if not better than the original. So there was one song, "I'm Talking About L.O.V.E.", which features a Van Halen guitar backing from a similarly named song, and the vocals from some girl. I eventually checked it out, and sure enough, it was Ashlee Simpson, of Jessica Simpson's little sister fame. I originally hated her, but that wasn't based on anything, other than just, hey, it's Ashlee Simpson. But I've downloaded both her albums, and they're, well, alright. I wouldn't really call it a guilty pleasure, since I've always liked girly bubblegum pop.

This is also where I found Lily Allen, one of whose songs I posted earlier - it wasn't necessarily directed at anybody - I mean, it could have been at Lilie, like a year ago, but not anymore - I just like the song. And the whole thing changes so much when you change the backgrounds. Good stuff.


Ashlee Simpson -- Beautifully Broken

Blow kisses at me, 'cause I'm a lil' cutie

So I forgot to mention in my dream last time one other thing that was very prominent. There was very much a sense of Carpè Diem, because something was limiting our time together. I wasn't sure if the authorities were coming for her, or we were both about to die or something, but we were taking advantage of the moment, because it was all we had.

So I went and checked out that cell phone that they sent Mom for me. It looked basically like our old new phones, but with a black color scheme with gray highlights. Definitely a better model. I played around with it for a bit, but there wasn't a place to insert my SIM card, which made me a little suspicious. I started it up and looked through the phone, it had a lot of information on it - full phonebook, previous calls, messages, that kind of thing. I was really confused at that point - it even let me dial out. So, there's clearly something weird going on, I think Mom's going to call the phone company and see if they know what the hell is going on, because I'm not entirely convinced they do.

Ashlee Simpson ft Missy Elliot -- L.O.V.E. (Remix)