I was Juliet, you were throwing pebbles

So how do I feel about Rebecca?  As evidenced by my blog posts, I've had a crush on her since the first time I saw her.  I thought she was very attractive, and desperately wanted to get to know her, but thought I'd never get the chance.  I thought this was like a dream come true, and I really jumped at it.  I didn't ask her right out, and it took a while for it to come out, but it eventually came out that they were still together.  I'll admit, I was a tiny bit saddened; I was really hoping we'd hook up.  I mean, I'll definitely take the oppurtunity as it presents itself, and I did.  I did let her know how I felt, and if I'm reading this right, she basically told me that she wished she had a chance to give me a chance to give us a chance.

The recurring theme that kept cropping up was that Ralph couldn't know, and I felt that was a little messed up.  We weren't doing anything wrong, what reason was there to hide it?  At least, that's a surface interpretation of the situation.  As it turned out, it's just a festering cesspool of drama (the best kind).  He's apparently crazy jealous, and constantly accuses her of cheating on him, of being with other guys.  I mean, it's to the point where he won't let her have a computer, because he thinks she'll just use it to meet guys and hook up with them.

Here's the thing about relationships.  They're built on trust.  You can argue about it being communication, passion, love, or something else, but I assert that trust is what it all boils down to.  Why would you be with someone you can't trust?  If you're in a relationship, trust is the cornerstone!  You can't stop people from doing stuff they want to do.  Why would you want to be with someone that will cheat on you given any chance, and it's your job to make sure they get no chance?  I really don't understand it.  Whatever.

So during the shakeout process, he called me twice from her phone.  I'm not really thrilled about that; I don't want to talk to him.  The first time was to tell me about how he was done with her and stuff, the second time was to tell me how much they loved each other and how they were getting married.  I should mention that he spent the time immediately afterwards calling varous members of his family to tell them what a whore she was.

Fuck him.  That's the last time I want him mentioned on this blog.

So, moving on.  Where does it go from here?  I don't know.  I talked to her briefly when she got to work today.  It sounds like she intends to go with it, at least for the moment.  It's less than twenty-four hours since the shakeout really started, so it's hard to say where this is going to go.  I want her to be happy.  If she marries some guy and we're friends, that's cool.  If she marries some douchebag out of necessity, well, that's one more failure I can hang on my head.  That's a little roundabout, but if I hadn't screwed up my school stuff, maybe I could offer her a place to live, clear the necessity out of it.  Then again, if I did, would I still be living here, working at Domino's, where she would have had the oppurtunity to come see me?  I don't know.

So I think I'm caught up for the most part; I'll probably throw out random pieces here and there as I continue coverage of this drama llama of a situation.

Taylor Swift -- Love Story