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Good job fighting the break of dawn so far

Oh, forgot one interesting thing.

Rose told me that she thinks I should see a psychologist/therapist/analyst. Not in a jokingly, teasing, "Oh, you're crazy" kind of way, but in a very serious, "I'm really worried about you and think you have issues that you really need to deal with that require professional help" kind of way.

So that's good.

Save tonight, and fight the break of dawn

I knew it. I hate being right all the time, of being able to decipher things and understand how systems work. It's a gift at times, and something I wouldn't give up, because it's part of who I am, but that doesn't mean that it's always a good thing, nor does it always lead to favorable results.

Additionally, I'd like to reaffirm my belief in the power of knowledge. Knowledge is always better than ignorance.

Those things aside...

Went to a Sonic party last night, lots of old faces there (as you can see in the pictures) - Devon, Leslie, Marny, Leah, etc. I didn't stay very long, though - my SAD (I'm not entirely sure that's what I have, but the description fits, so I'm going to call it that, for lack of a better thing to say, and out of a desire to avoid having to repeat myself all the time) was kicking in really bad. That, and I really hate crying in front of people. I almost didn't even stay long enough to see Leslie, but Kristin managed to convince me to stay at least that long. After that, I really didn't want to be alone, so I headed up to Austin to crash with Rose. She told me that when my eyes are all bloodshot from crying, they're a really pretty shade of blue; sparkly, even. I was going to help her move in the morning anyway, so it worked out well. We got a load of stuff down here and unloaded into her room (requiring no fewer than 16 trips up her stairs on my part), and her storage unit taken care of, so I'll be heading back there tonight after work, and we'll move a load or two of stuff, which should finish getting her out of the apartment. She's not terribly happy about moving back in with her parents, but it won't be for *that* long, just while she gets her life back together.

It was nice seeing Katie again; haven't seen her for a couple of months. Turns out not only do we have the exact same phone, but we also use the exact same ringtone, and even the exact same background picture. Go us. It was... kinda weird.

Forgot about the work meeting this morning; they called while I was up in Austin. Talked to Adam briefly. Dave can kiss my ass.

So, things are... things, I guess. Not sure where to go from here.

Sonic Party, 1/28/05

Marny and Erica. I haven't seen Marny since she left.	Rudy. Confused? Perplexed? Deep in thought? Wait, I've got it... wasted.
Ray and Kenny, in the midst of a demonic possession.	Kristen, offering cherries that have been soaked in something. I don't want to know what.
Matt, another old face, and Allison, who doesn't like having her picture taken.	Katie.
Freddie, playing Dominoes.	Devon. She's like nine feet tall.
Kristin and Erica. It took three tries to get this picture.	Group shot, including Leslie on the left, talking to Bruce. This is right before I left.

Because it's you, boy; Better be true, boy

Well that sucked.

So Lilie's leaving (left) to go do her thing this weekend. I talked to her last night, and she said that she wanted to be out early - 7-ish or so. So I put my plan into motion and got there 'bout 6:30.

And assuming you're reading this sequentially, you already know what happened. She wasn't there. Darn. At least the copies I made of two of them are pretty cool. I guess I'll see her when she gets back on Sunday night... assuming she still wants to see me.

Pictures: WoW

Just a reminder: Click on the thumbnails for a much larger (1024 x something) version. I wanted to keep it (somewhat) slower-connection friendly.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - riding gryphons is one of the hottest things I've ever done in any video game, ever. I love the visuals as you're riding between towns.	Here's another one, with... um, I don't know which tower that is poking out of the forest. Darn.
Her minion is a Mini-Diablo, and instead of her minion, it gives his tag as "Lord of Terror." I want to know more.	Another gryphon shot. I can't get enough of them.
The chat log explains what's going on here.	This was my first visit to Kalimdor, to obtain a rare herb to summon a succubus. They have big monsters in Horde lands.
So I killed it. I felt like the nature guy - "She's a real beaut! <Shoots lightning bolt at me> Ooh, she's fiesty today."	Then I went to close to a Horde town, and the guard (who's at least 20 levels higher than me, since he has a skull where his level would be) tried to kill me from way far off. You know things are bad when things represented as a skull come after you.
I love the quest description for the succubus. Basically, you're trying to summon a demon of pure evil that seduces, corrupts, and consumes mortal souls, so you need an emblem of true love. Sounds reasonable. Oh, and for the bonus points, the chat log is the guild talking about DDR - someone had just brought up my introductory post wherein I said that I played "an excessive, almost frightening amount of DDR."	I don't know why I cropped this one. But that's my succubus. She spanks herself a lot.
Another gryphon shot, as we skim this river.	This is the first real group I joined, for the purpose of entering this cavern full of elite ogres and killing their leader. From left to right: Mirtai, my minion; Blarvis, the gnomish mage; Me; Azesher, the dwarven paladin; Rutor, the dwarven hunter (who was seduced by Mirtai within ten mintues); and Griswold, his bear.
That was the leader. He was... kinda wussy.	Another group shot, as we stood over his corpse.
I don't know what that guy did to piss off so many gnolls.	His guild name would then be " ".

The line was really, really long at the book store on the second day of class when I went to buy books. However, it moved really fast, and I didn't spend more than 15 minutes in line. Good to know, though, that they had a sense of humor about it.

Does such a thing really need to exist?

This guy was really cool. He was handing out free stuff while we were in line - water bottles (pictured here), lollipops, pencils, gum, etc.

This is crazy Mr. Jim McVey.

Argh. 1 Good... I was so very, very close.

This is the full set, of which the picture above was the last song. The set was something like Rhythm & Police, Kind Lady, Healing Vision (Angelic Mix).

1 Good. So annoying.

DDR dances its way to platinum - Xbox News at GameSpot

DDR dances its way to platinum - Xbox News at GameSpot

Maddeningly energetic J-Pop and Electronica. Works for me.

I'm crazy for feeling this way

Updates have been a little sporadic lately, because I've been playing the crap out of WoW. Sorry 'bout that. However, not that sorry, 'cause this is only going to be a mini-update. Why? I want to go play some WoW.

I'm scared. She leaves tomorrow, and despite her reassurances (well, something like that), I still have bad mental images. But I trust her.

Fun stuff with Dave and Rick. Oh, and there's some new girl starting (another one? Geez.) Catrin, or something along those lines.

Couple misc. posts I still have to make.

Oh, and according to a recent non-scientific survey, DDR is incredibly effective for building incredibly calf muscles, more so than a combination of running and basketball.

Senator Wants Boxing Gloves on Chickens

News

I'm crazy for crying; I'm crazy for trying

So, the first day of school. It was actually pretty cool. My first class is at 8 am, which means I have to get an early start.

Yeah. That worked well. I woke up at... 7:30? Something like that. I got my ass out the door, though, and got there in record time. I was a minute or two late to class (Intro to Philosophy), and walked in as he was calling roll. Nothing notable in that class. After that, um... Assembly Language. I'm actually looking forward to that class, because we're going to be digging deeper into how computers work. We've all heard the "well, there's a bunch of 1's and 0's, and they represent stuff", but *how* do they do that? The teacher is... European. Not sure where - I'm terrible at deducing accents and speech styles. But I really like the way he talks, and oddly accents and pronounces certain syllables. After Assembly Language, I have Chem I. The professor is Mr. Jim McVey, who's really cool. Kind wacko. That'll be a *really* easy class. Immediately after that (yeah, four hours of four back to back classes), I have Probability. When the teacher (God, Lilie's being a sarcastic bitch. Normally, that's a great quality...) came in, I thought he was a grumpy old guy.

Nope.

He's a crazy (notice a recurring theme here? You will.) Scottish guy. I mean, really Scottish. I keep expecting him to yell "Freedom!!!" and throw a sword. Or something.

I was smart this semester, and gave myself a two hour break from noon - two to play DDR. Last semester, I only had half an hour, and frequently skipped CS as a result. Now, I just walk into my next class very tired and sweaty. As usual, there was a crowd watching. Well, a few people. When I got there, there were a few regulars playing (I still don't know any of their names.) I hate showing people up, but it's getting harder and harder not to. Arrogant? Probably. But I'm tired of holding back, of pretending I'm not as good as I am, or being afraid to admit it. So I ripped two of them apart. Not really. Sort of. You would have had to have been there to understand.

But the important part (well, one of them) is that some people saw. After all, it's right next to the cafeteria, and there's a lot of people walking through that area.

Anyway. I'm an attention whore.

So.

So, then was Data Structures. This is an interesting class. I've taken the majority of it in Java already (again, Java >> C++), so a lot of it is review. It's interesting that OOP is such an awkward topic in C++, whereas in Java, you can't do ANYTHING without having to deal with classes and objects. The professor is a crazy old Asian guy. He's supposed to be really challenging, which means this is going to be a fun class.

So, that was the first day of school. I'll have some pictures of my teachers and stuff up soon. I'm actually writing this over at Lilie's, as I write my character backstory on the Autumn Weave forums.

Mainichi Interactive - Top News

Woman faces charges for deleting ex-boyfriend's online game data

This is awesome. I especially like the way they describe MMO's for the general public.

Higher and higher; I'm gonna light your fire

So, skating Monday.

Janelle and I had talked about skating Monday, since it was a holiday and she didn't have school, and her skates had recently come in. I remember Lilie saying she liked to skate as well, so I invited her as well.

We had to clean house first, and Lilie was supposed to work during the day, but she got in an argument with the manager and walked out. We ended up going... I don't really remember when we got there. There was *no one* there. Well, that's not actually true. The staff was there, and I think there were three other people there for about ten - fifteen minutes after we got there. After that, it was just the three of us.

I played PIU first, 'cause, well, even though it's DDR's retarded bastard cousin, it's still a member of the family, no matter how embarrassing. Lilie actually came over and watched, which always makes me nervous and/or self-conscoius. But we did start skating before too long. It was... okay. We even had a free skate in the opposite direction. That's always fun. We held hands while skating a lot, but eventually gave that up, after suffering the dreaded 'slingshot effect' a few times. I finally got to try that thing where two people are holding hands, and one person is skating backwards, and they're holding both hands. Didn't work very well.

One interesting point. We were sitting over on the table, talking about leaving or staying or doing karaoke or what, and somehow, the conversation of being sweaty came up. I mentioned that Lilie hadn't seen me really sweaty (as I get after a few hours of DDR), and she said that she had. It took me a second to realize that she was talking about the time we were naked together in bed, almost going at it. I wouldn't be surprised if Janelle deduced the reference, as well. And that would be funny.

So after that, we went to the LBJ Student Center. I wanted to play some DDR, and she wanted to check out the art supplies at the bookstore. They were closed - it was late, but we realized that it was because it was MLK Day. We started talking about whether or not we've technically had sex. She said that she's including my on her list of people that she's had sex with (and apparently, no one else , not ever her best friend of twenty-something years, knows how long that list is. The only thing she'd tell me is that it's lower than her friend's, which is... um, I think 62. Fair enough.) (For those of you who're curious, my own list is somewhere between 1 and 3, depending on whch circumstances you consider sex. And just saying, "Well, penetration/intercourse is sex." doesn't help clarify the situation at all. More on that later, if I'm in a weird enough mood). Anyway, we went back to the parking lot, and were standing by my truck for a while, engaging in PDA's. Well, sorta. We were hugging. Kinda like we used to in the old days, when we'd stand there with our arms around each other for prolonged periods of time. That's a feeling that I retreat to when I need to re-balance myself and find my center. That lasted for a while, 'til she mentioned that she was cold, and we retreated to the interior of my truck. Oddly enough, though, we didn't drive off, but continued hugging. It was nice. Throughout this, there were instances of the old days - finishing hugging, but still having our arms around each other, and our faces right next to each other. Our faces being close enough together that our lips were almost touching. I mean, I know we're just friends; I think it's finally gotten through that we're apart, that we're probably (Argh!! I can't even bring myself to say this without throwing in a hedge-word. I know why, though. More on that later.) not getting back together, regardless of my feelings for her, or her declared feelings for her.

Then, it happened. She kissed me. I'm sure of it, too - she definitely kissed me. Then I kissed her. Then I kissed her again. Then she kissed me again.

Kinda scary. It lasted a total of maybe thirty seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I hadn't felt that good since... well, before Christmas, to be sure. Reminiscing about it, though, does make me a bit... melancholy. Wistful. Something like that.

Further analysis to come - I've got to go to work. Janelle worked 12 - 5, so I'll get to talk to her about how it went. She actually closed carhop by herself Thursday night, for Ashley. Crazy stuff. Kristin and Katie both said she's really getting it down, doing well. I hope so.

It's just one of those days

It's been a few days, so I have a ton of catching up to do. I'm, as I write this, also burning a crapload of stuff to CD.

First off, I forgot to mention two really cool things that happened Wednesday night. Now, for the squeemish amongst you, the following paragraph does contain a direct reference to breasts. Female breasts. In fact, there are at least two distinct references to female breasts, as well as to me being naked. There - you have been warned.

Apparently, Lilie was having issues with her bra that evening, and kept making minute adjustments to it. Well, minute to a point. At one point, she was standing in the middle of the living room; I was sitting in the big comfy chair. She started making a lot of adjustments - she was reaching around, tugging her shirt, going all-out. I have to admit, it was most... visually appealling, watching her tug her shirt over her... generous endowments. I offered to get up and leave at one point if she needed me to or something, but she declined the offer. Which makes a decent amount of sense - we have been completely naked together, and we're still very close, and stuff. Or something like that. Later, I was sitting on the floor, watching The Daily Show and she was playing WoW. A commerical break came on, so I sat up and was playing with my phone, editing the phone book and contact list. A GGW commercial came on, and I guess she looked up and saw me playing with my phone and thought I was deliberately not looking at the screen. Which was kind of humorous, 'cause she then called me on it. (I guess that was more of an indirect breast reference on the second one, then.)

So yeah, opened Thursday, and didn't get out of there 'til fairly late. Came home, only to find that the DVD I had been burning - Death to Smoochy - to take over to Lilie's and watch with her had erred. In investigating the problem, I learned that my copy was corrupt at the end. Bummer. So I left, planning to stop at Blockbuster on the way there. I hit a major traffic jam at Sessoms, 'cause they're doing construction on the Sessoms/Aquarena intersection. It took FOREVER. She called at one point while I was stuck there, asking me if I was still coming over. I explained what was going on, but noted that she sounded very tired. She confessed that yes, she had just woken up. I offered a few times to do this some other time, if she was too tired, but she persisted that she'd be fine.

Finally got over there by way of Blockbuster. They had Almost Heroes in, so I went ahead and grabbed that too. Got to Lilie's, and... she was asleep. I mean, she was asleep before I knocked on the door and she let me in. So we cuddled up on the couch - well, not quite as cuddly as we have in past occurences, but still pretty damn cuddly - and watched the movie. About halfway through, she told me she was hungry, but I didn't catch the hint 'til about 2/3 rds of the way through, when she asked me to go get her some food. I did, and came back just in time to catch the end. Great ending. We chowed down, and she was really tired and wanted to go back to sleep, so I left.

Friday, I opened again, then came home, went to sleep, and woke up... late. That's all I remember. Went and played DDR. I called Cullen to see if he wanted to go, but he was asleep. Fair enough. Oh, now I remember something else about opening. The Coke guy was there really early - 6:30 or so, and started wheeling in the delivery as I was making burrito mix.

Coke Guy: "Making breakfast?"
Me: "Um, yeah."

He offered me "the hookup" for two BLT's, which sounded fine to me. Next I know, he wheels in a case of eight (8) 2 liter bottles of coke. I don't even drink coke, but it seemed like a fair trade. I asked around, and the only person there that really liked Coke was Ashley, so she gave me her keys as I was leaving so I could put some in her car. I put 4 bottles. Gave 2 to Megan as I was leaving as well, since Tracy really likes Coke as well (she didn't tell me, though, since she's trying to stick to Diet Coke. I would later learn she drank like a liter of it in record time.)

Anyway, other that that, nothing substantial. So I went solo to Austin to play DDR. Nothing of note there - no real crowds, no one I knew. I did take the sixth spot on Police Academy 2; put "Polar Bear" there. 'xtigerlily' was still on; I think it was at #2. 'jackalope' had been knocked off. There was one small incident, which I sort of hinted at in a previous post. I was going off on fifth mix; some couple walked up to the PIU machine (which they brought back, right next to the fifth mix - what a travesty!); the girl gave it a try, while the guy watched. She didn't do that well. A little bit later, I went over to play some Crazy Taxi while I was cooling off. As it turns out, they were playing Ms. Pac-Man, which is *right* next to Crazy Taxi. She came over by me and started talking to me. She asked me how you're supposed to do it, and I explained about hitting the pad right as the arrow hits the top - and she complimented me on my 'dancing'. It was pretty cool. Her boyfriend did put his arms around her pretty tight after that, though. As if.

Left there, 'bout 1 and went over to David's. His place is pretty big, and definitely a geek's paradise. I finally saw his computer, which looks even sweeter in person. And it's HUGE. He was in the middle of an elite dungeon, but I got to try WoW eventually. I went with a female Gnomish mage - possibly recreating one of my favorite D&D characters ever, SunnyJoy. I used the random name generator and got "Schlemilly", which is what I'm going to use when I re-create her. I had a blast, blowing up sheep and stuff. Somehow bypassed the secondary town and went straight to IronForge. It was 5:30 when I looked up next. Crazy. I was definitely sold on the game after that. Got home and crashed.

Saturday, I didn't do much except look around town for a copy of WoW, which I didn't find. No one had it. Battle.Net didn't have any; Amazon.com had some... for over a hundred dollars. I put one on hold at Hastings. I also made that really depressed post; that whole thing was just about WoW. Lilie called that night, while I was counting the stuff. I'm trying, but I can't remember exactly why she called. She did ask me about the post, though, and what was wrong. I didn't want to tell her, 'cause I wanted to surprise her when I showed up online. So, I tried to play it all off, but she wasn't having any of that. She did say something like "Left to my own devices, I tend to come up with the worst case possible scenario, and think it's something that's going to make me angry, or upset, or jealous." Which is funny, 'cause I know *exactly* how she feels - I've been going through it the past couple weeks or so. Anyway.

Sunday, I had to work 2 - C. That was fun. Wait, no, she called on Sunday night, 'cause we talked about skating the next day. I think. It all kind of runs together after a while, which is why I hate waiting so long to do these recaps.

Monday, we went skating, which gets its own post. Hint: It contains a kiss.

Tuesday, I worked 11 - 5, came home and slept, then... um, can't remember. I think I went back to sleep again?

Wednesday was the first day of class, which also gets its own post.

Yesterday, I went to Gamestop after work and picked up a copy of WoW, and I've been playing that since.

There's no escape; I can't wait

Man, I always seem to be behind on updates. I used to post things right after they happened, but that doesn't seem to happen any more.

Anyway.

So, Wednesday, I opened. That was okay. That was actually one of the shifts I was covering for Adam. One of three, but that's cool - I already had 40+ hours scheduled, so they'd *all* be overtime - at least 20 hours or so. Good stuff. I was supposed to go to a meeting after I got off, but I fell asleep when I got home. I didn't think I was that tired, but I did close Tuesday, then I was up all night posting stuff and screwing around, then went in and opened. I didn't realize how tired I was 'til I came home and lied down for a bit to check my email. Crashed out almost right away. I felt bad about it, until I really thought about it - I was covering Adam and Dave's ass and making sure the store was taken care of. Yeah, I had agreed to go the meeting and missed it, but at least I was showing up for my shifts and covering other people's as well.

Anyway.

Woke up 'bout 4:30 or so. I didn't do onions that morning, 'cause I figured I was going to come in and do them later. So I did - I figured since I was already doing them and I had to open Thursday as well, I'd go ahead and do enough for both days. I... went a little overboard and cut something like 2 1/2 bags of onions. That's... oh, 125 pounds of onions. Or so. It ended up being enough for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and some for Saturday. Yeah. I was also going to take the deposit, but I forgot about it, so I had to go back again and get it. Since I was in the area, I decided to stop by Lilie's and say hey. She seems to be fairly receptive to that kind of out-of-the-blue greeting, so I decided to go for it again. Or something like that.

We hung out for a while. It was coo. She mainly played WoW, which is good, 'cause I hate disrupting people's normal patterns or having a fuss made or stuff like that; There were, though a few moments that stuck out in my mind. I was sitting there cross-legged on the floor, and she came over and sat on my lap and cuddled up against me. Similiar thing when I was sitting over in the big comfy chair. It's... nice to know that we're still good friends, that we're still close. I still feel comfortable around her, even if she does confuse me at times (though she's not doing it on purpose - she confuses herself just as much.) I did get another reminder that she reads my journal, though - she started talking to me about there not being another reason about us breaking up, and no ulterior anything, and that she still likes me. That's not something I hear very often, nor have cause to believe. So I feel warm and fuzzy inside, and it's all her fault.

Went out and got some KFC; got back in time to watch The Daily Show for the first time in a few months. Good stuff. They had a double-feature, which was really nice. I don't think I stayed that long after that. They did a promo for Death to Smoochy, which it turned out she hadn't seen yet. I had a copy of it on my comp. so I asked her if she wanted to get together some time later to watch it, since it's such an awesome movie. We decided on the next day, Thursday, since she was off and I was opening again. Came home, crashed, some ol' same ol'.

Lyrics - Pretty Life, Jackalope

So I get a ton of hits on my blog from the search terms "Jackalope", "Pretty Life", and "lyrics". Sometimes it's Katie B Jackalope. Here's the thing: I did my own research, and there isn't any band called Jackalope, nor did they do a song called "Pretty Life". The name of the band is "Jakalope" - no 'c'. But since I'm such a nice guy, I've finally decided to post the lyrics here, where you'll find them, even though you're searching under the wrong search terms.

Now, without further ado, the lyrics to 'Pretty Life' by Jakalope.


I am just over your shoulder, baby
You make me feel colder by turning away
Would you stop for a second, im askin' you a question
About, "you know why i am...?"

You know, you know, you know why

Im about to change your pretty mind
Im about to change your pretty life

You can close your eyes, but do you taste my breath?
Hear my voice drowning you, feel my skin on your back
Hey i see your falling, and on your knees your crawling back
Back to me

Im about to change your pretty mind
Im about to change your pretty life
Are you ready? theres no stopping time

'cause, 'cause, 'cause, 'cause
You could be the reason i love, you could be the reason i love
You could be the reason i cry
You could, you could, you could, you could

Im about to change your pretty mind
Im about to change your pretty life
I can see the fear thats in your eyes
Are you ready? theres no stopping time

You could be the reason i love
You could be the reason i cry
You could, you could, you could be the reason why

My roses are red

Holy crap.

My head is spinning, my heart is racing, I don't really know what's going on.

Well, that's overdoing it a bit. It was just a heat-of-the-moment type thing (I think, at least), that's not necessarily indicative of anything that's about to happen, though it does give me hope for the long run.

Simple and clean is the way you're making me feel tonight

I'm so sad.

Here it was, the opurtunity staring me in the face this whole time. Did I jump on it? No. I debated. I considered. I examined the alternatives, the consequences, the ramifications of my actions. I looked at what effects my decision would have on me and those around me - not just now, but down the road as well.

And finally, finally, I decided to take the plunge, make the commitment, dive in with all of my heart. I opened my arms, my heart, my being...

Only to be rejected for waiting so long. I don't like rejection - well, save those who take a weird masochistic joy in it, I doubt anyone really enjoys rejection.

But I don't either. I felt... abandoned, with no one to blame but myself. If I hadn't waited, I wouldn't have missed out. If I had just gone with my heart's first impulse, which I keep telling myself I do listen to, instead of endlessly debating with myself over the minute details, I wouldn't have to go through the pain I'm going through right now. Being rejected is always hard, but when you had the oppurtunity and squandered it, let it slip through your fingers through inaction... and now, must I wander alone and wonder what could have been? Or will the grey clouds part and let the sunlight through once more?

I'm preparing my umbrella, and leaving my sunscreen at home.

You can't see it, I'm fabulous

Quick update before I have to head to work.

Went and played some DDR last night; that was fun - had a girl compliment me on my 'dancing' and asked me how to do it. That's always cool.

Hung out with David for a few hours - played some WoW, and I'm definitely sold. Now I just have to find out the name of Matt & Luke's guild.

Finally beat Lord of the Rings: The Third Age. The last boss was Sauron. I'm not kidding. After fighting through the fields of Pelennor, you fight Sauron and/or his gigantic eye of fire on the top of the tower of Barad-dur. Or something like that. Ludicrous. Thought the evil mode re-match was a lot of fun.

Sit down and I'll regale ya' 'bout my nephew from Australia

Will the deluge never end? This is will be my... fourth post tonight? Third? Something like that. This one may be the hardest to write, though. The others were nothing more than recaps and summaries.

This, of course, also means it's harder to write. Well, not really. That doesn't make it harder to write. The fact that I'm trying to put down how I feel about Lilie and our situation makes it difficult to write.

That whole thing I posted the other day... all I was really trying to say is that I have a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that there's something else. Something I did wrong. Or didn't do. Or did, but shouldn't have. Or something like that. And I don't know about it, and am doomed to make the same mistake again.

I've usually been good about analyzing my mistakes and learning from them... but this is one area where that isn't the case. Apparently, I've learned nothing. Now, my first disclaimer: There will be those of you who feel that I'm making a huge deal out of this, or just need to calm down and roll with it, or something along those lines. You're partially right, but that's how I am. I analyze things non-stop. It's one of the few good (well, sometimes) good things about having such a strong stream-of-consciousness. But this is really my only place to get this out - I don't really talk to anyone about this (well, except Jarrod, but that's because he asks me about it every time I we talk, because, well, that's what we do.) So among other things, I'm searching for some catharsis. If that's a problem, get out. Seriously. Leave me to my own little corner of the web, where I'm just going to do my thing, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Anyway.

On a sidenote, I actually just burnt her a CD to replace the one she dumped some Mountain Dew (the most toxic substance known to man) on. Well, not entirely. I've been meaning to, but it just never happened. Today before work, I fell asleep, then had to run to my appointment, which went way late. Yesterday, I had my car problems. Sunday, I was sleeping and doing housework. You get the picture. I don't know what was on that CD, so I'm improvising here. I think I'm going to start another section on my blog that has my burnt CDs both so people can see what I listen to and so I can keep track of what I've burnt. I'll also put the CDs I've burnt for her on there, so I can avoid repeats on CDs. I wonder, though, if the discman she got that can read MP3's is the one hooked up to her car. If so... that makes things a lot easier. And a lot more difficult.

So it's finally sinking in that we're really, really broken up. I always had this hope that one day, she'd call me up and ask me to come over, and surprise me with a kiss. Or something like that. Or we're just hanging out at her place one day, and she comes over and sits on my lap (like last time) and hugs me, but something more. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Fuck that. I do.

Again, I belive her when she says it's just that she's not ready or doesn't want to deal with a relationship right now. But I can't stop my subconscious from conjuring up these thoughts, and they're easier to deal with when I get them out somehow - it used to be by talking to someone about it, but this works as well. Will we just be close friends from now on? Will we never again establish that deep, deep connection? Or is it just buried deep down, ready to resurface at a later time?

See, that's the kind of thinking that makes it so hard for me to let go. Which I've never been terribly good at; mainly, because I don't *want* to let go. I don't want to lose that connection with her. I just don't.

[[Oh - interesting sidenote. When I got to work today, I saw Kevin's truck in the parking lot. I thought perhaps he had come to pick up Shelley. Nope. She drove it home. Or rather, out of the parking lot and turned right, so I can only assume that was her destination.

...

Intersting choice on his part.]]

is that my fate? It seems to be what I do. Maybe that's all I am - the friend. Mabe that's all I'll ever be. I mean, I understand that it's my fault, for being who I am. Girls don't want someone that's kind of girly - a guy that's so shy about making moves. Seriously. Of all the relationships I've been in... I've made a move on someone... once? Kenni dropped hints for me to kiss her for two weeks before she finally got tired of waiting for me to catch on and just kissed me. Mindy didn't wait around, and basically told me to kiss her in the parking lot at the skating rink. That was funny, looking back. Had she not, we wouldn't have. Rudy made the famous comment, "You're such a good big sister to these girls." I'm sure being as stubborn as I am doesn't help. My horrendous taste in music, my near-obsession with DDR; hell, it's a miracle I've found relationships that have lasted as long as they did. and it's probably the case that three years wasn't nearly as long to wait as I should have. I just need to let go of the daydreams. To realize that her and I are through, that we're friends now (note: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I love being friends with her. Don't read something here that I didn't say.)

*Sigh*

At the same time, I can't. The same stubborness that keeps me apart from people prevents me from giving up on something like this. Which is a bad thing, because it's only when you reach your heart out with hope that it can be crushed.

I really don't know what I'm trying to say. I like her. I like her a lot. I don't know how she feels about me, nor do I think I will. But it's five in the morning, I've had maybe two hours of sleep in the last 40-something, so I'm going to let myself ramble. These may be the half-coherent ramblings of a sleep-deprived freak that's out of synch with reality, but hey, it's who and what and where I am, and that's all I have.

It's one of those insecurity things - I've done it before. You get afraid that perhaps you want to be with someone, or be friends with someone, much more than they do, so you wait for them to call you. On paper, it sounds kind of weird, but I've found myself doing it over and over again. The best example is near the end of my first year of college, when I actually called Chelsea, and we e-mailed back and forth and talked a few times (I still remember the conversation I had with her roommate - "Hello, is Chelsea there?" "Yeah, but I'm on the other line. Can I take a message?" "Sure! - Just tell her Billy called, here's my number: 512..." "Wait, that's waay out of town. Lemme get her.") It seemed like she was only responding, though. So I gave up on that. It's frustrating, but something you learn to deal with. It's akin to surrendering the ego - just letting go.

Maybe that's what I need to do. Just give her her space. Well, I sort of already did that, when I didn't try to contact her for a few weeks. She did call me, after she was feeling better. I don't know, I just get... tired. Tired of thinking that I've maybe formed a special connection with someone, which, while I have, isn't quite what I thought it was. Tired of falling for people that don't reciprocate. Tired of being hurt, and being hurt only because I set myself up for it so perfectly. I just want to find somsone that I'm comfortable with, that loves me for who I am, not in spite of it. That's all I really want out of life. Don't get me wrong - I understand that kind of thing usually doesn't come along when you're looking for it, and surprises you; I'm not. I'm just making an effort to understand myself.

I keep getting it pointed it out to me that I don't fit in. With people. I've never really found a group of more than two people that I didn't feel like an outside around. Back in high school, we had our little group of friends. With any one or two of them, I was fine. However, once we were in a group of four or so, I was the outside. Mind you, these were my good friends during high school. It's the same thing at work - well, not quite, 'cause I'm not really friends with anyone at work (I'm still confused as to why Lilie took so much offense at that statement. I'm really not. I'm friendly with people from work, but I don't think I'd consider myself friends with anyone from work. Freddie's definitely an exception, as we talk a lot outside of work, but he's probably the only one. I've been talking more with Jess, so that might be another, and Javi, though that's really just a work-based mutual respect thing. If you don't believe me, observe me at a party with the work group. It's... weird to watch. That's not a criticism on any of them, mind you - they've always been quite welcoming. It's just some bad wiring in me. I just really, really don't understand why Lilie took so much offense at Bennigan's when I told her that I'm not really friends with anyone from work. The only thing I can think of is she thought I was including her, or that I was saying I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone I work with, which isn't the case. She is the counterpoint to each of them, oddly enough.)

But I understand that it's my fault with the whole friend thing (I mean, only being friends with girls, not being boyfriend-worthy material or however you want to put it, not the feeling like an outsider even with groups of my friends thing). Like I was saying before, I'm just not what they want. I've read it, I've talked to girls, I know - girls like it when you make the move, that kind of thing. That's just an example, though. There's other one, some tied in to the whole "12 year old girl' thing. That, of course, started out as a commentary on my taste in music (Aqua, anyone?). Well, the Care Bears doesn't help, I'm sure.

Anyway.

Yeah, that's probably all I'm good for. The friend.

Lilie, I'm sorry

At the end of every week each one of us becomes a freak

So yeah, work.

Work's been interesting lately, for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I have acknowledged my mistakes and made amends with the crew. (Thanks, babe!) I've usually been pretty good about taking responsibility for my actions and admitting when I was wrong, which I was then. Well, for the most part. I do want to highlight two caveats, however: first, that this wasn't the result of Lilie and I breaking up - I was depressed well before that, though that didn't help. Well, that's really about the only caveat for those people who felt necessary to misinterpret everything I do. Or something like that.

Anyway.

I think Adam's finally out of there. Well, he should be. He walked out on Rick Wednesday evening. Him and Shelley were the fountains, Rick was managing, I was doing the deposit. Adam showed up about twenty or thirty minutes late, and had hurt his leg or something. Supposedly, it was really bad and should have been in a cast or something. Anyway, him and Rick were clashing. Again, this is all second and third-hand stories, so I can't garauntee that what I'm saying is true; I'm merely posting the composite picture I've been gathering from talking to various crew members. With those disclaimers in place: Adam was not doing his job - there was food out on all eight trays, and he was just talking on the phone or something. Finally, Rick made the comment - "It's because of that fucker that I'm going to have a really high av. time." Adam heard him, got pissed off, called his ride, and left (the timesheet records that he clocked out at 6:51). Rick closed fountain with assistance from the carhop, then handled the deposit. He did come in on Friday and worked for a bit, then Dave came in early for him.

Those parts, I can't really confirm, since I wasn't there. However:

I managed Saturday night; Adam was scheduled to fountain 5 - 9. He never showed up, nor called. The great thing was that we handled things well enough - all of our numbers were simply awesome for both the dinner and closing shifts. The credit, of course, goes to the great crew I had, and I was sure to let them know what a fantastic job they did that evening/night. I really wish he had come in, though, because I was just going to tell him to leave if he did. He was supposed to open Sunday. Again, no call/no show. Erica showed up on time, but was there by herself until 8, when Javi stopped by check on some paperwork. He opened the store, and Dora came in early as well. I came in at 5 and found all that out. The schedule for next week had been made with Adam in mind, of course. He had a number of shifts - opening Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday; 10:30 - 5 Thursday, and 10- 8 Saturday. Javi's taking his Monday and Tuesday shifts, and I'm taking his Wednesday (in, um... 3 hours) and Saturday shifts. He also has a Sunday shift, but Javi and I are shifting our schedules around to cover everything. We're both going to end up with tons of overtime, which makes me happy. Both because it's time and a half, and it annoys Dave. Today, Dave asked me about going to an Assistant Manager training meeting at 2:30 tomorrow (he didn't know I was opening, and was afraid he was going to have to.) I guess I'm going. Fun. So my schedule this week looks something like:

Mon: 5:30 - 9:30
Tue: 5:15 - 12:15
Wed: 6:00 - 2:00; (drive to Austin) 2:30 - 4:00; drive home (though I'll probably stop by and see Rose, and play some DDR while I'm up in Austin)
Thu: 6:00 - 2:00; possibly also 5 - 8 to help cover Adam's shift
Fri: 6:00 - 1:00
Sat: 10:00 - 1:00 (that's 15 hours, not 3)
Sun: 2:00 - 12:00

This will be fun - I got off work a few hours ago, and have less than three hours before I have to be back for another 7 or so hours. After that, I have to drive to Austin, spend another hour or two in a manager meeting, then drive home, only to open the next two days as well. I mean, I volunteered for the really fun bits, so I'm not really complaining or anything - just getting it all out on paper so I can see what I've put myself up against.

I heard Adam called today to see when he worked next, and Javi told him he doesn't work here anymore. He better not - not calling or showing up for four days in a row, then just trying to come in like nothing's happened? I don't know how much of it is in Dave's control - I'm fairly certain that Todd has something to do with Adam being at our store, but seriously. This is not the kind of example that needs to be set, especially where attendance and punctuality are concerned.

Janelle's been hired, and will be starting on Sunday or so. That's going to be interesting. Turns out she knows Pedro or something.

The other day, Bruce came up to me and told me that he wants to be a manager. I laughed at him. Yesterday, he told me that he talked to Dave, and he's going to be a blue shirt for a little, then become a shirt and tie. That's just scary. Bruce, as a manager? That'll be... interesting.

Oh!!!!! Saturday night: (I apologize for the length of this, but it's worth the read, and the encryption I'm using right now kind of expands the text length a little.)

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Needless to say, it was FUCKING AWESOME. Definitely a win-win situation, since I owed Kristin - for being primarily responsible for Lilie and I hooking up and becoming such close friends - and Chelsea - for coming in for me last Monday, when I was suffering from the death flu - big favors. Man, I need to compact that some. Squaring might be a little excessive. But yeah, Saturday night was definitely something to remember.

That pretty much wraps up work for now.

This could be messy

Here's my course schedule for this semester:

PHIL	1305 0251	-M-W-F-	0800A-0850A	PSY 00204
CS	2318 0251	-M-W-F-	0900A-0950A	DER 00235
CHEM	1341 0252	-M-W-F-	1000A-1050A	CHE 00100
MATH	3305 0261	-M-W-F-	1100A-1150A	DER 00330
CS	3358 0253	-M-W---	0200P-0315P	DER 00241

Semester Hours: 15

So yeah, I start at 8 am, which means I'll be able to find a parking spot in my parking lot of choice when I head to class. I've got four straight classes from 8 - 12, then a two hour break. That gives me plenty of time to play some DDR, do a little homework, catch my breath, whatever. Friday, I'm done at noon; otherwise, I have another hour and fifteen minutes later in the day. So it's going to be a fun semester.

You've washed your hands clean of us

Argh, so many things, don't know where to start.

Let's start with work.

Actually, no, let's try and finsh my recap that somehow dovetailed into a bizarre... I don't even know what. I'll get back to that weird tangent, though, and try to clarify what the hell I was talking about - assuming I can figure it out, of course.

So yeah, over at Lilie's Thursday night. Ex-girlfriends can't veto haircuts. She wants to be thought of as a friend, not as an ex-girlfriend. Which is no problem, because she's my closest friend. Well, it is a problem, because I can' t let go of my feelings for her, but I won't really mention them anywhere but here, so I guess it isn't really a problem. I ended up staying over there pretty late - I think it was around 4 or so when I lied down on her dining room floor and was opening her computer case, to see where the second hard drive was going to go - she has two disk drives, so the floppy drive is where the second hard drive would go. I'd just pull the floppy and put the hard drive there while she gets what she needs off of it, but apparently, its Keven's project, so I didn't really make any comments. Anyway. She came over and lied down next to me. She was really tired, and I wasn't that not-tired either. We *almost* fell asleep - I'm not sure how close she came, but I know she was almost, if not entirely, asleep. I got her up, though, and to bed, and went home. Had Friday off. Her car was getting out of the shop, so she asked me if I could come over and give her a ride to her car around 4:30 or 5.

So I left my house around 4:30 or so. I was sitting at the N LBJ/Sessoms intersection when I heard someone yell "Billy!" - it was Shelley, in what I could only gather at the time was Kevin's truck. I waved back, not wanting to tax my already sore throat. I was going to stop by Sonic to confirm with Javi that I was coming in around 9 or so to close for him since he had to work a long shift, as well as check the schedule for that night so I would know what I was going to be dealing with. Sure enough, Shelley/Kevin headed to Sonic as well. They parked on #3, I parked in the back and headed on via the other side. Shelley was standing in the lobby talking or something when I walked in, so I just went to the dry stock room to look at the schedule. When I came back, she was gone, so I talked to Javi about that evening - it was on. After that, I headed over to Lilie's. Her car wasn't quite ready, so I just hung out on the couch, watching TV. She made a comment about how Kevin didn't think she should be hanging out with me, and that he was also surprised that I hadn't made any moves to "get into her pants" Thursday night (or something like that). Annoying, but I can see his angle. And sure enough, Shelley and Kevin came in fairly soon afterwards. I gather Shelley had been trying to find someone to work for her on Saturday, so that she could go to a wedding with Lilie during the day, but to no avail. I didn't really say anything while they were there, mindful of Shelley's recently declared animosity towards me. I was invited (I think) to the wedding (as a last-minute escort, or something like that), but I had to work Saturday evening, and would have been unable to attend. They left fairly soon after that.

Lilie called to check on her car, and it was ready. We headed over there to pick it up, then came back. After that, we decided to go out to eat - she was really hungry. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go, so we stopped by Danielle's house first to pick up Kingdom Hearts and Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail: Special Collector's Edition DVD. I was wearing my cowboy hat the majority of the trip, but it turns out that neither Danielle nor Lilie like it. How terrible.

We ended up going to Bennigan's for dinner - she had the Fettucini Alfredo (I think), and I had the Monte Cristo. After that, I took her home, then headed into work. Nothing notable there. Saturday, slept in, and went to work at 5. Again, nothing notable. I think. Sunday, some thing. Well, one thing happened. The phone rang about 11:30 or so on Sunday. I answered it, and it was Lilie. My heart jumped with joy, until I realized that she was just calling to let me/the store know that Shelley was extremely sick - she may have caught the death flu, which I'm still dealing with the lingering effects of - and wouldn't be able to come in on Monday. I left a note, and I think Erica came in for her.

Monday, I had to re-attach my battery cable right before I left for work. Of course, it was incredibly corroded, and as I was tightening the terminal, it ripped off. It was... kind of scary. I was supposed to be leaving for work then, so I didn't really have a whole lot of time. Mom and Janelle were busy, so I tried Lilie. no answer. So I called Jarrod. Luckily, I got ahold of him, and he immediately started heading my way to give me a ride to work. As we were driving, we ended up making some plans for last night - he was going to pick me up from work, we'd watch the second DVD of RvB that I had just finished burning, play some video games, have a grand old time, and in the morning, he'd give me a ride to the bank, the part house to grab the parts I needed to replace, then to my house. I was only about half an hour late, nothing terrible, since Bruce was still there. I was originally supposed to close fountain with Rick running the show, but Katie wanted to stay and carhop, so Lacey stayed for me; I got off around 9:30 or so. Everything else went as planned. I crashed on their couch; we did our thing this morning, and I got my truck repaired. Fun times.

I did manage to talk to Lilie as Jarrod was driving me to work. We had an... interesting conversation. I asked her if she'd like to go skating sometime - Janelle really wants to go as well, since she's getting in some new skates (oh yeah, she's hired at my Sonic as well, and will probably be starting Sunday. More on that later.) , and when I mentioned it to Jarrod and Danielle, they seemed interested as well, so there might be all kinds of people there. Now, if only they had a real DDR machine instead of Pump It Up, things would be perfect.

I got my truck fixed, went to my Academic Advising appointment today, and got to work. Of course, I was late again, 'cause my appointment ran late - it was supposed to start at 3:30, but it didn't start 'til well after 4, and he had to take 2 different phone calls during my appointment. I wouldn't have minded, except I had to be somewhere at 5. Eventually got it done, left, and got to work. Nothing exciting there. Came home, registered for classes. I've got 15 hours this semester. More to come.

Welcome to Twin Galaxies

Welcome to Twin Galaxies

Who says you can't make money playing video games?

And once you meet her, you will find that something inside is chanigng

I hit the dead zone on Lime Kiln, and the connection dropped. This was the first time I'd experienced that, so I thought she had hung up on me; she didn't know where I was, so she thought the same, except in reverse. She called back a minute or so later and asked why I hung up on her; I asked her the same. We got that situation sorted out easily enough. Then we agreed I'd head over after I dropped Cullen off.

I got over there, and it ends up being that I'm going to take her where she needs to go, which I have no problem with. I just won't buy them. I don't even like to say the word. It's just one of those really weird psychological blocks that I have. I went through it with Mom a few times, so this isn't exactly new territory. I'm not entirely sure I can explain it, other than to say that I loathe smoking with every fiber of my being. It's hard enough for me to just be around it.

So anyway.

She told me I didn't have to leave right away or anything, so I hung out there for a while. We talked, she played WoW, I watched TV, all kinds of fun things. There was some hint of our previous closeness - at one point, I was sitting cross-legged on the floor; she came over, sat in my lap, and hugged me. We had some interesting conversations - I mentioned that I wanted to shave my head bald again, she said no, I told her that as an ex-girlfriend, she can't veto haircuts. She made an odd comment about not wanting to be thought of as an ex-girlfriend, but as a friend. Which I do. I mean, sort of. I consider her my closest friend - well, her and Jarrod, but I rarely talk to Jarrod - but I can't forget how I feel (present tense) about her, and what we've been through. I miss that terribly, but I understand how she feels right now.

(Note: Tangent alert) There are two important pieces of background information I should preface this tangent with, both concerning my mental state. Well, not my mental state, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it. What I mean is, how I am. Or something like that. Enough meta-description, here goes. First, I am terribly insecure. Not about everything, just about myself vis-a-vis relationships. I have the hardest time believing someone actually likes me for who I am, that they enjoy spending that quantity of time around me, kissing, etc. It's something I've faced in every relationship I've ever been in. Secondly, I have a very powerful stream-of-consciousness. I literally cannot stop my mind from wandering all the time. I think that's one of the reasons I enjoy both video games and DDR so much - they make it easier to ignore the non-stop voice that talks endlessly in my head. That's also one of the reasons I don't sleep that much - it takes me forever to fall asleep, and in that time, I get to be privy to the worst my mind can dish out. It's fun. So basically, at any given time - work, taking a test, playing DDR, whatever - I'm doing my own conscious thinking, and listening to a stream-of-consciousness voice in the back of my head. I've talked to other people who describe something similiar, so I can't say that I'm really unique or anything, just explain how I am.

Anyway.

The corollary to that is my head and heart don't see eye-to-eye (eye-to-artery?). I can know something intellectually, and refuse to accept it emotionally. I've talked about that a little before when I was talking about Lilie liking me. I could believe, but I still doubted deep down. So. That scenario is replaying itself, albeit with somewhat different parameters. I believe her reasons for breaking up with me (which, while I won't really go into here, since they're her business and pertain to her state of being, which I don't think she would want thrown open to the public), aren't so much about breaking up with me as they are about breaking up with me (trust me, it makes sense).

Now, to tie all of that together.

I find myself - well, not me, but the little voice in the back of my head that I have no control over - wondering why. If there's something I don't know, or missed. That's always been one of my greatest fears - ignorance. For example, I know from our conversation at Joe's that she's a very sexual person, and I know I was unable to fulfill those needs (for those of you who don't know, I was unable to get an erection the first time we spent the night together, which was the only time in all the times we slept together that it was ever an issue.) I mean,

(Side note: My torrent of Season 1 of Rocko's Modern Life just finished, which means I now have the entire series. Go me.)

I don't think

(Side note number 2: Had to go do the dishes, and had X-Play on in the background (which, for those of you who don't know, is a show on G4-Tech Tv where Morgan Webb (a girl) and Adam Sessler (a really whiny guy) review video games); they were plugging their book that they wrote. Adam made a comment about how they had reviewed some games in there that they didn't even know existed, like, and he flips to a random page and goes "La Pucelle". Except he pronounced it "La Pu - chelle". Which isn't right - if you're going for the Italian pronounciation, which does have 'ce' pronounced as 'che', you would then say the 'e' on the end as well. Then they had a little debate about if anyone had actually played it. Which I did, and I'm fairly certain Lilie did as well. It's the prequel to (though it was released over here after) Disgaea: Hour of Darkness.)

I don't really think that's why she broke up with me. I believe what she told me, but I can't fight my subconscious. I can't help but wonder if that's the kind of thing that, in ten years, when we're nothing but a fond memory of each other (note: I hope to all that is out there that that isn't the case. I haven't connected with someone like this in a long time, and even if we're just friends in 10 years, that's not something I want to surrender easily) if this is something that will be laughed about. I mean, I laugh about it too, so I'm not quite sure where I'm going with that one. Lemme try something else. That was just an easy example - there are plenty of other things I may have done 'wrong'.

...

I guess all I'm really trying to say is that...

Hell, I don't know. That had some purpose when I started it, but getting interrupted to go do the dishes before I go to work may have thrown off my train of thought and made me forget where I was going with that. Just ignore it as some random, half-assed tangent that never really took off.

Also, I'm not trying to seem obsessive. I'm not really obsessed, it's just that there's not a whole lot going on in my life, so when something does happen, it tends to preoccupy a disproportionate amount of my mental time and blog-space. Which isn't to say that I don't like her a great deal, because I do. I acqueise to her wish, and think of her as a friend instead of an ex-girlfriend, despite how I still feel about her. I hope that doesn't cause her any distress, though, and if she asks me to drop the topic here... well, I probably will. I mean, this is my little online space to talk about what I want, but I know she reads it, so...

Anyway. So much for recapping what I've been up to lately. I'll try again when I get home from work.

Picture post: Christmas party and a few assorted goodies

Here's the beautiful Lilie sitting in the passenger seat of my truck. I can't quite tell where we are, and this was taken... oh, December 1st, so I definitely can't remember. Lemme check my blog... Nope, no help there.	These are the people who stand across from me in Chem Lab. The girl furthest on the left (Jennifer? Jessica?) is really cute, and had a really cool high-pitched voice, not unlike Ashley.
This guy *hated* me *so* much, and was rather hostile towards DDR as well.	Here's the lovely Lilie (as my mom calls her) again. I *love* the bandanna tied up in the hair. I think it's *so* cute.
Ah, now on to the Sonic Christmas Party. Katie's been bugging me about posting these pictuers for a while now. Here's Tomas Cruz, sitting down. He's really good at that. I never really notice how old he looks except when I see him without his hat on; then, you can really see all of his grey hair.	Here's my first encounter that evening with Big Ray.
And here, he's showing off his... pythons? More like grass snakes.	That's Chelsea in the red (she's only 17) sitting across from Lacey. Chelsea is actually a really, really good bowler. Suprised me too.
That's Ben looking somewhat tired, and Kenny concentrating on the action.	I don't know if Kenny's trying to jump back out of the picture, or just saw something he didn't like and his "fight-or-flight" reflex took over. Either way, here's Sunny.
This is the tatoo on Shelley's back. I like the concept.	Here's Allison and Kristin trying to avoid Katie taking a picture of them with her phone. Of course, that gave me the perfect oppurtinity to hit them from another angle.
Odd angle profile close-up of Shelley, with Dave in the background.	Random shot of Lacey. I don't remember if she bowled or not.
Terrible (at least around the eyes) picture of Ashley.	Allison and Kristin again.
God, I hate him so much.	Katie finally joined the party as well.
Erica and I. She looks so happy here, I miss those days.	Dave, Thomas, and Rick.
Kristin's really short.	Of course, the social situation provided the perfect oppurtinity for the cooks to lay their best game on the front crew. And get shot down miserably, needless to say.
Chelsea and Ashley. I think Ashley was mad at Thomas or something; don't really remember.	Man, he always looks tired or surpised or high off his rocker.
(An)drew, kicking back.	Nice little conversation - Rudy, Sunny, Dave, and Larry.
If you look closely enough, I'm pretty sure Kenny's checking out Sunny's chest.	Shelley saying something as she realizes I'm taking a picture, with Katie listening intently, and Ashley walking by.
Here's me and Ashley.	And me and Katie.
Another group shot: Sunny, Kenny, Chelsea, Kristin, and somebody's arm.	Lacey, Katie, and Erica. How cute.
The boys. Or the "dogs of the kitchen", or whatever the hell it is they call themselves. They still ain't got nothing on the wolfpack of yore.	Rick and Sunny. I desperately want to make a humorous comment or caption for this picture, but none come to mind.
Sunny leaning over and me.	Now, with smiles.
Adam's head and Larry's mustache. I'm not sure which one has more hair.	About three seconds later, with Kristin thrown in for good measure.
See what I mean about pictures of Ben?	A good bowler? Hard to believe, I know.
Erica enjoys the spotlight.	Ray, starting off the weird hand symbol marathon.
W? White? 3? E? Damn kids.	Dennis and Katie. His head looks very oddly shaped in this picture.
Kenny. Odd flash, odd smile, odd boy.	Bruce!
Is he winking at me?	Wow, great group shot!! Ashley, Allison, Chelsea, Shelley, Erica, Rudy, and Kristin.
God, I hate him.	I don't know what I was thinking.
Lacey and Larry.	Eh?
Katie had the camera at this point.	Little did they know that a picture of them had already been taken earlier.
I don't know if they're aware of each other at this moment.	A little closer, and we would have been able to see up his nose.
Ashley *hates* having her picture taken.	Adam and Kristin.
Now, smiling. It's nice to see everybody hanging out outside of work, getting along so well.	This is Emily, who we haven't seen in a while, and her 'date' in the background - actually, just her neighbor that she dragged along for the evening.
Katie and Erica.	And again.
Another group shot - Emily, Allison, Ashley, Bruce, Shelley, that girl, and Katie.	Another attempted group shot.
Kenny and Rudy.	I really don't know what I was taking a picture of here. Ben's butt? Lacey and Chelsea? The little console thing in the middle? Your guess is as good as mine.
The top of Larry's head. Let there be no more doubts.	Rick seemed to be having a good time.
In the few seconds just before this, she was nursing. Don't ask.	Dave carrying his re-gifted presents for us.
An action shot of me.	A chair.
Ben.	Rick. He blamed me for his lousy roll.
But he was good-natured about it.	Another nice group shot. I don't feel like listing everyone.
I don't remember her name.	I guess this would be a profile shot of Kristin's butt.
Random picture.	This was inside the lounge, after the bowling had wrapped up and the little after-meeting was about to begin.
Chris and Thomas.	Ben.
Sunny, as seen across Thomas's breast.	They were the two big "winners" - Sunny got some little bike thing, and Thomas, an equally crappy grill of some sort. Dave had won them both earlier in the year at some convention or something.
This is on the ride back with Rose, when we went to go play DDR. This semi was pulling another one behind it.	Here's Rose with her new look - the hair is shorter and a lot curlier, just an overall new look.